voting lines are open
July 29, 2008
I submitted a former blog post into a short-story contest on DailyWritingTips.com. They’re choosing winners based on votes, so… go on over and vote. (You have until Saturday.)
Of course, to be fair, I should encourage you to read all the entries (you really only need to read the first one) and vote for the one you think deserves to win (again, you only really need to read the first one). No, I’m serious. I don’t want sympathy or obligatory votes (well, I do, but you know…).
That’s all folks!
(Pretty please!)
Duh…of course you are the only one worth voting for.
:)
That’s so great! Will go over and have a look :)
can i vote on this being my ALL-TIME FAVORITE header of yours?????
OK…voted…there was this really cool piece about a symphony…
:lol: JUST KIDDING!!!! Love you
mandy — really?! thanks!
deb — i know! i actually like the symphony one better! and it’s totally kickin’ my butt right now! ha!
i loved that story the first time. it was worth reading again, just because i remembered how much i loved it when it was on your blog. :) so i voted for that Alece lady. she is phenomenal!
I <3 you.
whoa, i love your new header!
woah…how did i miss three posts!?
voted.
hannah — thanks, maam!
yeller — i’m a blogging MACHINE!
Voted!!
Didn’t like the symphony one.
I have rose colored glasses on too.
I only support my friend in this.
awww…. thanks, heidi! :-)
(how’s your head?)
Actually Alece…I have 9 computers at work…so hey…time for a little catch up!!!! heh heh
you just made me laugh out loud! thanks, deb!
A little punchy..But tons better
But it’s only 6:38 and no coffee yet. I have alot to do. SO I need to find a coffee IV.
(how’s the tum)
eish, heidi. was your morning walk doubly-good? i sure hope so.
my tummy’s about the same. i’m taking it slow and easy, but will head out soon to run some errands with my mom… (sigh)
Thats awesome…I really liked that story. I’m sure if I know your readers, you’ll win that contest hands down!
I’m putting on my shoes right now!!
I’m so excited.
Got any requests to go on my prayer cards?
Take it easy friend and DON’T overdue it or I’m coming to LI to mess you up.. LOL
ummmm, fyi… the symphony one is winning right now, so everyone better get on over there…….
mo — if it’s anything like the puppy contest, i know i can count on my g&g family!
heidi — on your way! i’m smiling for you because i know how much you love this time… requests: tummy, money, and my honey (after the first 2, i figured i’d keep the theme going) — niel flies out of SA on wednesday.
mo — see… my biggest problem is that even i prefer the symphony one to my own story!
Got it…
Lovin and prayin
working right now…
I’ll be back…
I’m going to vote a hundred times today. :D Really.
I voted, I voted!
This was easier than voting for the elections….obtaining an absentee ballot and everything. Stupid absentee ballot.
Anyway.
I sure do like this story.
and I love you!
Also, I love your header.
you are getting seriously fancy w/ your header… it looks AWESOME… how’d you do that?!?
I need an “i voted” sticker to wear proudly…
i’m w/ brandy…i’ve already voted 5 times already!!!! So the results are skewed…we love our alece!!!
brandy and cathi — it only lets you vote one time from any given computer… so thanks anyway! :-)
becca — thanks for providing such great fodder for stories…
amers — i laughed at the mental image of you wearing an “i voted sticker”. (did you know i ran for treasurer of the student council when i was in 4th grade?! ha!!) AND… i used handy-dandy picnik.com to make my banner…
i voted at work AND at home.
you’re so very welcome. ;)
Seriously?!
Do you know how much time I spent going back and voting and voting and voting and voting! :lol: Oh man! That’s funny!! hahaha!!!
oooh… thanks, mandypants.
and brandy – it DOES say something like “your vote has already been counted” any time you try to repeat-vote…
oops! :-)
HA HA.
Hey… Your moving up!!!
I need that placard for my lawn..
Vote for Alece!!!!
Hi Becca!!
the 3 of us need to plan a time to “get together” to talk about silence…
I’m game.. I’m up for it anytime and I think it would create a good discussion here on the blog
You changed YOUR header!!!
Looks awesome. Do you know these kids pictured?
I voted this morning and just made my mom vote too. :)
I liked the symphony one, too, though… It brought back memories of my years in band…
And, I agree – the header looks great!
Oo that picnik.com looks like fun. :-) The header does look very nice.
The gap is closing on the poll my friend. that is so cool that you were listed first…
You are so cool – thanks for letting us know about the contest.
they do tell you? Geesh! I don’t think I hung around long enough on that page to even look, I just kept voting. HAHA!!! :blush:
Hey Heidi, you get that address yet? ;-) heehee
OH! HAHA!!
It says “thank you, we have already counted your vote”
HAHAHA!!!
doofus! haha!!
me, the doofus
not you ;-) ha!
heidi — maybe sometime tonight will work?! let’s see… and yes, i changed my header! i don’t know the kids, but i took the picture at a children’s ministry event we hosted.
jen — i know! i love the symphony piece as well.
@ngie — i was also surprised to see my essay listed first!
brandy/doofus — you make me laugh. so… you want my address?
cathi — i rock your socks?! thanks for the comment love over at the contest. you made my heart do a cartwheel.
