take two

Seems like my New Year's Eve post was a little ambiguous. A few of you asked how to actually go about sending yourself an email you'll only receive next year. Sorry I wasn't very clear. If you wanted to do it but couldn't figure out how, or just didn't get to it yet, here's your chance.

Click on this:

It'll redirect you to a page where you can write the email. Go ahead and set the send-date for December 31,2009 so that you receive it on the very last day of the year.

His mercies are new today---can you feel 'em?

twenty-nine: gifts

Here's a thought: God's a giver.

We're called to be like Him.

That means we need to be givers.

29Gifts challenges us to give away twenty-nine things in twenty-nine days. The gifts can be anything to anyone. They don't need to cost you money, but they do need to cost you some heart.

Consider taking the challenge to intentionally give something away for twenty-nine days. I'd love to hear if you do it, and what sorts of things you choose to give.

I'm glad God gave me Himself. And I'm glad God gave me you.

nineteen: words

"I am always here for you. You can call me anytime---even if it's the middle of the night." I've said something along those lines a handful of times. One stands out in my mind because it was the most recent. I remember hanging up the phone and thinking about the people I know would be there for me in that way. Including some who've never uttered those nineteen words (or anything like them). And it got me thinking about how I know I can rely on them if they've never spelled it out.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this...

Have you ever had someone say something like that to you?

Do you know someone who'd be there for you in that way but hasn't necessarily said it? How do you know?

one: left

You know that revolving door I'm always talking about? It's going around again this morning as we say goodbye to our interns (who've been with us since January). One is staying behind for a few extra weeks but the rest are boarding a plane this evening and flying home.

After our week of debriefing together, I'm confident that this year in Africa changed each of them. And after watching them engage in ministry for a year, I'm also confident that they changed Africa. They've each left their mark, their footprint. And Africa will never be the same.

Neither will I.

this missionary can burp loud

I rarely drink soda. But I had a really strong craving for Coke a few days ago. Now, when I say Coke, I don't mean soda like some people I know. (A-hem.) When I say Coke, I mean Coke. Anyway, a few of the interns were drinking soda and, since I was desperate for Coke, I asked around to see if anyone had some I could take a sip of. Nope. They were all drinking diet. Blech. But that's another rant for another day.

I finally went and poured myself a glass of Coke. Two sips in, I was flooded with a memory and I realized why I'd been craving it so much.

Last year we brought the interns to the same place for debriefing. One night while we were here, we started talking about my propensity to burp loudly and how the interns hadn't yet heard this talent of mine. Laura, one of the interns, was notorious for her loud burps, so we challenged each other to a burp-off. We chugged some Coke in the hopes that it would spur on some amazing gas, and we sat around being unruly and goofy. But burps never came. So we drank more Coke. And more Coke. And more Coke. But we couldn't burp. I think there was just too much pressure for us to burp on-demand.

Even without burps, that crazy night was so fun. And drinking Coke in the same rented house in the same beautiful town along the southern coast of Africa brought it all back.

I love how sights, smells, and even tastes connect me to so many wonderful memories. Tell us about something that's connected to a sight, sound, or taste for you...

four-minute friday: do me a favor

Go. I've been contemplating my four-minute post for a few hours now and, with no clear topic in mind, I finally decided to just start typing.

Last night was my last intern class of the year. It was overwhelmingly incredible, to say the least. But I already blogged about that over on the Field Blog.

This afternoon I'm taking the interns for their last visit to Hope House. I know it's going to be emotional; they've poured themselves into these kids for an entire year...

We leave Monday morning at the ungodly hour of 4:00 to drive to Cape Town for a week of debriefing. I'm looking forward to one last hurrah with them. And I can't wait to see me some jackass penguins. (I'm serious! They exist! And they live in Africa!)

I talk often about the revolving door of my life in ministry --- how I tire of the constant turnaround of people. I must confess: I've grown to dread this time of year. All the goodbyes and the need to reopen my heart to start over? Man oh man, it's hard for me.

So will you do me a favor? Every time you drink a hot frothy beverage in one of those gloriously divine red to-go cups, remember me and say a quick prayer for my heart.

Done.

hmph

The community of blogging definitely has a different look and feel now that I'm back in Africa. Things like not having internet for five days really make it hard to retain any semblance of connectedness. It's not impossible. It's just not as easy as before.

I miss you guys.

30 hours

While we were in Sicily, I bought a last-minute ticket to Naples to spend a night with a friend I hadn't seen in a few years. Bonnie and her husband Brian minister to American military youth at a naval base in Italy; last time I saw them was three years ago, when they were doing the same thing in Germany. We'd gone to visit them because it was their daughter's first birthday. And their daughter's name is Alece.

Being so close to where they're currently living, we couldn't resist the chance for me to see them again. Little Alece turned four the week before I arrived. She's absolutely beautiful! I couldn't get over how grown up and independent she is. One of my highlights of the whole trip was hearing her belly laugh whenever something really funny happened.

Bonnie and Brian had two more kids since I'd seen them last. They don't any waste time! Bella and Cal are adorable, and I loved every minute with them.

We only spent about 30 hours together, but it was wonderful to catch up with my friend, attend one of their youth events, play with my little namesake, get leg-hugged by a toddler, and hold a cuddly infant.

whetting your appetite

I haven't forgotten about the blogger mission trip. In fact, I've been thinking about it a lot! Things are in the works and I'm hoping to launch some more information very soon. In the meantime, here's a glimpse of what you can expect to see and experience, through the eyes of the students who were here as part of Thrive Trip a few months ago.

I'd really like to hear from you. Has your desire to be involved grown since you first heard about the mission trip? Or have you honestly not really thought about it again? Or maybe you're hearing about it now for the first time?

