eight: years and counting
Eight years ago I married the man of my dreams. I couldn’t believe my luck—cause you know I believe in that sort of thing—I found a man of God who loves me and loves the people of Africa. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Our marriage has never been easy. I blame that on the fact that we work alongside each other in ministry every day and are from completely different cultures. And because I’m not the easiest person to live with.
Our marriage has always taken work, but so does everything else that I love. Every passion I have takes effort. My marriage is no exception.
And it’s worth every ounce of relational sweat.
Right now, Niel and I need to work extra hard. For reasons that are unnecessary to share, we’re in a place of needing to dig our heels in deep, and fight. Not each other, but together. For our marriage. And we’re both committed to doing whatever it takes. Whatever it takes.
We looked each other in the eyes and committed to put our marriage first.
So brave.. so REAL.. so YOU..
(Love you-praying so much)
This post is inspiring me to do the same..
Continued love, support and prayers as you go through the days ahead. And – I do mean “go through” – as in “get to the other side”. Glad you have a friend to make the long flight with you.
May God bless you and the man of your dreams!
Continued love, support and prayers as you go through the days ahead. And – I do mean “go through” – as in “get to the other side”. Glad you have a friend to make the long flight with you.
May God bless you and the man of your dreams!
OMGosh that picture is fabulous. And you were “worried” about the other picture with his hair? Seriously. Anyways, so we are for sure praying for you both and love you to pieces and am so grateful that you are putting your marriage first. Well done Alece and know that you are not alone. You both have an army of people behind you…praying and loving you. Whatever it takes. We got your back on this one.
First: I love the favicon and the falling snow.
Second: I’m praying for you in heaps as you travel.
Third: You are beautiful. And always have been. Picture as proof.
OHIO??anywhere near Cincinnati???!!!
Definitely!!!! I will be praying for you two!! And, by the way, his hair in the picture is just too much! :)
Love you!
Thanks for opening up and trusting us with your deep feelings! I feel so honored! I love you very much and SOOO respect BOTH of you for doing what it takes to get yourselves to a better place and then as a couple. I think most people start out with couples counseling just to get the other person sorted out, your way of doing it will pay off much more I am sure. You will both be in my prayers!! Love and blessings!!
Praying for you & Niel, Alece. God is so utterly faithful and will be faithful to you both, to the very end.
Counseling is such a wonderful device for improving/strengthening relationships. Despite the one bad counselor I had, I’ve found counseling to be so helpful and such a blessing!
Praying for you as you and Niel start on this journey.
Wow! Thank you for your transparency. I know to my very core the miracles God does in marriages where you are surrender to Him … and how amazing it is when He makes all things new and the way He intends for them to be. It is a journey seperately and together! I praise Him that you and Neil will be more of an example of a marriage that works by His grace. Oh sweet Alece, I wish I could hug you and be giddy with you at the same time! :)
I will be praying! Love you! Debra
I can’t say any more than the other ladies have said. Love you Alece and will be praying for you both! Hugs! (PS…please drink a starbucks in the red cup for me okay?)
definitely praying for you and I am so gald that that Amy is traveling with you! You know how to reach me if you need anything!
i lovee you both so much and dude i am so proud of you guys. If you need anything let me know.
God is good
love you. a lot.
Alece, you are amazing. For what you said. For what you didn’t say. For what you said without saying it. Niel has a treasure, too. I’m proud of both of you for making your marriage worth the effort. And time. And money. I believe that’s step #1 in so many ways. I will be praying. And by the way … my hubby has his hands full too. Sometimes I feel sorry for him. And then I don’t. ;)
Isaiah 54:16
“Behold, I Myself have created the smith who blows the fire of coals And brings out a weapon for its work …”
I respect the fact that you’re taking the initiative to make your marriage better. We’re praying for you.
Good for you… beautiful choices and decisions and realizations. Thank you for being so open… first, so we can pray with you and for you, and also so that people can see that love takes work. So many want the easy fairytale, but they forget there are always forces that have to be conquered before the happily ever after comes.
Know you and Neil will be in my prayers and I hope you find a lot of joy in the journey.
So much love and prays heading your and Neil’s way.
T
Alece…I’ve walked in these shoes. I will be praying for you LIKE.CRAZY!!! God is good. Always.
FYI…we have a GREAT counselor out of CIU in Columbia SC…let me know if you need his name and number.
satan wants nothing more than to destroy marriages and families….fight my sister. ALL things are possible THROUGH Christ’s loves.
always praying,
Jane
wow alece.
counseling is so worth it (we spent 12 months in couples counseling and i spent 6 additional months in individual counseling). sometimes i wish we could go back and sit on the couch with Mary and let it all out.
i will be praying for you. i don’t know what you are specifically going thru but please know that chad and i have been thru CRAZY marriage stuff and we are still here. stronger. more in love. and more in love with Christ.
think of difficulty as a gift. because it is. god uses hardship to create strength in us.
blessings.
Mama and I will be praying for you and Neil – 7 years eh? 36 more and you catch up with papa and mama!