Nope.. I guess I am not persuasive yet!!
Alece it’s a deal…
I’m here, I’m here!
um YEAH I want you address! And I think Niel might want me to have your address as well. :lol: heehee ;-)
where is heidi?
where is heidi?
brandy – my oh my oh my… you are one persistent little bugger. (you and your lullaboobie!)
we’re trying to get heidi back over here for a much-delayed conversation. feel free to stick around for it!
How do I know when someone comments?
refresh
refresh
refresh
I’m here!!
yay! you made it…
thank you for your post, friend. for sharing your beautiful heart…
That was a tear jerker.. for me anyways
So Becca you start
it was for me, too… (are you kidding me?!?!)
ha – and you’re making becca start?!?! i think you should get us going… i”m trying to even remember where we left off on the “silent” stuff. i’m gonna search my comments and see if i can find it…
Okay I will… the post was about the the merry go around wasn’t it?
okay.
got it.
i think it all started here…
http://gritandglory.com/2008/07/03/listless/#comment-6500
AHHHH this 41 year old brain!!
You said you were having a 3 hour marathon phone call with a friend right?
yes… and becca was said friend.
See my mind isn’t as clear..
Or it might be all the chemicals I snorted today.
maybe we should start the conversation THERE!
yeah
A conversation about cocaine dependency? …This is not what I thought I was agreeing to.
ha ha ha!
hi… my name is alece and i’m a blog-addict.
“hi alece!”
ha.
Stop laughing. if You read my post today, you would find me having an affair with ajax and mr clean.
so what’d you snort today, heidi?!
ohhhh… THOSE chemicals! (i didn’t know what you had stashed in your closet… sheeesh!) and i did read that post… remember i even offered to don rubber gloves and join you!
those are lethal combinations.
Like when you get your animal, based on the year you’re born (I’m an OX…mooo.), and they say: the OX and the chicken get along. Beware of the horse.
It’s kinda like that.
That’s what I think.
Okay I just read all the comments.
Silence on the phone with close friends.
Why isn’t awkward?
you’re SO close!!! i might have to hijack all the computers @ the library.
way to jump right in there, heidi! leavin’ becca talkin’ about horses… Ha! (this is the way we ride here, becca — pay attention, refresh often, and hang on tight!)
(do it, mandy!! and stick around for the comment conversation going on if you can!)
k, Mandy you’ll be perfect in this, stay on.
It’s not awkward for me because I know that I’ll have something to talk about the whole time. Either I’ll be saying it, or she will… And a lot of our conversation seems to be spontaneous– like, “ooh! I just saw a cow!” and conversation looks more like spaghetti than… boxes?
(and just so you ladies know, i made a cup of tea just for the occasion. so it kinda — KINDA —- feels like we’re just having a tea-break together…)
The question ladies is:
Why isn’t it awkward to have silence on the phone betwwen friends?
spaghetti! ha. but yeah, you’re right, it does… we follow the train of thought until it seems to mesh into another one. we’ll usually get back to the original noodle eventually, especially if it’s important…
I ate steak for dinner.
Yeesss.
for me it isn’t awkward when it’s with a friend that i feel comfortable enough to have silence with IN PERSON.
Because it seems like I can tell what she’s thinking. If there is silence, it’s because we were pondering what was just said, I suppose.
Okay… I understand the meshing…
But do you ever run out of something to say?
I’d agree- if I can have silence in person, it seems much easier on the phone.
with most people, yes.
with my best friend, no.
I’m hoping the person on the other end has something to say if I run out of everything to say. Haha.
so do you guys finish each other sentences?
sometimes
when the silence is a result of running out of things to say, i think that’s when it’s awkward. it’s as though you can hear the wheels spinning in both brains, as each one frantically grasps for something to break the silence.
that’s nowhere near the same kind of comfortable awkwardness between close friends.
To me it’s hard to have a conversation on the phone because I am so excited and I blurt out everything in 2 minutes.
Do you guys talk often?
Haha.
We talk often, yes. We find a way to say hello at least it seems everyday.
Either by phone or email or text or somethin.
we do now. we never did before. and we probably won’t for a looooong time when i go back to SA. (well, hopefully we can manage weekly chats when we can…)
and yes – some kind of contact everyday, but real talks… almost everyday or at least every-every-other. (although this is the first friend i’ve ever done that with!)
I guess where I was leaning into last comment fest was.. true transparancey is so difficult for me.
Is it hard for you AWAY from your relationship?
what do you mean?
and i need to just say this, too: transparency is really hard for me, too. it’s something i’ve really challenged myself to grow in over the past 2 years… it does not come naturally to me, and i’m always amazed by people to whom it seems to just come easily…
Hmmm.
For me to step out and be transparent with my friends or others, i need a REAL security of trust.
Like I have found in you Alece recently. I’m just starting that on my blog.
But when it comes to my emotions I so wish to write them then share them.
You too are very close and that’s awesome, but in other realtionships do you share this same trust and transparency or does it depend?
It depends, but I do share a surprising amount with a handful of other friends.
