i am the great wizard
I’ve received some great submissions for the Make Me Laugh video contest. (I’m smiling just typing that out, thinking about what some of you did!) And I’ve decided to extend the deadline to next Monday. Because a few of you let me know that circumstances interfered with getting your videos made on time. And really, because, well, I’d rather get in as many laughs as I can.
So if you wish you’d made a video but didn’t, now’s your chance. If the thought to make one never even crossed your mind, let it cross now: Send me some funny! Don’t make me beg.
And if you’re stubbornly stickin’ to the idea that you’re just not humorous, then at least send me a hello. I love seeing your faces and hearing your voices.
(Need a refresher on the rules of the contest? Go here.)
In other news… You can order just about anything these days.
Could I please get an order of “larger” breasts? I know it’s not on the menu but I thought maybe it was a part of the chef’s special.
Can’t hurt to ask.
maybe it’s like the “soup of the day”. come back on friday.
I did. Beg, I mean. But he said “NO”. Hubs does this impression from The Incredibles where he pretends to be a old superhero putting his belt on. Hilarious. He decided it was strictly for home entertainment. boo.
@Gitz – glory – please, you’re welcome to have mine. Let’s swap orders!
your hubs’ routine sounds hilarious! boo is right!
Aaaahhhhhhhhh! The suspense is killing me! :-)
Umm…Well, much as I’d like to–heck, I’d LOVE to–I have no official comment on the photograph of the menu.
Ah-HEM !!!
Oh. Wait. Did I just say, “I LOVE the menu”…?
MOVING ON…I think I’ll try to come up with something to make you laugh.
(Assuming I haven’t already. Heh.)
Ah yes, I’d love to have some health breasts, thank you!
Maybe I am just dense… but I don’t get it. Why is your post titled: “i am the great wizard”?
ha! good question, gigi!
i was telling a friend that i wished i could extend the date because of a handful of people that had written about their dilemmas of not being able to get it done on time. “you’re the great wizard. you have the power to change the date.” my sheepish reply: “oh yeah.”
I could do a video on my phone but I have no clue of how to upload it! :(
I love the menu. I’m good…I’ll take a smaller order please!
I need me some Plump, Firm, Juicy Breasts!! Got any of those on the menu??
No adjustment to breast even with gain or lose.
Do LOVE Cordon Bleu!!
Are you Stateside in February??
Could I donate to the health breasts? That might cut the cost of the breast lift for me in the future. ;-) HAHA!!
Extending the deadline you say? *raises eyebrows*
On that note, the best quote I’ve heard from any TV show lately was from the food network… “Breasts are tender. You don’t have to beat ‘em up.”
;-)
yes please dont beat the breasts!!
@Louise: haha! Thanks for the offer! A friend of mine had implants and regrets it like crazy… I’m probably better off sticking with my “nearly A”
Padding is my friend…
Trust me….
Having boobs is no fun either!! :)
no i have to object!! i used to have nice 34D’s before i got pregnant, during nursing they went up to like 38D and now after weening and loosing 40 lbs i now have very floppy 34B’s (remember, think deflated balloons!).
BIG IS BETTER!! but ALWAYS IN MODERATION!
my nearly A’s are afraid to enter the juicy breast conversation!
WOO HOO!!!
It is ON!
Okay, ya’ll are just C.R.A.C.K.I.N.G. me up … how’s this for a “healthy breast” … I breast fed two little peeps for a little over a year each and am left with saggy A’s … and I, like Gitz, am great friends with padding! My sister, however, who breast-fed her two kids for only 3 weeks each went from a B+ to a D that stayed … where is the justice?! Ha-Ha-Ha!
i’m sitting by myself at chick-fil-a using their wireless and i just laughed out loud.
i am that person…
I’m with Heidi…. bigger isn’t always better!
Before kids I was perky enough to go braless and it looked GOOD. Now, I would be arrested for assault with deadly weapons just for walking. For reals.
I’m scared to find out what my 40DD nursing boobs have now turned into. :SHOCK: I would love me some B’s! haha!
Let me clarify….
I would love some NON SAGGING B’s. ;-) yes I would. haha!
HA!! I love that Nor is the only guy to have commented on this thread! HAHA!!
vajayjay to breasts! awesome!! i mean i’ve heard that just a handfull is just enough.
