my storm

Right now I’m still in the middle of the storm at sea. Sometimes I forget Jesus’ promise of going to the other side. Sometimes it feels like my sleeping Savior has left me to get through this on my own. Sometimes He has to rebuke my lack of faith. Sometimes He brings momentary calm to the storm with His resounding, “Peace, be still.” Other times, He brings calm to my heart with those same words. Sometimes I curl up on His lap, figuring if the storm is “small” enough for Him to sleep through, why can’t I? Sometimes I yell at Him instead of the wind and waves. Sometimes I look around for peace, forgetting that the Prince of Peace is right next to me all along. Sometimes I find contentment, knowing He is with me in the worst storm of my life. Other times I just want Him to stop it all and let me off the boat.

I am often that person James describes as being tossed by the wind and waves because of unbelief. Which means I’m adding to my own storm. Ouch.

I want to believe even when I can’t see Him because my eyes are blinded by the driving rain. I want to trust even when I can’t hear Him because of the thunderous cracks of lightning hitting all around me. I want to stand firm even when everything is moving beneath my feet.

"Soaked, but hopeful." I can't wait to get there.

In the meantime, I want to remain steadfast in the storm.