Transparency on a lot of levels comes fairly easily to me. I see it as a chance for other people to learn from my mistakes, or to see Jesus in me when I don’t, or…to get help, instead of struggling through something alone.
i could “ditto” your entire first paragraph. i need a real security of trust, too…
this depth of trust/transparency doesn’t exist in most of my other relationships. i have one other friend right now i feel i can go there with in the same way, although our lives don’t allow for that (time/schedule-wise) right now. but when we have those moments to connect, it’s that same open-heart-ness…
but i don’t do that across the board.
AND i absolutely find it much easier to write about my emotions than to talk about them…
I’d prefer to write out my emotions also.
OOH!
Lecey AND Becca! Joyness!
(read up a bit, roo, and then jump on in!)
ok, so i voted from each computer in the computer lab…
cathi — you ROCK!
have time to chat?!
(and i’m STILL not ahead! dang that fantastic symphony essay!)
Becca.. you hit on a word for me.
I’m very extroverted. I love to be in a crowd.
Because I can handle multiple conversations they say I am shallow!!
But what they don’t know is what I do later. Sometimes cry or just pray over that.
I use my struggles too.. for them to see God’s glory.
But, I don’t want to be a drama queen, so I suck in my emotions and just share facts, until a trust has formed.
Are you guys extroverted or introverted?
Have ever been called shallow?
Ha ha. All these people are pulling for you.
haha.
yeah, where?
(right here, cathi — scroll up to catch up and then just jump in!)
Oops. Speaking of cyber lovin’… David is online just for a bit longer. I’ll catch up soon. And be back a bit after that. :D I’m around… in a bit!
give me a minute…i’ll be a sec
i’m introverted.
and i have been called shallow, in many different ways. some people feel they should be close to me (or rather that i should be close to them), for whatever reason, and i am not, also for whatever reason, and that has led to some hurts on both sides. i feel some of that simply as a leader in our ministry; i’ll never be able to live up to the expectations of all our staff and interns to be my friend (really and truly my friend…)
“I suck in my emotions and just share facts, until a trust has formed.” — i do that, too.
sometimes it’s not even until trust has formed; i just deem that someone does not need to know or be given that glimpse deeper into me than i want them to have, so i just don’t go there.
is that wrong?
I am very much an introvert. Which is why I’m not a particularly large fan of the phone sometimes.
Being able to multi-task is a gift. I don’t think it means you’re shallow.
Since I am an introvert, I don’t mean to generalize, but they tend to be observers. You know, as an introvert, who is a good listener and who isn’t simply by standing in a crowd listening. So I share after weeks of silence, so to speak.
I share with people I know will listen to me.
I’ve never been called shallow, but I have been called “too deep”. haha.
Wow…
True me also. Because I am friedly with everyone, I have a plentiful mass of friends.
My true friends I count on one hand.
My first typo. Gasp!
Hope you understood that without the words I typed in my head. haha.
me, too, heidi.
(new rule: no apologies for typos allowed on here.)
and yes, becca, i understood! ;)
got it.
Haha.
My last comment made no sense. I’m trying to multi task..
People think I have a mass of friends but I really don’t
understood.
Is it wrong to suck it in”?
Probably most counselors would think so. I don’t think so. I am comfortable with all my raw emotions just fine!!! Lol
Yea we should share.
(need to pee – be right back! darn tea!)
i’m a little confuzled by your last comment, heidi… did it end prematurely?
It’s a gauge- I’m silent, and therefore people take me as stuck up sometimes. You happen to just share facts, and I guess that means people think you’re shallow…
I think that if I don’t work on that, even though I think my way is fine, people are always going to assume incorrect things about me for the first few weeks they know me. ha.
ok, i’m back
but where’s the line between authenticity (being who you are, as long as it’s not hurting others) and meeting people where they’re at (changing so as not to give the wrong impression)???
hi
yay for cathi’s back!
I’m saying I’m okay with not sharing my raw emotions with everyone.
Is it wrong… probably.
Yea.. we need to share them more. I guess
cathi, meet becca.
becca, meet cathi.
hi cathi, I’m Heidi
i don’t know that it’s wrong for us not to share our raw emotions with everyone. i think i’m trying to discover for myself what authenticity truly means… and i don’t think it means that i’d automatically share with person A what i might share with person B.
But is there a line of authenticity?
Is it wrong? No. I don’t share my raw emotions with the girl who cuts my hair, or the kid who checks me out when I buy cereal from the store.
oh — i thought you two knew each other!?!?! you don’t?!?! ohmycow! i’m glad you guys are meeting here! (sorry for my lack of hosting skills!)
hi becca, hi heidi!
i’m an introverted extrovert and i love this statement:
“it’s just like how i enjoy doing “nothing” with people i’m close to. i don’t need to be entertained; i don’t need every moment to be filled with activity. often my greatest memories involve my couch, someone i love, and a whole lot of nothing.”
that describes much of my marriage and i LOVE IT!
that sounds reeeeeally familiar… what’s that from?!?!
nevermind. i’m a dork.
wow!!
Okay Becca,
What about family?
becca — “or the kid who checks me out…” shoot, girl… look at you! gettin’ checked out so often it made the hypothetical list. ow ow!
They are suppose to be the closest. They are blood related
oh the dreaded word!
What in particular about family?
Hahahha. I didn’t even catch that!!