Walking in on all these girly talk about breast all I can say is that my only preference is that there is a warm heart beating behind them.
Looking at the menu I wouldn’t mind seeing a pair from each cup size.
Alece, in the Thrive Africa review I saw pictures of you in a Basotho blanket/cape. You do look very wizardly. Has the local “witch doctor”, if they have one, given you any tips on magic spells?
you girls sure know how to always bring this down to chinatown. i love it!
ed — way to rough the waters with a comment. “i wouldn’t mind seeing a pair from each cup size” about made my eyes pop out!
I’m with gitz. I’d like an order of “larger breasts” as well.
Sheesh.
Does my unedited video count? That’s all I got.
Unless the Spirit moves.
” i mean i
I love that Ed joined in on the fun! :D
haahah brandy you have made me laugh through out this post!
I’ve never seen so many breasts in my life. Seriously! Tracee, I went to your blog thinking I would find tons of funny and slightly crude stuff there….and dang if you weren’t all serious and stuff!!! haha! heehee Totally cracks me up!
here
HOLLA!
I GUESS I could pass on making my grocery list to live it up here! ;-) heehee
where’s chica?
I can stay up late.. I’m not going to work.
food schmood.
Maybe she’s lurking on her own blog? ;-)
THERE SHE IS!
Hey now! My grocery lists are very detailed and even categorized!
why?
WHA??? color coded spreadsheet?
so Jake can figure his way around the grocery store. hahaha!
It also saves time. Just a smidge. ;-)
you make the list and he shops?
Color coded spreadsheets are more Cindy’s style. haha!
lucky
Most of the time yes (him shopping) b/c he can stick to a list better than me….and he spends less EVERY TIME. I’m HORRIBLE at that part. I’m such an impulse shopper it’s ridiculous. Plus I LOVE buying food. It’s weird.
i never shop w lists
wow. that’s incredible to me. (that he does the real big detailed grocery shopping…)
no lists, heidi?! i’d forget everything i needed!
I am going tomorrow though b/c I want it done and I don’t have anything on the menu for tomorrow night….so we NEED food.
And I might want to get out of the house.
been a rough few days, eh bran?
Heidi, I HATE making the list so detailed…. but when he goes I HAVE to. When I go I just jot down a few things I need for recipes and get the rest that I know is in my head….. but for him it has to be DE.TAILED.
eh….. I just HATE this schedule Jake is on. makes things tense around here.
Well sometimes I guess.
But I am that lady that stands in the middle and looks at the hundreds of sodas and never picks out one.
just stands there
I used HATE in caps two comments in a row. GEEZE! I might need a drink!
bran – what schedule?
heidi – i’ve been known to do that, too. HA!
HEIDI! That image makes me laugh. That is SO ME. Although I always grab diet pepsi and then stare at the rest and think “do I feel adventurous today?” haha
bran – get yourself a drink. we should all have a “cups up” moment together.
He works 10:30pm to 7am. He comes home and goes to bed and sleeps until about 4 or 5, eats dinner, and then falls asleep on the couch again. And he is a total bear to EVERYONE. It sucks. And makes my job harder. He will be on this rotation for several months…..that is what “they” are saying anyway.
Al, I had a drink earlier actually….several hours ago! Pina Colada!
he has to work those hours for several months?! oh my gosh, that’s killer.
Oh Heidiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
time for round 2.
yep. He’s been on it since November, then was off of it over Christmas for two weeks (which was awesome!) but now is back on it. It’s awful. And he has to keep to it on the weekends too or else it jacks him up….so weekends are pretty lame now.
round 2…haha! I think my Celexa would not work well on 2 rounds. ;-)
HEIDI!?!?!?!
where did she GO?!?!
oh i am so sorry, bran – that sucks.
if i were you, i’d feel so lonely. and like i was shouldering all the kiddos and house stuff alone…
eh…. what can you do? ;-) I do wish though he was on this rotation in the summer….then we could get out of the house so he could sleep better and he’d be able to at least SEE daylight.
What’s up there? ;-)
oh it looks like i missed out on some fun talk, shoot!!!
oh you guys are still on???
yeah – i didn’t think about that. winter would make it even harder on him. and you…
yay! faith made it!
hi beautiful!
