revolving door

The revolving door of ministry life has always been challenging for me. We constantly have people coming and going through our ministry. Missionary staff leave early sometimes; even if they stay full-term, it's just that: a term. National staff quit, move on, move away. Each year we have interns, and each year we have to say goodbye to our interns. I'm an introvert. And I take a long time to feel comfortable enough with someone to trust them with my heart. I also place high value on friendships and care deeply for people. The combination of all that makes the revolving door of my life that much harder.

I struggle to find the balance between guarding my heart and embracing the reality that we were hardwired for intimacy.

Yet 10 new interns just spun through that revolving door. And here I stand, needing to open my life, my heart, to them. (I sigh at that thought.) I look forward to knowing them all, and I long for the comfortability and familiarity I had with our previous group at the end of last year. It's just the process of getting to that point that is overwhelming to me.

My heart grows weary of the constant hellos and goodbyes.

Though it may take a while, and though it may even hurt, my heart will once again open. Slowly at first, and then like a flower bursting out of a bud, suddenly I'll find myself in a place I never thought I'd be.