HA HAHA
i’m lost again….adhd kicks in right about now…
family? is that the dreaded word?
cathi – the fact that you can say that describes your marriage is so so so wonderful. i hope you know what a gift that is!! i am sure you do!
heidi – are you saying that we should have the closest relationships with family members because they’re family?
Cathi- your God rocked your world with your husband..
I am not close with my family. My idea of authenticity in that area is……….. short, abbreviated, staccato.
I’m the absolute antithesis. I’d rather share my deepest, darkest secrets with a homeless person than any member of my family
(see? We all have room to grow…. Eesh)
Me too..
I wrote a post tonight about my son and his abnormality.
What I didn’t put in the post, because I am always afraid she’ll google me. Is that she wanted me to abort my son.
I am so there. Alece knows more about me than my mom.
But there are days, especially because she has cancer where I feel that I should be authentic with her. But I can’t
heidi, i think God’s ideal design was for the family unit to be our strongest community, but if it’s not i don’t think it’s wrong for us to seek it out elsewhere.
I was talking about my mom.. I left the word out. oops.
Wow. I’m glad you didn’t take her advice.
I’m a novice when it comes to doing the right thing in the family department.
i’m so sorry, heidi. i understand you feeling more torn with your mom’s illness… (and i wondered if it was her when you mentioned that family members encouraged you to have an abortion…)
would your sharing more of yourself with her now really be because you’d hope she’d share more of herself with you? or because you want her to know you more/better?
hey thanks! I love the fact that i don’t have to say a thing when i don’t feel like talking…which is quite often.
My favorite is just sitting. we do road trips a lot…driving in the car from cleveland to florida, and we maybe have a collective 1/2 hour of chatting…other than that, we’re listening to music or staring out the window saying, “ooh”, an one knows exactly what the other means. it’s nice really.
so, getting to the other part of the convo…this whole silence thing CAN most DEFINITELY contribute awkwardness to a phone conversation. Except w/ my slice…sometimes it’s just nice to hear each other breath. all others…it’s just weird.
wow.. very poignant Alece.
I think that’s why God’s intimacy is so important to me. I lost trust in the model He provided and I have learned to grow elsewhere.
and boy am i glad you didn’t take her advice either. iceman is precious, and i can’t wait to see what God does with his life.
I am so envious of my friends who have great relationships with their brothers, or their parents. I don’t lack a good relationship with my parents…They don’t hate me, they’ve supported everything I’ve ever done (except getting my eyebrow pierced), it just lacks authenticity a lot.
wow…i’m too slow for this conversation…i feel so inappropriate writing about cars and phones…i’m sorry heidi, i didn’t mean to take away the honor of your story.
I don’t know Alece.. right now, probably out of guilt.
Cathi- I so know what you mean driving in silence and then oohs and aws and he only understands.
cathi — “sometimes it’s just nice to hear each other breathe.” absolutely. i love that with niel. we don’t feel the need to fill our roadtrips together with a lot of chatter, either. it’s wonderfully refreshing to spend that time together, close and “intimate” without saying much of anything at all.
Hokay, I’m back.
Oooh, authenticity.
Hm, I’ve realized recently that in certain situations, I’m incredibly transparent. I am who I am. But that’s not always 100% true.
no worries, catheter!
cathi- no worries.
heidi — i think transparency out of guilt is maybe not really even transparency anymore. i don’t think you should guilt your way into sharing more than you actually want to. i think you’ll end up with a hurting heart if you do. but i don’t really know…
roo — welcome back!
Dag. So many related but separate thoughts going through my head right now! Cathi, I agree entirely. Silence is sometimes my favorite means of communication.
CATHETER!? Really?
Ouch.
Roo.. I totally agree..
Okay back to silence,
is silence because of lack of thought or yearning for more? or not wanting to let go?
woah, great list, heidi. i think it can be any of those, or all.
Alece- I don’t put much energy in my relationship with my mom. I talk to her (about the kids) 4-5 times a year.
Hm. Sometimes for me it’s lack of thought. Sometimes it’s too many thoughts. Sometimes it’s just a total feeling of comfort and relaxation. Most often, though, it’s a feeling of not needing to talk to communicate something that’s just known. That I enjoy someone’s company, that I trust them, that I appreciate any time I get to have with them – even the silent times. Especially the silent times. I’m a huge silent fan.
(and we’re not done with this authenticity stuff yet – let’s come back at some point!)
hmmm… That’s a very good question.
Sometimes not wanting to let go I think.
Also, sometimes a little silence is needed for people to gather their thoughts.
I think… that the authenticity ties into the silence thing.
Can you feel comfortable being silent with someone with whom you aren’t authentic?
hmmmmm…. I don’t think I can- not for a long time, and certainly not on the phone.
heidi — you and i need to write those “relationship with my mom” emails…
* * *
i recently cried on the phone with a friend. not like sniffles and teary eyes, but real crying. i’ve never done that with someone on the phone before, except my husband. there was a lot of silence during it, as i tried to gain composure… but the silence felt “good” in that i knew i was “with” a friend… that i was with someone who loved and cared for me, even as i was falling apart via telephony.