I can see you bring the same honesty to life that you bring to this blog.
Love equals passion. Sharing great passion is never going to be easy. It’s that same passion that makes overcoming any difficulty worth the effort.
Friend,
I love you. Check yer email.
And…”HELLA”…what is up with that picture? I love it.
I love you friend. Waiting to hear from you soon.
And p.s. What is UP with the hair? Seriously? HAHAHA!! And what is that thing I see in your hair? Could it possibly be what I think it is? heehee oh goodness.
Counseling has strengthened our marriage throughout our 25 years. It’s good to be honest and deal with the struggles, individually and together.
I’ll be praying. Such a wise choice.
Love you, Alece.
Love you.
He’s a handsome one, that Niel.
I am praying for you both.
Love
You.
here.
At your request (and because i feel compelled out of love to) FYP :-)
I don’t agree with Jane above – about satan’s wanting nothing more than…
.. satan is often very happy leaving two people in Marriage as they will serve his needs more there!
Sometimes marriage joins two good people together for the wrong reasons and a lot of pain and negativity is the result. – even a turning away from God as we focus more on our wants than His.
Sometimes counselling will help save a marriage – but only if both parties eyes are opened to Truth – and hearts are opened to True Love not mere human ‘wanting’.
Don’t know the circumstances of the difficulty here Leesh but i will be Praying that HIS Will overrides each of your own so as to bring His Plan into clearer focus for you both.
I pray that is what ultimately brings the most happiness into each of your lives – whatever the personal outcomes.
None of us are perfect – yet. Forgiveness is something we all must practice and develop within us – before we reach heaven.
And that pic is a keeper – who had the longer hair then? :-)
bub
<B
I love you, Baby Beecy!
Would you look at that photo!
Alece you are a wise woman. I admire your courage.
FYP
If I can be of any encouragement, Alece, I will agree with your statement:
“The best is yet to come”
It is. I feel this for you.
My husband have a marriage that is full of love but can be challenging a times too: as our pre-marital counselor put it: we’ve both got a lot of horsepower. We went through an especially difficult time approaching our seventh anniversary. Counseling helped.
But I am convinced that what helped most was our resolve to as you say “dig our heels in and do whatever it takes.” We both were determined to work through it with blood sweat and tears. Running full force to our Savior for strength, forgiveness, healing had a renewing affect on our marriage that is unreal. Knowing that we were both on the same team – the team that wanted our marriage to succeed and thrive, helped us to see that the struggles weren’t worth fighting over.
Three years later we are in a place I never thought we would be. So much has changed. So much has been let go. And I am convinced that our difficult time has strengthened our union in a phenonmenal way, as I believe it will for you.
God will bless your willingness. I will be praying for both of you. :)
I’ve never regretted counseling. Patti usually is the one to recognize the need before me. We will be celebrating 28 years come January 10th.
I posted a couple of items on my non-secret to marital success last year.
http://ricbooth.wordpress.com/2008/01/10/twenty-seven-year-anniversary/
http://ricbooth.wordpress.com/2008/01/11/closely-guarded-secrets-to-making-it-to-a-27th-anniversary/
I will pray for you. I know that life/marriage on the mission field can be extremely challenging and there are forces trying to defeat you and keep you both from fulfilling God’s purpose and vision for you and those around you. Remember greater is He that is in you.
If you are up for meeting new friends during your time in Ohio…let me know. I am just south of Detroit, MI.
Definitely! Being totally committed is really the stickler! If you are, then you’ll make it, because God honors that!
((((hugs))))
(And I’m in central Ohio, if you need a meal sometime or other!)
I’m praying like crazy for you. I am so happy you guys are going for it and truly making your marriage a priority. it will pay off and God will bless your marriage for it. You are so wise to take this step!
thank you, everyone, for all your love and support. it means a lot.
That’s my sister up there, Alece (Katie in Ohio with the offer of a meal). And she means it. :)
You are on my heart always… I will pray for you my friend….
Alece you guys are in our prayers. As Jack and I are getting ready to head onto the mission field July 09 to Panama we are really taking time for each other and our marriage so it will be strong on the field we know it will be work once we get there. I know God will reward you guys, you are changing Africa for HIM!!!!
ive neglected my Reader and am barely reading this, but you know i will pray for you both.
i am so proud of you.
reading thru your comments i was overwhelmed with how much you are loved. we love you SO much, alece. and we stand by you, in prayer and support.
i’ve been so overwhelmed…
Such a wise choice.
I’ve always said that walking with God through life and through marriage is a long series of choices. The right choice in so many of those intances can be excrutiatingly difficult.
For me, through the darkest times, my comfort was that God knew. He knew it all. And He cared.
I empathise with ‘Our marriage has never been easy.’, the different cultures thing and the difficult person to live with thing. My dad actually asked Mark if he was strong enough to handle me when he asked Dad for my hand in marriage.
But God put us together. And I would never be able to deny that fact. There will be some truths right at the base of your marriage – where God is – that you’ll just keep returning to…hold onto those.
the best IS yet to come