i've had enough

I'm still camping out in the story of Elijah. Maybe because I see so much of myself in him. Not in his prophetic voice or powerful miracles, but in his crash-and-burn. Remember his showdown with the prophets of Baal? God showed up in a huge way, making it very obvious that He is the one true God and that Elijah is His. If ever Elijah was on a spiritual high, this was it.

And then he crashed and burned.

When Jezebel made threats against his life, Elijah forgot about the great victory God just brought him. He collapsed to the ground in despair, raised his eyes to the heavens, and shouted, "I have had enough, Lord. Take my life!"

Been there? I have. Plenty of times.

I can move from victory to defeat in an instant. It all rushes in and I feel like I just can't take anymore.

I gotta admit, I'm kind of relieved I'm not the only one with irrational mood swings, desperate prayers for God to take me, and the overwhelming sense of "I've had enough!"

At least I have this one thing in common with Elijah.

The story goes on and I'm intrigued by all that happens next, because it shows how he dealt with his funk. And I need to know how to deal with mine. [If you want to read through it later, it's in 1 Kings 19:1-13.]

Elijah slept. A lot. I know I need rest, although I often feel guilty over making that need a priority.

An angel provided bread and water for him. I'm taking stock of God's provision of those people, places, and things that refresh and revive me from the inside out. I need to surround myself with them more often than I do.

He slept, ate, and drank. Again. Lather, rinse, repeat. Just once isn't enough.

"Nourished by that meal, he walked forty days and nights, all the way to the mountain of God." Elijah was still in his funk, but he walked on. I need to simply keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when my heart says "I've had enough" with every single step.

"When he got there, he crawled into a cave and went to sleep." God knew I'd need to hear this again! Slowly getting the message...

He encountered the still, small voice of God. One by one a wind, earthquake, and fire ripped through the mountain. But God was not in them. "And after the fire came a gentle whisper..." Those quiet words were more powerful in Elijah's heart than any mighty prophecy God had spoken through him.

At the end of the day, God reaches through my funk and with His peaceful, gentle voice, reassures my heart that He is trustworthy.

He lovingly reminds me that He is in control. That His grace is sufficient. And that He gives strength to the weary.

His more-than-enough-ness makes up for my had-enough-ness.

Over and over again.