I’m here! I’m here!!
going to read back through now…. be back ;-) You guys are chatty! :lol:
roo — “Can you feel comfortable being silent with someone with whom you aren’t authentic?”
no…
for me, silence is a gift of trust.
hi BM!
jump in.. no trench coats or high heels tonight.
pretty heavy tonight
Shame. I hate crying over the phone. But I’ve done it (often with my mom on the other end). It isn’t that I don’t feel comfortable, though… it’s more that I don’t want the other person to feel that helpless feeling that one gets when they can’t even provide much comfort. Because I hate that feeling, much as I like having friends who can cry to me.
yeah – i felt that a bit, and tried expressing that to my friend. i felt uncomfortable FOR HER. i know what you mean…
I’d prefer not to cry over the phone- if I’m gonna cry, I’d rather have someone’s hand to hold.
But I have cried on the phone with…three people I think. And each time I could feel their hands, so to speak.
and yet, i knew that even if it made her feel uncomfortable or at a loss, that even more than that, she wanted to be there for me… so that reassured me.
preference? heck yeah – no phone crying.
but…
sigh.
Yeah. That is true. I guess I’ve spent so much time holding it back until later that I am really frustrated with myself that I can’t just wait and break down when it won’t effect someone else.
heidi, we’ve gotten a little off course on the trail of tears here… what else are you thinking about?
See this silence? it’s beautiful.
(i don’t like crying in general, although i do seem to do it an awful lot!)
All caught up! :D
WOW, heavy heavy tonight girls! ;-)
whatcha got to throw in, bran muffin?
oh boy, I feel nervous for some reason…. mostly b/c I have lots to say that I feel would be little input??
no, no, no… say it bran… i’d love to hear your thoughts.
say what you need to say, say what you need to say….
so says John Mayer.
mmm… great song.
I’m an extrovert completely. I thrive off of friendships with other people. But I am also a homebody, mostly since having kids, which is why blogging has become a huge thing for me.
I feel like I am authentic with pretty much everyone I talk to. That doesn’t mean that I spill my guts to them the minute I feel like I can call them friend. Even now there is so much in my life that I don’t blog about b/c a public blog just isn’t the appropriate outlet. That part of my life slowly comes out in emails or conversations.
Silence during phone conversations….depends on the person. So does what I will say in a conversation. With some people I am guarded, and others I am very open. I was just having this EXACT conversation with my best phone friend tonight. I say phone friend b/c I haven’t seen her since before Dylan was born. Our friendship is stricly phone related now.
Okay, I don’t even know where I was going…. I need to hit submit now. HAHA!!!
I’m sorry gals.. I had some internet problems.
I’m back what did I miss?
We missed you.
Thanks for coming back.
oh, and Jake and I never talk during car trips. I love it. ANd I had to smile when Cath described her marriage b/c that is me and Jake…. sit on the couch and don’t talk but it’s a GOOD silence. A comfortable silence. And sometimes we will both laugh at the same thing on tv without saying “hey, wasn’t that funny?” b/c we know the other thought so. Make sense?
We’re just….comfortable. And I’ve recently become more comfortable telling him when I’m mad too. I used to be afraid of that….afraid of confrontation.
you raised a good question for me… maybe authenticity doesn’t have as much to do with “baring my soul” as i’ve always imagined it to. what’s the difference really?
HI BECCA
HI HEIDI
HI CATHI
HI ROO
HI ALECE
did I miss anyone?? ;-)
not putting up a fake front about who you are or what your personality is…..just to suit the other person.
I think anyway. ;-)
afraid of confrontation… mmm… i don’t dread it as much as i once used to either.
You missed cheech and chong. They’re individuals too, you know.
leave them out of this!
hey cheech
sup chong
:lol: haha
Confrontation…. yeah I hate it. Like, a lot. It’s never been good in my life. This has been something that made my counselor a lot of money. HA!!
so… authenticity: being real, but not necessarily being the same slice of real with everybody????
Hey, Brandy! Good to see you! I’ve been lurking for a while… oops.
One thing I love about this blog world of ours is that I get to know people – y’all are so well expressed – in a way that I can’t compare to other relationships, quite. :) I love that we’re all sharing our hearts.
am I missing something about cheech and chong? I feel like I am. haha!!
They aren’t boobs are they? :shock:
YES, ‘lece. You’ve got it.
They don’t know how to behave either!!!
Who taught you about authenticity? Who was your example?
roo — yes, me, too! my blog community has really evolved in recent months, and i wouldn’t trade it for the world. i’ve gone “deep” with some wonderful women and my life is certainly richer for it.
i do find it easier in a lot of ways to get to a point of closeness/intimacy in a relationship over the internet than in person. which makes me think i’m not as exciting/fun/easy-to-get-to-know/likeable in person as i am in writing. but… i’m still figuring that one out.
brandy — you have a one-track mind, you know?!?! cheech and chong are my tonsils!!!
Hm. I had negative examples, Heidi. I grew up being overly “me” just so I was obviously not the other people. I’ve toned it down a lot, now, and it’s become a (sometimes) clean-cut authenticity. I’m open with people. Who I am is just what there is. I don’t have anything else to share, really. It sometimes gets confused with shyness or snobbery. But it’s really just me, whether uncomfortable or frustrated or totally at peace with a situation.