Oh I’m totally doing it alone. It’s as if he isn’t even here but when he IS here, he’s hard to handle. This week has consisted of a few blows. I’m having to approach him like a child. It’s annoying. I’m looking forward to the weekend….we are HOPEFULLY going to go out WITHOUT kids for the first time since AUGUST.
HEIDI?!
Im back… My laptop lost its connections
Faith is here….let the good times roll! haha!!
hi girls!! yup im still up…
(heidi texted and said she’ll be right back)
wow – that will be great w/o kiddos this weekend. who’s gonna take ‘em?
Heidi, I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS! Shame!
I’m not sure who’s taking them yet….but someone dang it! I’m a desperate woman!
i would if i could. peanut, too.
i love that bran says shame!! you have to go to africa girl!
Oh I would LOVE IT if you could! I wouldn’t worry!
see! i AM the powerful wizard of oz!
Alece rubbed off on me…. what can I say? haha!
Okay I’m caught up.
Yeah Heidi!
Yes Alece your powers are magical! ;-)
faith – do you still say “shame”?
i say oh my cow All the time now and fadtasmic
fadtasmic or fanDAMNtastic? haha!!
i love it!!!
oh there is way too much talk, i will have to read it tomorrow.
oops my mis spell.
i alse say red cup too. yes she is the wizard of speech
Awww c’mon Faith! You can doooo iiiiiiiiit!
It’s all boob talk anyway. ha!
nope alece i dropped the shame. no shame here girls!!
just chime in now, faith. we have all just been rambling.
what’s a word or phrase you guys all say a lot?
yeah no red cup for me. That would require that I actually leave my house to GET a red cup, and then that would mean a 15 mile drive to the place WITH the red cup….. so…no red cups here.
Crap.
I crap a lot.
Or rather, I SAY crap A LOT.
sad times, bran. you’ve been stuck indoors for way too long, haven’t you!?
i cant get sucked in too much im on the phone!! aaahh multitasking!
i DON’T crap a lot. that’s one of my problems! ha.
faith – you are cracking me up!
and I say “what the heck” and “what the?!” all the time apparently b/c Dylan has picked it up….. and hasn’t let it go.
i do the “what the?!” thing, too.
i didnt even say anything funny, have you been drinking?? haha
(so you gonna make me a video, girl?!?!)
i crap
You don’t crap? haha! Are you drinking your coffee??? “coffee makes me poop” heehee
Faith….I do that all the time and it makes my head crazy! I always end up saying “huh what? say that again I missed it” haha
who you talking to on the phone faith?
huh?
no…
you do it
heidi — “i crap” ha ha ha!
well im doing that a lot too bran!
heidi, I love that you crap. Crap is good. HAHAHA
Alece, the video I had in mind I need Jake’s cooperation for….and I’m HOPING to get him nice and buzzed this weekend so he will do it. ;-) That should be a hint for you right there. haha!
were you reading, bran, way back when i put up that “coffee makes me poop” picture on my blog?
my friend in fl
coffee is my prozac.
and my Pepsi (not Coke) Is my upper.
A FEW GOOD MEN!!!!!!!!!
Al, I say “what the crap” a lot too. Combines both of my phrases. haha!
Hey when you are over 40, you are excited if you crap!!
faith – tell her we all say hi! ha.
heidi – really!?!?!
heidi – the crap comment. too funny. i’m 30 and i get excited when i go. i’m always announcing it to somebody. ha.
hhaha
im going to try my mini razors tomorrow, any tips?
Yes I WAS reading then and I laughed so hard. I love that picture!
Heidi…YES! PEPSI!! NO COKE!!!
A Few Good Men it be!
Girls I have a confession….I’m also a compulsive shitter. “ah shit!”
Honestly… Coffee mellows me. It’s 10:14 here and I am drinking a cup of coffee.
If I go to the fridge and pull out a pepsi, I wouldn’t sleep for hours.
Seriously?! The crapping wanes as you age? WHAT THE CRAP!!!
bran… alece likes coke!!
brandy – you just cracked me UP! holy crow!!!
Yeah… sex and crapping changes after you get over 40!!
oh girls what did i walk into??? im knee deep in shit over here, or so it seems!
