disappointed in jesus

I think we all, at some point in our faith journey, grow disappointed in Jesus. Of course we don't call it that.

But if we were being most honest, we would.

Because there are times when He doesn't show up like we expect Him to. He doesn't spare us from what we want Him to. He doesn't do what we think He should.

And ultimately it leaves our hearts disappointed.

John the Baptist found himself there.

And if Jesus' very own cousin—the one who leaped in the womb when unborn-Jesus was nearby and who, upon baptizing Jesus, heard God's own voice declare Him to be His Son—if John felt disappointed in Jesus, it seems fairly safe to assume we all will find ourselves there too.

When John the Baptist was in prison, he sent word from jail to ask Jesus if He was "the One". Now, John had seen and experienced an awful lot that had left him completely convinced that Jesus was in fact "the One". He had lived his whole life built on that premise, doing nothing more than point people towards Christ.

But now he finds himself in prison, where he knows he will likely die. And he's starting to have his doubts. Because this isn't how he anticipated the story unfolding... And he's no longer feeling convinced...

"Are you the one... or should we expect someone else?"

Jesus replied, "Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor."

I hear Him gently reminding John not to forget all he had seen and experienced. That He is still who John knew Him to be. No matter what.

And then Jesus added: "Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of Me.”

He heals the sick. Raises the dead. And breaks chains of captivity. But He wasn't rescuing John from prison. He wasn't going to spare him from being beheaded. He wasn't showing up in the ways that John not only hoped for, but also expected.

What I hear in those words is this:

Blessed are those who still trust Me even when I don't live up to their expectations.

He was acknowledging John's disappointment in Him, and asking him to trust Him still.

When life—and therefore God—doesn't pan out the way you'd hoped, wanted, dreamed, and believed... and you are left feeling disappointed in Jesus (even if you aren't ready to admit that's what you're feeling), you have a decision to make.

What will you do when God doesn't live up to your expectations? Will you still worship? Will you trust Him? Follow Him? Love Him?

I keep hearing His words: "Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of Me." And I feel so challenged.

Will we still trust that God is good even when He disappoints us?

how? or wow!

There are two kinds of people in the world: How? people and Wow! people. Typically we are bent one way or the other, although certainly we are all capable of both.

How? people are the figure-out-ers. They hear a great idea and immediately jump into the role of working out how to make it happen.

Wow! people are the encouragers. They hear a great idea and immediately respond with exhortation and encouragement.

Both are needed. And at different times in the ideation process, one is needed more than the other.

The How? questions will eventually be needed, but not always right away. Often ideas need to percolate a while before the logistics should be tackled. What may be needed initially are some Wows! to fan the flame and fuel the vision.

I learned this the hard way.

I'm a How girl. I quickly jump to the practical elements when I hear an innovative idea... How can we make this work? What will we need to do it? When could we feasibly get it done? What steps do we need to take to get there?

I ask questions, not to challenge but to strengthen and help.

But I realized that my Hows? can come across as deflating when I never intend them to. In all honesty, I know I crushed my ex-husband's heart many times by responding with How? when what he needed from me was a Wow!

Ugh.

So when I'm sharing an idea in my heart with someone, it may be best to define where I'm at in the process and what I actually need from them.

It may be helpful all the way around to clarify when I need a Wow! reaction and when I need a How? reaction. And when someone is trusting me with an idea of their own, it may be wise for me to ask right off the bat what they need in that moment.

I want to always be one who encourages and strengthens, with both Wows! and Hows?

I just need to get better at learning when each is most needed...

Are you a How? or Wow! person? How does it play out in your relationships?

when i fly

When I fly...

I touch the outside of the plane as I board.

I choose an aisle seat.

As soon as I sit down, I put my seat back just a tiny bit -- not enough to be caught, but enough that I feel convinced I've scored myself some extra room.

I keep my seatbelt as loose as possible.

I adjust the air-blower-thing to high, and angle it right at me.

I wear a sweater or zip-up for when the air-blower-thing inevitably makes me cold.

I always bring something to read and rarely ever read it.