‘Lecey, you’re definitely that cool in person. I wish I’d outgrown some of my awkwardnesses before I left this last year… so I could’ve told you that in person.
i haven’t had very good examples of authenticity… my family is not very communicative. more the passive-aggressive silent communicator type. i’m trying desperately to break free from that. (Lord, help me!)
not being the same slice of real with everybody…ummmm I guess? That does make sense.
I’m not going to be the me that Jake knows with anyone else.
I have things that I only say to my best phone friend (Toni in any future mention of her) b/c only she will understand or get it. Well, I’ll give you a for instance….and this might read bad but I assure you it’s not. ;-)
She can call me and say “I’m having a shakey baby day” and I know that in a million years she’d never ever do that, but it’s how she is expressing her frustration to me. I can say things like to her like “I’m so mad I could punch Jake in the face” and she knows I’m venting frustration and would NEVER ever do that sort of thing. We laugh about the way we describe our frustrations. But if I were to say that you in one of our first emails back and forth….you might raise an eyebrow and thing “ummm spousal abuse?”
Make sense?
Gosh I read through that and it sounds slightly bad. My point is that, we can say things and express things to each other that we can’t do with everyone, b/c we “GET” each other. And it takes time to build that. A lot of time.
a friend in high school named Kaelee. She was the preacher’s daughter, but she was the most authentic person I’d ever seen. It astounded me. She would very earnestly ask for prayer because she didn’t feel like worshipping God that day, or because she felt selfish because of this, or… etc..
i feel like i missed a lot of opportunities with you, smiley-roo. and i’m sorry for that. truly.
i’m glad we’re making up for it.
ROO!
You’ve been lurking my blog? Or you’ve been lurking this convo?
If it’s my blog, say HEY! And thank you for the comps, but I think everyone else in blogland is so eloguent that I don’t even try to post something of that standard. ;-) I just blog about poop and diapers and kid conversations. HAHA!!
She was not afraid to laid bare to admit she was being a sinful human (we don’t like to admit that, like the elephant in the room, kinda…), but she loved Jesus with her whole heart, and she shared her heart with anyone she could.
bran — yes yes yes! we can GIVE based on how we GET each other!
becca — wow… i still have a hard time asking for prayer for genuine personal needs. which, when i think about it, makes me feel like a shallow christian.
Wow. Mine was .. Barbara.. She actually shared Christ with me Many years ago.
But we lost contact in for about 15 years, Yes brandy I’m old.
And we just caught up in about 10 seconds about 3 months ago.
@Becca: we don’t like to admit that, like the elephant in the room, kinda…
Which is why I decided to post about my conversation with Dylan and the “bad words” *blush*
*sigh*
I blame me. I was awkward. I’m much better at relating to people, now. And someday, we will fix that in person, too. :D
Becca – wow. See, that’s something that gets me. I have a hard time sharing some things like that because I feel like I’m simply pointing out my inadequacies. Is that unauthentic? I suppose I do share those things sometimes. In fact, I’m working up a blog for one of the next couple days on something like that. But still…
brandy — i loved you even more for that post.
heidi — how wonderful that you reconnected!
I’d agree- I feel like I’m pointing out inadequacies sometimes, too. But…it is truth- the flesh (as opposed to the spirit) is uggggly.
Heidi, you are not old. My own mom isn’t even old. ;-)
Alece, I do think you have to be guarded somewhat especially early on in a friendship. If you are totally out there and open you could scare the person off. HA!! Seriously though. We all come with a LOT of baggage. Unfortunately.
For instance…
right now I’m fighting with my sister in law
my mom just got divorced and I get to hear about it every.single.day.
my sister is in HUGE dept and keeps asking for money I don’t have to give her
Jake and I struggle with certain marital issues.
Now had I come out with all of that my first time here or even in one of our first emails back and forth you may have thought “wow that’s a lot of baggage I don’t want to take on” (or not! *wink*) but that would have been overwhelming. And that’s all the stuff I want to blog about, but privately. I don’t mind sharing it, just not on my blog. y/k?
Mostly b/c they all read my blog, but other than that…. haha!
Yeah it was.. Alot of ground to cover…
Okay another question, I feel like Diane Sawyer.
Does Authenticity hurt? or do we make it painful and scary?
Can someone truly be real and tell the truth all the time?
Yeah.
I’ve also had friends who did this to get attention. So sometimes I cringe and hold back because I don’t want other people to assume that of me.
*Big Sigh* It is uggggly. And I wish it would be a little neater.
thank you for the love even after that blog post. ;-) I really really hesitated. But, I don’t want to paint a perfect picture and on a blog it’s so easy to do that.
oh Heidi you have no idea how this hits HEAD ON to something I had to go through earlier tonight. *sigh*
bran — i certainly would scare someone off!
thanks for sharing comfortable enough to share some of your baggage. and i agree on not writing all that on a blog; i don’t either. (if you hadn’t noticed!) that’s why God created email.
i want to know all that about you, because i care for you as a person. and while it may have been overwhelming (in the sense of me wanting to reach out to you in the best way possible but not really knowing how), i wouldn’t have run and hid if you’d said all that to me early on (just so you know)
Brandy. thanks I don’t think 41 is old either
I think authenticity can hurt sometimes. I think you can share something, and someone will not learn from your mistake. Or they laugh, or they never mention your struggle again- It reminds me of that verse that warns us not to give pearls to swine…
It can also remind us–convict us–of how dirty we used to be, and that can be painful. Or perhaps how selfish we’re currently acting.
authenticity seems to be painful for me, most of the time. but i don’t know if i’m the one making it that way…
Wow. Baggage is another topic entirely. Authenticity doesn’t need to be unloading… but I think that when you reach a point of deep authenticity, you have to be able and willing (even if it doesn’t happen always) to hear and share those things.
thanks. ;-)
Like Roo and Becca pointed out, sometimes I worry that it sounds like a “me me me” topic too. But the other side to that is then I get to listen to someone else now who is more comfortable b/c I shared. Ya gotta give to get! ;-)
email rocks. haha!
