coffee talk: friendships

I know there are seasons in friendships. I get that there’s a natural, healthy ebb and flow in relationships. But sometimes things just seem to change.

I’m not talking about a fight. Or a falling out. Sometimes you just sense a shift… something’s different…

So, I’m wondering…

Do you initiate a conversation about it? Or do you wait to see if the other person brings it up?

Does it depend on who it is?  How so?

Or do you just ride the whole thing out and silently let that chapter of  your friendship come to an end?

How do you handle subtle changes in relationships?

Tawk amongst ya-selves.

coffee talk: golden rule

Doing unto others as you’d want them to do unto you is the best way to live.


It can also create the expectation that others will eventually return the favor and start doing for you as you do for them, and then bring disappointment when they don’t.

How do you live in the midst of that tension?

Talk amongst ya-selves.

coffee talk: authenticity & faith

coffee talk 3As I wrestle with the risk of being more authentic, I’m struggling to find the line between authenticity and faith.

I grew up in churches filled with happy, plastic Christians.

They answer “How are you?” with “I’m blessed!”

They don’t admit to being sick even when they are, saying instead that they are “healed in Jesus’ Name!”

And though I can’t judge their hearts, it always seems more fake than faith.

It seems like denial.

And hypocrisy.

The implication is that if things aren’t going well with you, it’s because your faith just isn’t strong enough.

And that’s crap.

But things can get out of balance the other way as well.

Under the banner of authenticity, a lot of people are just plain negative.

They complain. A lot.

They’re always responding to “How are you?” with far too much information. They let it all hang out, even at times when they “shouldn’t”.

And they just chalk it up to being real.

So how do we balance faith and authenticity?

When is it time to be honest about where you’re at and when is it time to speak words of faith?

Talk amongst yourselves.

coffee talk: wedding protocol

coffee talkI’ll be in Sacramento next weekend for my friend’s wedding. (Holla if you’re in the neighborhood!)

Here’s the thing: This will be the first American wedding I’ve ever attended. Crazy, right? Living an ocean away means I’ve missed every friend’s wedding for the past 11 years. (Occupational hazard of being a missionary, I guess.)

So I’m very grateful I can be there for April’s special day. And it’s doubly-special because April was an intern with our ministry. That humbles me and makes me proud all at the same time. It also makes me feel old, but let’s not think about that.

Since I’ve never been to a wedding here before, I don’t know—well, anything. And I don’t think African wedding protocol applies!

So help a girl out. What do I need to know? Do? Get? Wear? Pass along anything you can think of.

Oh—and talk amongst yourselves.

coffee talk: safety

coffee talk 3

What makes you feel safe with someone?

coffee talk: betting the farm


What’s a cause, an idea, an anything that you’d risk everything for?

Talk amongst yourselves.

coffee talk: exchanges

“They exchanged the truth of God for a lie…”

And you know what? So have I.

  • I’ve exchanged His truth that I’m loved freely for the lie that I need to earn it.
  • I’ve exchanged His truth that He’ll provide for the lie that I need to take care of myself.
  • I’ve exchanged His truth that I’m free for the lie that I’m still in chains.
  • I’ve exchanged His truth that He uses broken vessels for the lie that He’ll only use me when I dot-dot-dot.
  • I’ve exchanged His truth that I was made in His image for the lie that who I am just isn’t enough.

What would you add to the list?

And how do we exchange them back?

coffee talk: blogging


True or False?

ht: copyblogger

coffee talk: sock etiquette

Here’s the deal: I don’t know sock etiquette.

So help a sister out: What socks do you wear when?

Break it down nice and simple for me please.

coffee talk: jesus’ family tree

I’ve got a theology question.

Now don’t run away because you don’t feel qualified to talk theology. I’m not looking for expert advice. I’m looking for honest thoughts. And I know you have those to give me. So I hope you will.

The New Testament starts out with the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1.

I’ve heard that referred to countless times to show the legacy of those in Jesus’ ancestry: Abraham’s great faith, David’s man-after-God’s-own-heart-ness, Solomon’s wisdom. I’ve also heard it used to show the unlikely characters that God used in Jesus’ family tree, like Rahab the prostitute and Bathsheba the adulterer.

I love all that.

But this is where I get hung up: The genealogy ends with “…Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.”

That’s Joseph’s family tree. And Joseph, while Jesus’ earthly dad, wasn’t His biological father. Jesus comes from Mary’s bloodline, but not from Joseph’s.

So how can Joseph’s ancestors be listed as Jesus’ family tree?

Any thoughts?

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