I text my friend right before I have to shut my phone off. It's tradition. Last text before takeoff, first text after landing.

I turn my phone on as we're landing, so it is fully powered up by the time we're on the ground. (I know, I know... So I won't also tell you that I've been known to occasionally turn it on mid-flight...)

I drink ginger ale.

I never eat the peanuts. And I always wonder why they still give those things out, especially with so many people allergic...

I become completely anti-social. I'll smile and say hello, but that's where I'd prefer our interaction end. Sorry, neighbor.

Armrest down. Always down.

I try to avoid going to the bathroom on the plane, but if I do... I cover my ears when I flush. That sucker is loud! Heh. "Sucker".

I try to force myself to sleep if there's turbulence.

I am that girl whose head drops when she falls asleep, jarring myself back awake just enough to reposition and do it all over again.

I thank the flight crew on my way out.

I'm sure there's more, but I'm drawing a blank.

How about you? What do you do when you fly?

(men and) women of action

"A woman named Mukankusi lived in the Bugesera District with her three malnourished children. They didn’t know where their next meal would come from and lived without any shelter. Food for the Hungry began a program called 'kitchen gardens'. It helps impoverished women to feed their families and sell produce for income. A kitchen garden is ideal for dry regions because they are filled with kitchen wastes, like vegetables and other compost materials. They require very little maintenance and remain humid with less watering.

Mukankusi successfully started a kitchen garden and began selling her vegetables in the market. With her profits, she applied for a small business loan and bought her own house. Her three children now have permanent shelter and are no longer malnourished.

Mukankusi has become an empowered, self-sustaining businesswoman with the ability to provide for her family."

That story was recently shared with me by a friend who works for Food for the Hungry. Incredible, isn't it?

There is untapped, God-given potential in the lives of poverty-stricken women around the world... Potential that has the power to eradicate poverty and change the future for generations of women to come.

Food for the Hungry is doing an incredible work with impoverished women in some of the poorest regions. Through their Women of Action program, they help disadvantaged women in Bangladesh to discover their potential, restore their dignity, and transform their communities.

That is worth celebrating!

Just around the corner is International Women's Day.

March 8th is a day dedicated to celebrating the economic, political, and social achievements of women, past, present, and future. Women's Day is something we honored in South Africa, so even though it isn't a widely recognized holiday here in the States, it remains dear to my heart.

And I love what Food for the Hungry is doing to celebrate.

In honor of International Women's Day, they are hosting a 5K Walk in Phoenix to raise funds for Women of Action. They even have a generous donor who has committed to match the first $10,000 raised!

A 5K Walk to raise 10K that instantly becomes 20K... I love God's ways of multiplying our efforts!

Celebrate with us by...

• Participating in the 5K Walk. If you live anywhere near Phoenix, join on March 11th for the 5K. This is open to women and men!
• Sponsoring women in Bangladesh through Women of Action. Directly impact a family and community in dire need.
• Donating to the 5K Fundraiser Walk. Your donation will double in impact with the matching grant!
• Spreading the word. Use Twitter, Facebook, your blog, and your voice to let others know they can help.

Together, we can make a huge impact.

Would you share how you feel you can get involved? Also, I'd love to hear about a significant woman in your life & how she has impacted you.

60/366

It's Leap Year. And today, February 29th, feels like a bonus. It's an extra day,  and it's got me thinking about what I want to do with it.

I know every single day is a gift. Even Mondays. I know today is no more special than yesterday or tomorrow. But still it seems to be challenging me a little differently.

It's got me thinking more uniquely about the fact that what I've been given -- these 24 hours, these however-oh-so-many breaths, these moments -- are once in a lifetime.

I want to live today with purpose and intentionality. I want to see what's in front of me, hear what's between the words being said, and live from my heart. I want to give more than I get, focus on others more than myself, and choose the next wise thing.

I want to steward today -- day 60 of 366 -- as best I possibly can. And I want to steward every day that follows just as well...

Leap Year. February 29th. Let's do this thing right...

What will you do with the gift of today?