I grew up in a Christianity that didn't allow me to admit that. So for years I "had" all kinds of answers. But underneath them all was a shaky voice and a doubting heart and a lot of unverbalized questions...
And now?
Now I'm just allowing myself to embrace my questions more than I used to.
It's frustrating -- and maddening even, at times -- because I wish I had answers. I crave sureties.
But building a faith on pretend answers is no better than acknowledging I have none at all.
It's like trusting in sandcastles that disappear in the surf...
My only surety -- my only certainty -- is Christ.
And for everything else in between, it's okay if I have to shrug and say "I don't know."
It's hard to live in the tension of that shrug, but that's where I find myself. And though it seems to go against everything within me, I know that just has to be okay.
I'm thankful for a God who meets me in the question marks.
For He alone is the only true and definitive answer.
Period.
How hard is it for you to not have all the answers?