i know it by heart

When I was young, I often said "I know that by heart." Phone numbers and time tables. Scripture verses and history facts. Capital cities. My friends' favorite things. The periodic table of elements. Songs. I knew a lot of things by heart. If I used the phrase today, it would speak less of facts memorized and more of a perceived sense of knowing. Sometimes I can't find words for what I know or how I know it or why I feel a certain way. It's beyond intuition. God's graced me with discernment.

Some things I just know by heart.

It can be bittersweet at times. When something seems painfully obvious to me and others don't see it, or when I just know what others deny to be true, it can feel like my discernment is a curse. A weight. But even when it's heavy, I am grateful for it.

I want my heart to be more in tune with Him tomorrow than it is today. I want to remain sensitive, soft, and open to Him. I want to hear His Spirit's whispers more clearly. I want to have even greater discernment.

So I've started praying the words of the Psalmist---

"I am Your servant; give me discernment that I may understand Your statutes."

Because there's a whole lot more I want to know by heart.