Go 'head and talk amongst yourselves in the comments!

clicking my heels worked!

Apparently I'm spending the weekend in Kansas, where hopefully I'll be getting a makeover and a boob job.

Check it out.

kitty litter

I just reread an email a friend sent me after my surgery a few weeks ago. I saved it in my inbox because I knew I wanted to read it again. But I couldn't remember exactly why when I clicked on it tonight. And then I got to the last sentence.

"Oh, and Kitty... I sure am glad you woke up."

There is so much love, understanding, and care wrapped into that sentence. My heart can feel the hug of Amy's words in a way not many will ever understand.

And soon I'll be hugging her back. For real.

Our dearest friends arrive in South Africa today, after about 24 hours of travel with two kids under three: my Peaberry namesake and my raspberry-loving Siloh. I cannot wait.

Off to pick up some Kitties!

(un)refreshing day

I'm back in the land of slow, unreliable internet, where "refresh" takes 3.5 minutes, downloads are near impossible, and emails get stuck in my outbox. It makes you feel even farther away. As if the Atlantic Ocean wasn't enough!

sensational reunion

I still can't believe that two weeks ago I met friends I'd never met before. I still can't believe how much I loved every minute of it. I still can't believe how comfortable I felt in an altogether uncomfortable situation. I still can't believe how much I miss my new friends. That weekend, Cathi told Mandy and I that the best advice she received on her wedding day was to take time to consciously absorb what she was experiencing with all five of her senses. I tucked that thought away, like a smooth pebble from the beach, and attempted to do what she'd been challenged to do. I knew I didn't want my heart to forget a thing, and so I consciously paid attention to what my senses were, well, sensing.

Smell The wonderful aroma of Dunkin Donuts coffee reminds me of the sweetness that is Mandy's husband and the joy that comes with sharing a latte with a friend.

Sight I close my eyes and the first picture I see of our reunion weekend is the three of us on the couch, talking and laughing. There was no pressure or obligation to do or to be anything in particular. We couched it for hours, which to me is a sign of a close and strong friendship.

Sound There was such significance in getting to worship together at church on Sunday morning, which was multiplied even more by the sound of Mandy's sweet, strong voice singing to our Father as she led from the stage. What an honor to worship alongside my sisters and friends.

Taste Chicken and dumplings, boiled peanuts, salsa, zucchini bread... But mostly it is the taste of laughter that seems to linger in my mouth. Pure, unadulterated joy that only comes with authenticity and sincerity.

Touch During communion at church, Cathi reached over and grabbed my hand. That touch, both delicate and gripping, told me I am loved, wanted, and valuable.

Our reunion was indeed sensational!

What have been your best five-sense moments recently?

six feet of marblehead beach

Mandy took Cathi and I to her favorite beach. In typical us style, we didn't do much. We strolled; we looked for sea glass and pretty stones; we walked in both silence and laughter; we took flaughter pictures; we got Cathi in the water.

At one point, I called my friends over to me. I asked them to stand close, and with puzzled looks on their faces I angled the camera towards our feet. Suddenly they understood; they smiled and laughed and said what a great idea it was.

I felt the significance of that moment---of our feet, from all over the world, sharing the same space.

Looking at this picture, my heart swells. It holds a lot of meaning to me, in ways I can't even articulate.

I am thankful I'm not alone...

girlfriends with semi-colons

From the moment I hugged Mandy (accosted her is more like it) and got shoved by Cathi, they felt familiar and comfortable. We were all trembling from the nervousexcitement of meeting friends for the first time; we were literally shaking and out of breath. It was pure wonderful from the very first second. There was not a single moment of awkwardness.

We found ourselves saying the same thing at the same time and finishing each others' sentences. Even though we are at very different places in our lives, we share more common ground than I ever realized. My heart felt known and understood.

I've always watched with envy movies that depict a group of girlfriends. While I have closeness with a small group of friends, it's only ever been as one-on-one friendships. I've never had that same level of intimacy and authenticity with more than one person at a time. So I wasn't sure how that would play out this past weekend.

I feared feeling like a third wheel. I was scared that being the "quiet one" of the three would make me feel isolated. I thought my feelings of inferiority from not being in the academic world like the other two, would leave me feeling stupid and unloved. All of my fears were unfounded.

Now as I think about those movie scenes that I've always viewed with jealousy and pangs of longing, I can't help but smile. It is possible. I've felt it, experienced it, held onto it with my own two hands. Sadly, I had to leave it behind.

But I know that our time together didn't end with a period. No closure, no termination. It ended with a semi-colon; there's more to come.

essentially it's the non-essentials

We made sure we hit all the essentials during our reunion. We talked about how we got saved, how we met our husbands, how we got into ministry. I loved those conversations and learned so much about my friends through their stories. But I loved talking about the non-essentials even more.

The essentials, though wonderfully insightful, are things that anyone would/could know. They're the commonly asked questions and commonly told stories. But the non-essentials, that you can't plan for or script, are what make friendships so great.

I think the more non-essentials I know about someone, the closer I feel to them. When I had to say goodbye to Mandy and Cathi, I felt like I was saying goodbye to old, close friends. We shared a lot of non-essentials. And I loved every minute of it.

What non-essentials do you want to know about me? (Feel free to ask me questions and I'll reply in the comments.)

coffee talk: full disclosure

"We all like full disclosure particularly if it includes the admission of one's 1) mortality and 2) propensity to fail. (Related, but not the same.)" (-Dave Eggers in A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius)

What's the hardest for you to fully disclose?

Talk amongst yourselves.

(I won't have time to chime in until Monday night, but I can't wait to hear your thoughts on all this. Wondering where I am? Check this out.)