And I think authenticity for me has been painful. Mostly because it does involve some baggage of some sort. A brutal honesty of sorts that isn’t easy on the teller or the hearer. I don’t think that twinge of pain is avoidable.
good point Roo….authenticity doesn’t need to be unloading.
Profound thought for the day…..check! ;-)
I agree, and sometimes I teeter on the edge of saying too much, and I think that’s where the super extrovert part of me is a negative thing. I’ve always said I am an open book, and over the years I have learned where that can be a bad thing.
“I don’t think that twinge of pain is avoidable.” which is why sometimes I sugar coat an opinion with people I am afraid of having that confrontation with. Confrontation as a result of authenticity has never been good for me. eeks. Makes me nervous.
heidi, as for your other question — “Can someone truly be real and tell the truth all the time?”
wow.
i strive to tell the truth all the time, but i know i fail… and to me, my truthfulness doesn’t mean EVERYTHING. i will always try to answer honestly, but that might mean just not saying the rest of the “truth” i’m actually thinking or feeling.
I agree with all you gals.
But when do you stop? I find myself in that trap alot!!!
” but that might mean just not saying the rest of the “truth” i’m actually thinking or feeling.”
that’s what I meant by sugar coating. ;-)
yeah – see, bran, i’m not sure if that’s wrong (sugar-coating, telling an untruth by not telling the full truth, yadda yadda) or if that’s wise…
maybe you stop when you know that something you say could hurt the other person? And is it neccessary? If not, then pass maybe? That’s tough.
heidi – “when do you stop?” what do you mean?
aaah.
Mmmm, I’d say that’s a tough thing.
Something David and I talked about the other day was an e-mail he got that was kinda confrontational… from an acquaintance of his… and David was trying to figure out how to answer it. Now, this person did not need to be confronted about any behavior, and the situation could have gotten sticky, but David addressed the matter with brevity and honesty, though not the entire truth… because the entire truth would have been needlessly hurtful. Hurt was avoided, and unnecessary. Does that make sense?
I didn’t mean telling an UNtruth, I just meant not telling ALL of my opinion.
Like… someone recently asked me if I thought them doing a home remodeling project when they had just gone down to one income would make people raise an eyebrow and if I thought they shouldn’t do it. My response: It’s your money you should be able to do what you want and if you think it’s wise then go ahead. She didn’t need to know that I thought it was a bad idea b/c in the end, it was her money and her decision. Had I told her I thought it was a bad idea I know her well enough to know it would have hurt her feelings. I didn’t tell her to do it or not do it…. it wasn’t my decision. If that all makes sense…. *sigh*
i feel as though i grew up with a sense that “me” wasn’t enough. i’ve never been right enough, spiritual enough, open enough, etc. and in my dealing with that, i think i’ve confused myself a bit. i never know what levels of any of those things are right, if there even is a right.
i dunno where my brain was going with that thought; it just seemed to stop.
roo — makes total sense.
bran — mmm… yeah. i get it.
that thought makes me choke up Alece.
I went through a few years of counseling to sort out feelings like those and a number of others. Counseling is gooooood. ;-)
:SIGH:
Alece,
Man this was a good topic. We are seriously having some church here.
Okay, what I was trying to say, is when you carry baggage and not neccessarily authentic, you tend to spill everything when you find that special person.
When do stop? Is there a balance?
I would hate and sometimes I still hold back because I don’t want suffocate a new friend with my baggage.
Alece, I get it. And I think that’s one of the things I can struggle with at times. Something to remember: don’t overanalyze. I know that analysis is good, but sometimes it’s more detrimental. Alece, as-is, is a wonderful, wonderful woman. She’s been a mentor to many (including myself) and a great friend (same). We can always improve, but that’s not because we’re on the bottom rung.
I think, Heidi, that someone above said something along the lines of give as you get. It has to be mutual. If the other person isn’t opening up ever, then maybe it’s time to ask questions, or let silence kick in. Though it does feel good to unload, I also understand the burden it can be to the other person if it’s not a sharing each others’ burdens deal.
Alece- I have felt for years of not being good enough. But who trained us not to be good enough?? Because I want to go back and restart at that point and kick in the pants who’d told me that.
Because I lost many years back there.
heidi — yes!! i totally get that. i’ve been on the verge (for months) of trying to articulate something quite like that. i have an underlying fear of smothering someone… like i’m jumping in with both feet and investing all of me and that other person is like, “woah… hold up…”
ouch.
