the death of dreams

I don't understand why we’re allowed to dream dreams that will never be. But we are.

And we do.

I've heard it said---and have even said it myself---that God wouldn't give us passions and dreams, and then not fulfill them. I used to swallow that whole, but I don't really believe it to be true any more.

Once you factor in free will, sin, and natural consequences, there is no way every hope, dream, and longing can be fulfilled.

Even when we do everything "right", life simply isn't fair. For reasons we may never understand this side of heaven, not every prayer is answered and not every dream comes to pass.

Consider a little league baseball tournament where boys on both teams dream of winning the championship.

You dream of a promotion at work. So do three co-workers who are competing with you for the position.

I dreamed of a restored marriage, while my husband dreamed of a new life with another woman.

It is simply not possible for every dream to come true.

I've had to come to terms with that truth in my life. It sucks. And it hurts. And I'm not totally sure what to do with it.

All my deferred hope has left my heart sick.

I miss those dreams that will never be. I miss the future that is no longer possible. I miss what could be and should be, but won't be.

I have to surrender those to God, trusting that even when it doesn't seem like it, He has my highest good and His maximum glory in mind.

I'm wrestling with the balance between surrender and hope.

I want to live surrendered---fully embracing what I'm given, rather than longing for what I'm not.

And I want to live with hope---faithfully trusting God's promises and believing Him for what I cannot see.

But how do I do both at the same time?

How do I hope while embracing what I'm given?