four-minute friday: uncensored

Go. No preconceived ideas on what I'll write this time, McNiely. We'll take this one exactly as it comes.

Holy crow---By next Friday, you'll be in the same time-zone as me! I still won't have seen you (seriously?!), but at least we'll both be on the east coast of America. I've had July 31st in my brain as D-Day for months; I guess I need to reprogram it with August 8th. Get ready for the tightest hug and longest kiss of your life.

I love that I'm meeting you in DC. That makes our reunion seem so much more romantic and alluring. (No one needs to know we're going there for business.) I've always wanted to be able to say something as chic as "I'm meeting my husband in DC." And now I can. Yessss! Doesn't it sound so... so... like we're gonna have hot, wild sex all weekend? (Am I allowed to say that in the blogosphere?) It does kinda sound like that, doesn't it. You should try it out. Go 'head and say it. Although definitely say "wife" instead of "husband".

I'm ready to see your face, play with your hair, kiss your lips, and smack your butt. Among other things.

I just have one question: How are you feeling now about us staying in a host home the first night together after 11 weeks apart????

Done.

enlightenment

A while ago, I spent some time thinking about what it means to "just add light" to my life. All too often I get caught up focusing on all the things I need to change about myself. I get so bogged down in the murky waters of the "old" that I'm in the process of taking off, that it's hard to see the "new" that I'm supposed to be putting on. I think more about the lies that have made their nests in my heart than about the truth God says about me.

The parallel between physical and spiritual is there: To dispel darkness, all you must do is introduce light. I don't have to negotiate with darkness; I don't need to analyze just how dark it actually is, to come up with the best strategy to get rid of it. I simply add light, and darkness leaves.

Adding light takes intentionality and effort on my part. I need to turn my focus elsewhere, shift my gaze, keep the cross in my line of sight. The Christian walk isn't called a walk for nothing. I cannot passively grow in Christ; following is an action-packed verb.

But...

Sometimes I can do nothing except ask God to say to my heart, "Let there be light."

There are times when I have not the strength nor the wisdom to do anything but ask. I know what happened the first time God spoke those powerful words. I wonder what might happen if I invite Him to say them to my heart.

six-minute sunday: sick and tired

Go.

I slept for 33 of the last 36 hours. I can’t remember the last time I was this sick. So this is a little late, Hombre, but since I'm still sick, I figure I scored myself a few extra minutes to write this overdue Four-Minute Friday.

Leaving Florida was sad, although a bit muted by not feeling well. It had been an emotional and crazy week, and I was glad to be leaving. Yet at the same time, boarding that plane was like peeling back a new layer of grief.

I still can’t believe that within 24 hours of Gram’s passing, we were already sorting through her stuff, making piles of things to keep, donate, or throw away. I wish we didn’t need to do it so rushed; it felt like we’d dwindled her life down to trash bags. I know it was only because of the circumstances, but still…

I’m trying to forget the worst parts of that day, those moments, and only hold onto the beautiful ones. (It’s a hard task.) My prayers really were answered. I'm so glad I was in America and could be with Gram and my family. I know you and I talked a handful of times over the years about something like this happening; you knew I'd want to be with my family if it were at all possible. It was a priceless gift that I was able to be with Gram for her last few days.

I’d even asked people to pray with me that Gram would go when we were all with her so that she’d be “surrounded by our love and wrapped in His peace”. And that’s exactly what happened.

God was good to me. And to Gram. I can’t imagine that she’d wanted to go any other way.

I’m so grateful she was never hospitalized; she never suffered from any long illness. I’m glad we didn’t have to call the list of hospices we’d compiled that morning or convince Gram to use any of the “old age supplies” we’d just purchased. She was strong until the very end.

I miss her.

I miss you.

Done.

four-minute friday: anti-blogging

Go. This is my first post in a week. I was taking a bit of a hiatus, but was ready to post something again on Wednesday. And then, in an instant message chat, you had to go and challenge me to hold out until Friday. "It'll be a record," you said.

I think you really wanted me to wait so that my return post would be written to you (since I'm dedicating Four-Minute Fridays to you while we're apart). Either way, I sighed at your suggestion. And decided to take you up on it.

With you being known in internet-land as the Anti-Blogger, and then cheering my absence from the blogosphere for seven whole days, I wonder what hope my future in blogging really has.

You should try it. You might like it. You know what they say: The family that blogs together, stays together. Or something like that.

Someone sent me this picture of you from last week. It makes me smile still. You're so sexy, you know that?

Dang, I miss you. Oh---Nina Panina says hi!

Done.

four-minute friday: flag tees

Go.

Okay, so you know the $5 Old Navy flag tees that we've gotten every year since 1998? Yeah, I know you know them, since you have a shelf full of them in your closet.

I always have to think way ahead of time to order them online or send mom to the store for me, and then get them shipped out to Africa. But I always do it because... I don't really know why. It's more about the tradition and sentiment than it is about the shirts. But... I do it. And I love it. And you smile. And graciously wear the shirts. I don't really know how much you actually enjoy this tradition of ours, but you sport 'em well. I'm imagining that you're even wearing one right now in honor of the Fourth of July.

Well...

Umm...

I have to tell you something.

There will be no 2008 flag tees for us. GASP!

This year---my first time in America over this patriotic time in ages---I forgot all about it. I didn't order any online; I didn't buy some in any of the Old Navys I've had the privilege of walking by these past few months. Nope. I never thought of it at all.

Until yesterday.

A quick check online and at the nearby store brought a crushing blow. Sold out.

So... The tradition has ended. No more flag tees.

I hang my head in shame.

Done.