God is good

I was raised to believe that blessings and healing and victory belong to those who believe. Which is a wonderful thought. But the flipside of that belief is that failure, sickness, and lack are signs of not believing enough. So while I was taught to instinctively respond to "God is good" with "All the time", it was understood that God's goodness is only reflected in the goodness of our own lives.

It's not in the pain or the difficulty or the challenges. For those, clearly, are signs of a wayward heart... a faltering faith... an unexposed sin.

Basically anything but blessing, success, and victory boiled down to me not being enough.

Not praying enough. Not believing enough. Not claiming the victory enough. Not speaking words of faith enough.

It was drilled into me that difficult and painful circumstances were never God's will for me. And if I found myself in the midst of them, then obviously I needed to change/fix/do something to get back in right-standing with God, so that things would turn around.

I think back now and I wonder how I processed all the stories I read in the Bible.

You know, stories like Stephen being killed because of his faith. And Joseph's decades of wrongful imprisonment. There's also Paul's beatings, jail sentences, and never-abating thorn in the flesh. John the Baptist, Jesus' own cousin, had his head chopped off. And let's not even talk about Job...

I don't know what I did with those stories that clearly flew in the face of the you-will-always-walk-in-blessings-if-you-have-enough-faith breed of Christianity I embraced.

Because the truth of the matter is this: There are a good many things in life that I simply can't believe my way out of.

The rain falls on the just and the unjust. Bad things happen to God-fearing people. Life isn't fair. And life is harder than anyone ever tells you it's gonna be.

A faith that only acknowledges the goodness of God when things are going great, isn't faith at all. It's nothing but a sandcastle mirage...

Faith is believing that God is good even when my life is anything but.

Faith is believing that God is good even when my world is caving in.

Even when the sickness isn't healed... When the pain gets worse instead of better... When my husband leaves me... When I lose everything...

Faith is looking at my world that's spiraling out of control and choosing to believe that the God of the universe is still in control.

God is good. And God is sovereign. And faith is believing both those truths at the same time.

Life is hard. This we all know.

But, still... God is sovereign, and God is good.

All the time.

No matter what.

Originally posted atDeeper Story. Read the comments there >

believe

Someone believed in me. And it gave me the courage to believe in myself. To put myself out there. To try something. To risk.

And that? That is a priceless gift.

Believe big in someone.

And make sure they know it. Down deep.

Help them see what you see in them, because they most likely can't see it themselves.

You never know what a difference it will make.

be present

I'm an extroverted introvert. But I'm still an introvert.

And this introvert? Is tired.

I just spent a couple days with 13,000 leaders at Catalyst in Atlanta. That's a whole lotta people time for someone like me.

But this was my 5th Catalyst experience. I love every minute of them. And this one was no exception.

Even though it leaves this introvert completely exhausted.

In fact, I took naps this time. Yes, I am that old. Or that... something. But both days at Catalyst, I found a way to slip away and take a nap.

On Friday, my friend Tracee and I cut out of a freezing cold session to warm up in the sun. In a hammock. And we fell asleep.

We found out later from a friend that eventually the session let out and thousands of people milled around us. And we didn't wake up... Even worse, hundreds of people lined up for a book signing right near our hammock. Literally, people lined both sides of us, waiting to get their books signed. And we slept through the entire thing.

We were cashed out!

So, um, if you were there... and took a picture of the crazy-hammock-sleeping girls... please let me know. And send me whatever awful pictures you took!

But seriously... naps and all, Catalyst was great.

As always, the hallway conversations were one of my favorite parts. I love the opportunities to connect with so many amazing people. The one-on-one and small group intteractions that just kind of erupt in hallways, on the lawn, over late-night drinks, at the Bloggers Meetup.... yeah... I love that.

The theme this year was Be Present. Such a good reminder for me in so many ways.

Remember my One Word?

Look?

Well, I haven't been looking as much as I should be...

All the challenges to be fully present were basically challenges to look.

To look around -- at what He's doing all around me all the time. To look up -- pressing in to Him as my only source of strength. To look in -- and not miss what He wants to do in me right this very moment. To look at those He's placed beside me -- to not miss the aspects of His heart that He shows me through His people.

Be present.

Look.

And... as needed...

Nap.

What does it mean to you to "be present"?

a living, breathing canvas

I don't even know how to find words right now. I honestly don't. I've left this blog abandoned because I simply don't know how to say everything that needs to be said. My beautiful friend Sara -- known so affectionately online as Gitzen Girl -- is dying. There is no easier way to say that. I wish there was...

Sara has been sick -- very sick -- for a very long time. And from the confines of her tiny condo in Iowa, where she's lived completely homebound for 3 years, she has changed my life.

I can't even begin to find words to explain THAT right now... so that will need to wait. But I've had the gift -- the sheer treasure -- of visiting with her twice. Of spending several weeks as her roommate. And that is a gift I will cherish always and always.

And now my beautiful Sara is in the final leg of her race. The finish line is in sight, and she is about to cross it. And even in dying -- just as she did her whole life -- she shows me Christ. She infuses me with courage and strength. And she teaches me how to love well and choose joy.

Choose joy.

It's been her life mantra. It has defined who she is and how she lives. Despite her pain. Despite the challenges. Despite her limitations. Choose joy. She has shown me what that truly means.

She has lived well and chosen joy right up to the end...

And the mark she has left on my life? I want it visible to the world.

I am going to get "choose joy" as a tattoo on my left forearm. In Sara's handwriting.

I want it as a visible, permanent reminder of who Sara is and how she lived. And how I want to live out the rest of my days.

Sara is known literally around the world for her beautiful painted canvases. They are works of art that reflect her steadfast faith and point our eyes Homeward.

And now her words, her art, will be painted on the canvas of ME. A living, breathing Gitzen Girl canvas...

Oh my heart...

I know many of you have been impacted by Sara, either in years of knowing her or even in just recently learning of her amazing story. Maybe you want to get inked as well.

Tam and I had my amazing friend Trevor at Cross & Crown put together some designs using Sara's own handwriting. (So. Frickin. Amazing.) He also designed some more block-font options that aren't as scripty... Maybe you'd like one of these as a permanent reminder to Choose Joy... Or maybe these will spark an idea in your mind of a unique design you want to run with.

I'd love to hear if you're gonna get a Choose Joy tattoo. And when you do, take pictures and blog/tweet about it so we can all celebrate Sara's life and legacy together.

We are also working on some other things we can do as a tribute to our Sara (like a custom line of jewelry), and I'll share details as soon as they come together.

What an amazing community of people who Sara loved so well!

Today... as you go about your day... please pray for Sara. Pray for her family and all those who love her so dearly. And remember to...

Choose joy.

Choose Joy - Gitz's Handwriting