The past few weeks have been a blur. An unanticipated surgery led to an antibiotic-resistant infection that bulldozed me in every way. As I came out of the fog of illness and sedatives, a new fog settled in. One of disappointment and frustration and anxiety and heartsoreness. This was not how my year was supposed to end. This was not how my life was supposed to look.
And yet... In the stillness, I also feel overwhelming gratitude to have come out the other side. I am thankful for those who showed up in much-needed physical, practical, and heart-strengthening ways. I am thankful for all the good — the unbelievable amounts of good — in my life.
So while I start this new year — this new decade — with more fatigue and less strength than I would like, I’m choosing to focus on what I have and who I am more than what I lack and who I’m not . Discontent comes more naturally to me than thankfulness does, so I’m going to more intentionally lean into gratitude in the year ahead.
Okay, 2020. Ready or not, here you are. I see you with all your still-unknown mountains and valleys. And I raise you, with gratitude.
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Do you have a word you’re choosing to focus on in 2020? I’d love to hear how it found you.
And if you haven’t already joined the One Word 365 community, please do!