hustling for worthiness

“As I conducted my research, I realized that only one thing separated the men and women who felt a deep sense of love and belonging from the people who seem to be struggling for it. That one thing is the belief in their worthiness.

It’s as simple and complicated as this: If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging.

When we can let go of what other people think and own our story, we gain access to our worthiness—the feeling that we are enough just as we are and that we are worthy of love and belonging. When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving.”

-Brené Brown


11 Responses to “hustling for worthiness”
  1. Lorie says:

    I was reading along thinking, wow this sounds like something Brene Brown would say, then I get to the credit at the bottom. :) I love what she has to say.
    When we moved to India back in the fall our daughter came with us for the first 6 weeks. While chatting one night she mentioned being surprised that people missed her and couldn’t wait for her return so they can spend time together. She confessed that she always assumed people didn’t think about her when she wasn’t around. That’s what she said… this is what I heard, “I’m not worth remembering.” She then asked me if I struggle with feeling that way. I thought for a second then said, “Nope. I always assume people miss me and want to spend time with me.” I laughed because it did seem strange to admit such a thing, but it was the truth, at least the truth that particular day. I went on to say that I do understand how she feels because there was a time when I did struggle with this very thing, unworthiness, a lot. Pretty much from age 5-30. What changed me was knowing, scratch that, BELIEVING, that I was loved completely and extravagently by God. This belief is not something I can force on a her, though I wish I could, it has to be written on her heart by the hands of God, and because He loves her I know He will.

    • I ordered all of Brene Brown’s books for my year of focusing on ENOUGH (my One Word 365)… I’m only halfway through the first one and it’s already rocking my world. She is amazing.

      Love hearing how passionate you are about instilling in your daughter that deep belief that she is loved and valuable. That’s going to go a long way…

  2. Missy June says:

    SO well-spoken! I spent so much of my life distancing from what I didn’t view as perfect in my life. The freedom to embrace the junk and the process, learning to be enough is a fulfilling journey. Often I need reminders and this is a great one today, not to return to the bondage of trying to be what I am not.

  3. Darius says:

    I know one thing for a fact (from experience) you can’t love a person who does not love themselves or in context with what you shared here, who does not think they are someone worthy of love.

    You can love them or love can flow from you, but it will never reach them because they don’t trust or believe in it. Who you see them as and who they see themselves as is different. So they are convinced that either they have you fooled for the moment, but one day you’ll see who they are and run screaming, or they feel you’re being insincere and so they wait to catch you at game.

  4. Morgan says:

    Yea! You found Brene! This makes me happy because her work helps me so much in my work of loving myself and others. The worthiness piece is hard when you’ve been rejected by the person who knows you the most intimately. But at some point, you gotta get your mojo back. This book has helped me do that.
    I also recommend having a friend read her. That way you both speak “shame”, “courage”, and “vulnerability.”

  5. Sara

    Oh my goodness. This is good stuff!!!! I often times find myself trying to conceal divorce bc it makes me feel “unworthy” and “less than.” But then I’m reminded that God is God and THIS is MY story. And I fully expect Him to BLOW UP the pain, the shame, and the anger into something amazing for HIS glory! #thisismystory #thisismysong

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