moodiness

The other day in a conversation with a friend about bad moods, I made the statement: Moodiness is manipulation. I've been mulling over that comment of mine, and have concluded that I believe it to be true.

I find myself quickly swayed by the moods of those around me. At times, I realize I'm waiting to determine someone's "vibe" so I know how to act, how to interact. And I've come to the conclusion that it isn't healthy. I should be me regardless of others. I shouldn't change myself based on others' actions or attitudes. But I so often do. So often.

It's manipulation, really.

I'm also more keenly aware of how often I use my moods to manipulate others. Most often, my bad moods are distorted expressions of my true emotions. They're dishonest representations of what I'm actually feeling or wanting. Dishonest? Yeah. Ouch.

Instead of saying that something's bothering me, I mope or sigh loudly, in the hopes that someone will ask if I'm OK. Rather than communicate that I'm not feeling well and need to take things slow, I just grumble and slouch during the busyness of my day. Instead of sharing that my heart is heavy or I'm feeling sad, I lash out in frustration and impatience.

It's manipulation, really.

And it's wrong.