loneliness

I realized something today. I have a hard time admitting I'm lonely. Considering how loneliness seems to have set up camp in my life, I should be able to talk about it more freely than I do. Sigh. Loneliness has been a companion of mine for a very long time. It was with me even before I lived an ocean away from friends and family. In high school, my closest friends were those I met on mission trips---which means they were spread out all over the country. Back in those pre-email days, I was quite proficient at writing letters and sending care packages. But even back then I didn't have an everyday friend to simply do life with.

So I sit here wondering what the big deal is now. Why's it weighing down my heart like it is?

Those closest to me are always the farthest away.

And I'm just tired of it.