my broken cisterns

My sin takes on a variety of shapes, but all of it basically boils down to two things... the same two things the people of Israel continually struggled with--- "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken Me, the spring of Living Water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water."

I sin by not trusting God.

I forsake Him. I deny not only His power, but His heart. I turn away, shift my gaze, seek other things. I make an after-thought of the One who should be my first priority. I question if He really has my good in mind. I lose sight of who He is by focusing on what He can do for me (or on what He doesn't seem to be doing for me). I try to find life apart from Him.

I sin by trusting myself instead.

I dig my own wells, even though they are insufficient and faulty. I live as though I can do a better job of protecting my heart, fixing my situation, and meeting my needs than God can. I surrender, but take it back again. I attempt to control which way I should go and how quickly I should get there. I take matters into my own hands. I try to find life on my own.

When I dig my own wells, I always come up thirsty.

The water keeps rushing out through the cracked walls, leaving me dry and empty.

The bitter taste of self-sufficiency doesn't satisfy, yet I'm left craving more. I drink and drink and drink, but feel more parched with each sip.

He alone is the spring of Living Water. And trying to save up for a dry day is just my own feeble attempt to work things out on my own.

It's time to abandon my broken cisterns and drink deeply from the life-giving spring of His heart...

He is more than enough for me.