thoughts from my dusty prayer closet

Praying has never been easy for me. Not something you'd ever expect to hear from a missionary, I know. But it's the truth. Praying is sometimes usually really hard.

So I don't pray nearly as much as I "should". Not as much as I want to, even. Or maybe not as much as I want to want to would be more accurate.

I get distracted really easily.

Midway through mentally writing my Target list, I'll remember that I'd actually been praying.

Oh. Yeah.

So I shift back to prayer and, sure enough, my mind begins wandering again. Even if it starts with thoughts of the person or situation I'm praying for, my brain very quickly spiderwebs into countless random things. Until I remember---again!---that I was in the middle of praying.

Oh. Yeah.

Take 29.

I also can't spend hours in prayer. I just can't.

Many people can. And do. And actually love it. But not me. I'm simply not wired that way.

I'm more inclined to talk to God in bite-size conversations throughout the day than in one long official "prayer time". Maybe it's because I'm more do-er than be-er, more Martha than Mary. Maybe it's because I can't sit in one place very long. Or because I don't feel like I have that much to say. Or because I struggle with structure. Or because of that whole "easily distracted" thing.

Maybe it's a combination of all the above. And then some.

Whatever the reason(s), I don't often pray for any great length of time.

But none of these "challenges" give me license not to pray.

They don't let me off the hook from growing in this area.

I still need to spend more time praying than I currently do. I need to be intentional to stay focused in prayer. I need to ask, seek, and knock. I need to give thanks and make my requests known.

I still need to pour my heart out like water before the Lord. I just no longer need that to look like some Wonderbread version of a quality prayer life.

I simply need it to look like me connecting with Him.

I'm gonna unpack more thoughts on prayer tomorrow. In the meantime, I'd love to hear what prayer (honestly) looks like for you.