the tension of the shrug

I've gotta be honest: I've got more questions than answers.

I grew up in a Christianity that didn't allow me to admit that. So for years I "had" all kinds of answers. But underneath them all was a shaky voice and a doubting heart and a lot of unverbalized questions...

And now?

Now I'm just allowing myself to embrace my questions more than I used to.

It's frustrating -- and maddening even, at times -- because I wish I had answers. I crave sureties.

But building a faith on pretend answers is no better than acknowledging I have none at all.

It's like trusting in sandcastles that disappear in the surf...

My only surety -- my only certainty -- is Christ.

And for everything else in between, it's okay if I have to shrug and say "I don't know."

It's hard to live in the tension of that shrug, but that's where I find myself. And though it seems to go against everything within me, I know that just has to be okay.

I'm thankful for a God who meets me in the question marks.

For He alone is the only true and definitive answer.


How hard is it for you to not have all the answers?