2019 didn’t go as I’d planned or hoped. I’m fairly certain I feel that way about every year though, so I suppose that says more about me than about the previous 365 days.
That was my challenge and my gift this year. Looking back, I see ways that I embraced the pain and the joy, the impossible hardships and the beautiful victories, the moments I’d craved as well as those I wish I could have avoided. I embraced the grief of what isn’t while also embracing the beauty of what is. I embraced the seven-layer-dip of my emotions as I continue to learn to face, feel, and release each one as it comes.
As always, I haven’t arrived at a finish line but I developed some “muscle memory” and will be taking this word — this focus — with me even as a new year begins.
And tonight, as we close the chapter on this year and this decade, I will shut my eyes tight, let out a deep sigh, and give myself permission to start fresh.