something crazy

I was reading again tonight about Elijah and Elisha, and I can't shake this piece of the story: Elisha was plowing a field with some oxen when Elijah found him. He was hard at work, doing what he was trained (and skilled) to do. I imagine that this day looked pretty similar to so many days before it. Farming is monotonous but grueling work.

Then Elijah walked right across the field and wrapped his cloak around Elisha, symbolicly passing on his ministry anointing. And in that moment, Elisha made a decision.

He chose to leave behind the comfortable and familiar to obediently follow God's call.

He knew it wasn't an easy decision. He was choosing the hard.

He knew that there would be tough days when he'd long for the back-breaking labor of farming. He knew he'd be tempted to return to his old life. So he did something drastic. Something crazy.

He sacrificed his oxen.

Elisha broke apart his wooden plow, set it on fire, and cooked his cattle.

He didn't want turning back to even be an option, so he made a bonfire out of his former life.

He gave himself nothing to return to. No plan B. Nothing to "fall back on" except risky faith in a faithful God.

Reminds me of Peter.

When Jesus was killed, Peter's future turned into a giant question mark. He couldn't make sense of a crucified Messiah. So he went back to what he was doing before he'd started following Christ. He went back to fishing.

Reminds me of me.

When my faith wavers, when difficult turns to impossible, when I have no idea what God is up to... I'm tempted to turn back.

I'm inclined to go back to my old way of thinking, my former plans, my loosely-held hope. I once again long for the comfortable and familiar. I want to return to something I understand. Something I can "control".

So I need to do something drastic.

Something crazy.

I need to build a bonfire.

five-minute friday: 12 hours in nyc

Go.

Five minutes is definitely not enough time to tell you about my whirlwind trip to New York City last Friday with Tracee. But here are some highlights... I'mma type fast...

The moment my favorite skyline came into view, we both bust out singing "Only in New Yoooork..." And it became our theme song for the day.

I'd heard about this initiative going on that placed pianos all over the city "to bring music to the streets". We made it our mission to find one, and sure enough... We played on a random piano in the middle of Times Square!

We hit up FAO Schwartz because we just had to play on the BIG piano. (Our "Where's Waldo?" game on Twitter made it even more fun!) We ooooh'd and ahhhh'd at the Apple Store, and played Skee-Ball on an iPhone 4. (So random. And so funny.) The live camera feed on one of the ginormous screens in Times Square was a blast too. Trying to find ourselves up there felt like payback for the Where's Waldo game... But we eventually found us.

We took our time eating dinner at my favorite restaurant -- 2 1/2 hours! -- and savored every bite (and sip). Mmm! I love me some good Italian...

I got a long-overdue hug from my friend Natalie to end off an amazing day, and then Tracee and I cashed out on the bus ride back to DC. We were joyfully content from a day of laughing, talking, walking (lots of walking), and doing everything and nothing together.

It went by so fast. And was far too short. But it was the very best day I've had in a looooong time. What a gift!

"Only in New Yoooork..."

Done.

[album: http://www.gritandglory.com/wp-content/plugins/dm-albums/dm-albums.php?currdir=/wp-content/uploads/dm-albums/NYC/]

four-minute friday: nyc

Go. I've been sitting here trying to think of what I can four-minute about. And all I can think of is NYC. So I finally decided to go with that.

Because I'm going there today!

As a surprise gift, my sweet friend Tracee bought us bus tickets from DC to NYC for the day. I am soooooo excited!

Depending on how long you've been around The Grit, you may or may not know that I'm from New York. Long Island, to be exact. (Go Yankees!) And after 18 months back in the States from Africa, this will be my first visit back to NY. Thus, my outta-my-mind excitement.

Is it bad that in thinking through what I want to do with my less-than-twelve-hours in NYC, all I can think about is food?! Bagels... Pizza... My favorite Italian restaurant... A pretzel-cart pretzel... (Can you tell I like carbs!?) Mmmm.... My tummy will be full, that's for sure.

And so will my heart. All day I'll feel so loved by my friend Tracee who's arranged this whole wonderful gift.

I know I will. Because my heart already feels full.

Done.

I'mma tweet through this whole whirlwind adventure, so be sure to follow me on Twitter if you don't already.

fish and loaves

I've always loved the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000. It is packed full of nuggets for this heart of mine...

I'm challenged by the little boy who offered his meager lunch, confident that it would be worth something in Jesus' hands.

I’m encouraged that the disciples' lack of faith didn’t hinder God from doing something extraordinary.

I’m reminded that I’m only responsible for my response to the Lord’s promptings. I’m not responsible for actually making anything happen.

I’m thankful that Jesus didn’t feed the crowd just enough. He gave them “as much as they wanted”. What He offers me is always abundance.

I'm aware again that God doesn't waste a thing. While I don't know what Jesus did with the extras, there was definitely a purpose for them: "Gather the leftovers so nothing is wasted." He redeems even what appears to be a total waste.

When I’m willing to place my mere fish-and-loaves life into Jesus' hands, miracles happen... So today I choose to actively trust Him with the crumbs of just me...

five-minute friday: breathe

Go. My mind is swirling with the ever-present barrage of decisions to be made, things to be done, and thoughts to be thunk. The music playing in the background adds yet another layer to the cacophony, and I feel compelled to check my phone every time it dings. And it dings often.

It's all right there -- constantly flowing at / to / in me. I get overwhelmed by the enormity of everything. Not knowing where to start causes me to not start at all.

I haven't journaled out the things I've wanted to. I haven't written the heart-wrestling blog posts that are currently sitting in my drafts folder as only a sentence or two. I haven't finished the book I began reading four months ago. I haven't given myself time, space, and emotional reserve to process the weighty things in my heart. I haven't replied to all my emails, cleared my Google Reader, or gotten in touch with all the friends I'd love to connect with.

And all those haven'ts weigh on me as need to's any time I get a spare minute to myself.

But in that rare moment, all I want to do is drown that list out of my mind.

And just breathe.

Maybe, just maybe, that isn't bad. Maybe that isn't avoidance or procrastination.

Maybe it's my heart's way of reminding me that life is more about being than it is about doing.

Done.