go home seeing

Jesus smeared mud, moist with His spit, on the man's eyes. And the man, blind since birth, came home seeing. I want to have the same effect on people. I want my words, actions, and very life to send them on their way seeing Him more clearly.

Sometimes, though, I cloud, rather than clarify, people's vision. When I don't reflect Christ well, I make it harder for them to see Him.

I need to remember that it wasn't the mud that made the difference for the man born blind. It was Jesus' spit.

When what comes out of me matches what comes out of Him, only then will people go home seeing.

real v. true

One of the biggest things I've learned in recent months is this: Just because something is real, doesn't mean it's true.

When what is real---what's happening to me or around me---contradicts what is true---what God says about me or my circumstances---I have a decision to make. I need to choose on which I'm going to base my thoughts, decisions, and actions. How I respond in that moment reflects which I believe more, what's real or what's true .

More than I'd like to admit, my life shows that I believe in reality more than truth.

I'm working on changing that.

How does this play out in your own life?

i choose hard

I only pretend to be brave. I've been known to say that. A lot. But a friend helped me see how untrue that really is.

For as long as I can remember, I've desired to follow God courageously. While I've never been very self-assured or confident, I've often made decisions that fly in the face of all logic. I've chosen not to play it safe.

I've always known that God's called me to hard. I knew it when this suburban girl spent two months in rural Africa as a teenager and loved it. I knew it when my passion to return there seemed illogical to everyone else. I don't like extreme temperatures, bugs, or even the outdoors... and yet I wanted to live in Africa!? It didn't make sense; it still doesn't.

My own pastor told me that being a missionary was the worst thing I could do with my life. And yet, at 19, I up and moved to Africa. I've been told over and over again that I'm too young, not educated enough, lacking experience. But I've shrugged it off and just kept right on going.

I've chosen hard over safe.

And if that's not brave, I don't know what is.

I don't say that to pat myself on the back. I say it simply to acknowledge the truth that I've exhibited more courage than I ever realized.

I needed to discover that about myself. Because as difficult as this past season has been for me, this next one isn't going to be any easier. And seeing past courage more clearly helps steel my heart for what lies ahead.

Once again, I choose hard.

And even though I still don't feel brave, I'm gonna do it afraid.

And trust that He will be faithful to carry me through it.

Just like He always has.

four-minute friday: demon treadmills

Go. I'm afraid of treadmills.

No, really. I am.

I've been hanging out with Gym for several months now. I've run on the track, used the cross trainer, lifted weights, even taken Zumba classes. But I haven't even touched one of the treadmills. I barely even glance in their general direction. They're scary.

Stop sneering. It's a completely rational fear.

Because I know what can happen on a treadmill.

I've laughed at seen enough videos to know that in a fight against a treadmill, I would surely lose. Every time.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Then you should watch these clips and laugh learn your lesson. They're all short videos, but if you're in a real hurry at least watch this one. These five seconds could spare you serious bodily harm down the road.

[youtube]dqQGT8bZt5I[/youtube]

Treadmills are of the devil.

Just like moths.

Done.

i know it by heart

When I was young, I often said "I know that by heart." Phone numbers and time tables. Scripture verses and history facts. Capital cities. My friends' favorite things. The periodic table of elements. Songs. I knew a lot of things by heart. If I used the phrase today, it would speak less of facts memorized and more of a perceived sense of knowing. Sometimes I can't find words for what I know or how I know it or why I feel a certain way. It's beyond intuition. God's graced me with discernment.

Some things I just know by heart.

It can be bittersweet at times. When something seems painfully obvious to me and others don't see it, or when I just know what others deny to be true, it can feel like my discernment is a curse. A weight. But even when it's heavy, I am grateful for it.

I want my heart to be more in tune with Him tomorrow than it is today. I want to remain sensitive, soft, and open to Him. I want to hear His Spirit's whispers more clearly. I want to have even greater discernment.

So I've started praying the words of the Psalmist---

"I am Your servant; give me discernment that I may understand Your statutes."

Because there's a whole lot more I want to know by heart.