funny

spit it out

A conversation from my last babysitting experience, just a few weeks ago:

::

Little Sister: There's another word I can never say right.

Me: Oh yeah? Which one?

Little Sister: New International Virgin. You know, like the Bible?

Me: [laughing] Mmhmm...

Little Sister: [trying to sound it out] Virgin... Virgin... Virgin... See. I can't say that word.

Slightly Older Sister: That's what Mary was, right?

Me: Umm, yeah. So, whose turn is it on Wii Bowling?

::

What word(s) do you have a hard time saying?

my souvenir(s) from ohio

I've never been pulled over before. Until tonight. I've gotten tickets, but only because of those stupid ridiculous precious cameras posted along the highways in South Africa. And they've all been delivered by the unreliable postal service. I've never gotten a ticket in America. And never directly from a cop. Thankfully I can still say that. Even after tonight. Phew.

Thirty minutes before, I debated about whether or not I should hit the bathroom one more time. I'd been chugging water all night and had made frequent trips to the restroom. I kinda had to pee but figured I could easily handle the 20-minute drive home.

But as soon as I got into my freezing car, my bladder shrunk. Oh well, what's a girl to do? I just blared some tunes and hit the road. (Sidebar: In response to my recent post, a friend mailed me her iPod car adapter to borrow! Am I blessed or what?!)

Not five minutes away from my house, a cop car pulled out behind me. And when the red-and-blues started flashing in my rearview mirror, I groaned out loud. I was on this troublesome road that deceives you me with its four lanes. The speed limit is only 25; I was going closer to 35 40.

My heart was racing as I pulled to the side of the road. My only experiences with this sort of thing come from watching COPS. And we all know those encounters never end well.

I was in a borrowed car. With an out-of-state license. And I'm a resident of another country. The story was clearly way too complicated to explain to a policeman on the side of the road on a freezing night when my bladder was about to burst.

After way too long of an exchange, the cop decided just to give me a written warning. "After all," he said, "You need a souvenir from Ohio."

I smiled and squeezed my legs even tighter together. I wanted to tell him that my currently-developing urinary tract infection was more than enough of a souvenir. But I refrained.

All that to say: It's true what your mom used to tell you. You should always pee one last time.

i am the great wizard

I've received some great submissions for the Make Me Laugh video contest. (I'm smiling just typing that out, thinking about what some of you did!) And I've decided to extend the deadline to next Monday. Because a few of you let me know that circumstances interfered with getting your videos made on time. And really, because, well, I'd rather get in as many laughs as I can.

So if you wish you'd made a video but didn't, now's your chance. If the thought to make one never even crossed your mind, let it cross now: Send me some funny! Don't make me beg.

And if you're stubbornly stickin' to the idea that you're just not humorous, then at least send me a hello. I love seeing your faces and hearing your voices.

(Need a refresher on the rules of the contest? Go here.)

In other news... You can order just about anything these days.

but why?

make-me-laugh-banner-smaller

Are you still working on your video for the Make Me Laugh contest? I hope you haven't forgotten about it. Oh? You have? I'll recap.

  • You send me as many self-made videos as you want.
  • Whoever makes me laugh the most, wins!
  • The prize is money at Starbucks and iTunes.
  • Deadline is tomorrow at midnight (Monday/EST).

Why make me laugh? 'Cause I love laughing. And It's good for my heart. And who can resist getting me to do this:

Of and of course 'cause you can win something.You know, if you need a selfish reason...

this is how it all began

I was 18, spending yet another summer in Africa. Bonnie and I were tent mates---a Georgia Peach and a Long Islander, sharing the tight confines of a two-man tent. Amid the cramped quarters and rough conditions of rural Botswana, we became fast friends.

Our sleeping bags and suitcases pretty much filled the tent. Rice Krispie Treats, Fruit by the Foot, and M&M's abounded. (I am the queen of snacks!) Laughter hovered like a thick cloud, filling every small bit of space that remained. Bonnie makes the funniest faces and, even now, just thinking of her impersonation of a wide-mouth frog makes me laugh. Many, many good times were shared together in and out of our humble abode.

"So what's Bonnie short for?" I asked one day as we sat in our snack-filled tent.

"What do you mean?"

"I've never met someone named Bonnie before, so I have no clue what your full name might be."

She stated to laugh. "It's not short for anything. My name's just Bonnie."

"Really?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes! What would it be short for?" she challenged.

"I don't know..." I sat and pondered a moment. "Bonilda?!"

Bonnie doubled over laughing, tears streaming out of her eyes. I shrugged and laughed with her.

And to me, she's been Bonilda ever since.