Heidi, I love you even more….I am the SAME WAY with coffee vs pepsi. Drinking hot coffee in the morning makes me sleepy. I have to drink about 3 cups of it before it even perks me up at all. Pepsi on the other hand….watch out!
Alece! *gasp* you drink coke?
Actually Heidi, I drink it when I have to….but PREFER Pepsi. DIET PEPSI to be exact.
bran are we allowed to say the s word on here? hehe
wait wait wait – i don’t really DRINK coke. but if i were to drink a carbonated cola beverage (HA), i’d pick coke over pepsi. sorry girls.
and good lord, y’all know how to take things south quick.
Why drink diet?
It has the word die in it
We are knee deep in shit and Heidi just took it to the bumpin uglies topic! hahaha!!!
what’s hugaboochin got to do with bowel movements?
who bumpin?
Heidi that is HILARIOUS!!!
It’s a long story as to why I drink diet now…. but since I switched to it several years ago I can no longer stand the taste of regular. It makes me cringe. I hate it. HAS TO BE DIET or else I can’t drink it.
my old man is crappin for his…
for his…. boochin???
Heidi, have you not heard the expression “bumpin uglies?” heehee
Heidi said huggaboochin and poopin change after 40. So they are similar in that regard. HA!
huggaboochin…This summer was so awesome.
I miss cheech and chong.. Don’t you Bran?
i think i know what you’re saying — but man that sounds hilariously funny heidi!!!
summer was awesome? was there lots of boochin? heehee (I know what you are really referring to though *wink*)
(and this feels like old times… i love it!)
YES!!! Cheech and Chong afforded us many a laugh!
I still bump I think and I know I crap.
I huggawhatever too
It is! I love it too! See, stateside rocks! ;-) heehee
huggawhatever!!!
I WISH I WISH YOU COULD SEE ME LAUGHING HEIDI!!!
HAHAHHAHAHHA!!!
(faith’s missin’ the best part!)
what are quick hugs called?
I KNOW! FAITH!!!
i have no clue, bran… watcha got?!
huggawhatever.. Just imagine two overage people with the sags.
huggawhatever!!
oh no I was just wondering what quick “hugs” were called. haha!
Taps? is that where the expression “tappin that…” came from?
heehee
ha ha ha ha!
people with the sags…… omgosh!!!
huggawhatever is also what takes place when you’re pregnant by the way. ;-) HA!
i’ve never heard that before. i live in the bush, remember.
you live in the bush?
should we send you those mini razors?
I thought it came from tapping from a well?
you’ve never heard “tappin that…. *blank*” ????
Okay apparently neither of you have heard it and Jake is extremely dirty. hahaha!!!
We are excellent tap dancers.
bush – razors. ha!
seriously – never heard it.
I’m watching The Rookie and I’m not ashamed to say Dennis Quad is HOTT.
tappin’ that WHA?!?!
im old and alece lives in the bush. give us another one?
he’s hot kind of… little old?
ummmm, I’m out! I’m not THAT cool. haha
I think I like old dudes. haha
don’t ask my opinion on that.
(i’ll be back)
well this is a good time for me to call it quits anyway…..it’s 1:30 and I’ve got kids that wake up EARLY! I’m beat girls!! This was SO MUCH FUN THOUGH!!! I’ve missed this!! *sniff*
I smiled so much tonight! It was good for my heart. :D
love you girls. so much!
Love you Bran.. I have a big event going on too.
Soon… NOT SIX MONTHS
Love you!!!
I need to work on my blog!!
thanks, ladies. you girls are good for my heart.
Ah, thanks for explaining the title. I concur; you are the great wizard. Good for you being assertive.
:-)
I read through these again and man oh man am I laughing at our antics! heehee
I love us! ;-)
my internet cut out!!! thats why i went missing!! I did miss out on some really fun talk, you girls are the best!!
Alece – I’m really worried about the shortage of comments here.
Can my video be the one I’m hoping to make with Vanity this weekend?
absolutely!
Laughing out loud!!! I seriously almost missed those ‘health breasts.’ I read the first couple, then thought that maybe it was the last thing that had the tag that was the point … and it wasn’t … and I was momentarily confused (this all happened in a couple of seconds) … and then I saw it. Healthy Breasts Ahhahahahahaha!!!! Too funny!