Faith

four-minute friday: happenings

Go. I've been back in Africa for ten days. And while my days have been filled with all sorts of hard, there's also been a lot of really wonderful randomness.

Like staying up late and sleeping in long with my SweetFriend.

We've watched dozens of episodes of Ally McBeal, which means we have a whole list of new words that are now popping up in our vocabulary. Like snappish, bygones, disparaged, throes. They're fun. You should try them sometime.

I'd left behind a stash of American treats that are now pretty much all expired. I don't know why I even bother checking the date when I'm going to just shrug and eat it anyway. Here's to stale Wheat Thins, questionable salsa con queso, and surprisingly still-good cookies that expired a year and a half ago.

God's good to me and only our first few days here were freezing. I learned how to rock my fireplace, which isn't as easy as simply pushing a button to light the "fake" gas fire. I'm talking wood, newsprint, and matches --- Survivor-style. But today was sunny enough that I actually got away with just a short-sleeve shirt for a while. The fact that I'm wearing a fleece over it right now doesn't take away from the joy of being de-layered earlier.

Sheesh, these four minutes went by too quickly.

All that to say, even though being here is really hard... There is beauty in my ashes.

Done.

four-minute friday: love and loyalty

Go. She was walking down the hill while I was walking up it. The moment she realized it was me, she burst into tears. We hugged for a long time.

Later, at my kitchen table, we talked. I wanted to know what's new in her world and how her heart is. We both spoke; we both cried. She asked questions, she listened, she said beautiful things that my heart needed to hear. My friend overwhelmed me with her love and loyalty.

My mind keeps going back to those moments, replaying them over and over. I can't find words to convey how hard these days have been, and how much I needed those minutes of feeling completely grounded. Of feeling as though I have purpose.

My prayers have been laced with a mixture of emotions and extreme requests. Good thing He knows my heart.

I'm so thankful that you're talking to Him about me.

Mmmm... That, too, is love and loyalty.

Done.

little by little

My heart's been stuck for a while on my need to better grasp God's truth. I've been working hard to recognize my own lenses and replace them with the filter of His Word. I battle daily to see myself the way He sees me, instead of how others do or---worse---how I do. I am being intentional about exchanging the lies I believe for the truth of God, and choosing to live based on truth rather than reality. It's a process. A journey. And a lifelong one at that.

It's slow-going.

But I'm taking steps forward.

I find it hard to remember that baby steps are progress. But I know they are. I know that "little by little" is more than just okay.

At times, it's exactly what God wants from me.

my eyes need to adjust

Jesus tells me that when I abide in His Word, I will know the truth, and then I will be set free. Abiding is not a quick fix. It means dwelling. Living. Setting up camp. Being content to linger. It means staying there until I know the truth. I picture it to be like when I step out of a dark room into the bright sunshine. My eyes can't take it. I have to keep them closed a while. Then I can open them, just slightly at first, and peer out of squinted eyes with a hand providing some shade. It feels painful and undesirable, but then... my eyes adjust. I can move my hand away. I can open my eyes fully. And I can see clearly.

Similarly, I need my eyesight to adjust to His truth. And that can only come from abiding in His Word until I know the truth deep down inside.

What truth of God do you need to abide in until your eyes adjust?