Heidi “we’re having some church here” heehee yes ma’am. :D (and I say ma’am to everyone so it’s not an insult *wink*)
When do you stop? Is there a balance?
I think it truly depends on the friend. My friend Toni…. there’s nothing I don’t tell her. Nothing really. She’s my “go to” person for just about everything. Only now b/c we’ve been friends long enough she knows the back story to everything. And sometimes, explaining a back story to a new friend is exhausting…emotionally.
Don’t want to suffocate a new friend with baggage…I understand. But on the other hand, I feel very humbled and honored when a friend (new or otherwise) feels they can confide in me. I feel like it is a testament of the friendship.
Roo- wow!!
roo — thanks for the reminder not to over-analyze. i need to hear that.
Brandy- I TOTALLY AGREE!!
heidi — the thing is, i don’t recall ever being told that. not directly. not in so few words. but the message was broadcast loud and clear through conversations, comments, grudges, silent treatments, loud huffs, overheard talks, attitudes, and actions.
and it’s still my choice to receive it. to hold it. to hear it that way.
why is it easier to believe the words of a meteorologist than to trust the words of God?
Heidi– “I have felt for years of not being good enough. But who trained us not to be good enough?? Because I want to go back and restart at that point and kick in the pants who’d told me that.
Because I lost many years back there.”
That was good. Agreed.
I do it too, friend. On a fun note, I don’t play guessing games. Because I over-analyze and *must* have the correct answer. So I’ll think up tons of answers, but I hate vocalizing. :) Something I’m noticing in other areas of my life, too, though.
bran – you hit it on the head with the “back story”. that’s huge for me!
Me too!
roo — i won a starbucks gift card in a guessing game today! i hate being wrong (did i just say that out loud), but i enjoyed the journey of guessing.
interesting insight into you …
why is it easier to believe the words of a meteorologist than to trust the words of God?
Because we can see the hair color of the meteorolgist!!
the back story stinks b/c it’s important to the present but so so so draining to explain and then after a while you feel like you’ve burdened that person with your hum drum jerry springer life.
A friend was asking me the back story to my sister a few weeks ago and there is SO MUCH history there, that it got to be a sore thing for me. Not that I didn’t want this person to understand, it was just…. I don’t know how to explain it. I wanted to talk about it, but I was feeling rushed and after a bit I sounded whiney to myself. y/k?
Oh, speaking of the ‘Bucks, I need to take my friend Beka out to coffee sometime this weekend if I get a chance. :) She’s my co-coordinator for the orientation that is coming up soon.
Sorry. I digress. ;)
Heidi, I LOVE what you said! HA!! SO TRUE! And we can audibly HEAR the meteorologists voice…that’s big for me.
Oh, NO, Heidi! I’m so ADD tonight that “hair color” made me want to ask ‘Lece if she got my pics – and what she thinks of me with bangs… because it’s happening tomorrow! :D
Bran, I totally understand. Back-story is SO hard because it’s entwined in a lot of other back-story that is sorta-but-not-really related… and then it all gets mussed.
bran — yeah. i know what you mean. sometimes i want to be able to talk about my present, without having to explain the whole back story. and sometimes, there’s a freedom that comes in explaining it all again — and discovering that i’m able to tell it with less hurt or bitterness or anger. those times are rare. shame.
Back stories are like underbrush in Ca. Every once in awhile, we need to clear it and allow healing. So when new friendships do come or even restoring old ones, you start with a new crop.
Hope that makes sense.
roo — totally got it! sorry i didn’t answer yet. now that i know tomorrow’s the big day, i’ll send a reply tonight!
(you are gonna look even hotter!)
I’m caught up now.
Back-story is kinda like all the stuffed animals you still have in your house. Maybe they’re shoved into drawers, maybe they’re on your bed…but they go with you when you move, and they need explanation sometimes.
I found that recalling something can bring much clarity and right perspective sometimes.
Other times it helps me to feel sad about things that I didn’t at the time. That sounds morbid, but…I tend to shove things in places where I won’t have to think of them.
heidi — new crop as in don’t rehash that old stuff? or do rehash it?
completely understood.
And Roo, yes it is all entwined. *sigh*
Alece, I so much want to blog about my present b/c I want feedback or even just to know someone knows what’s going on, but usually the things I want to blog about concern family matters, and those people read my blog. So it all goes into an email or a phone call. I’m a great phone conversationalist….hahaha….I live on the phone…and the blog. *blush*
HA! Yeah, well… I hope the world can handle the hotter me. :D And no worries. I figured you were busy – I’m sure busy, myself.
“Other times it helps me to feel sad about things that I didn’t at the time. That sounds morbid, but…I tend to shove things in places where I won’t have to think of them.”
GIRL! That is so where I am at all the time…. I rarely cry about stuff b/c I don’t have time for it, but occasionally if I let myself go back and feel sad, I can finally deal with it.
bran — i hope you know i’m always an email, phone call, or text message away!
“because i don’t have time for it” — that’s what i tell myself, too. often it is that, but probably equally often it’s just that i’d rather NOT really face and feel.
i’m learning.
Oh, and… Alece… there was question about you getting it – my mom didn’t get it when I sent it to her around the same time, so… yep. No worries!
haha!
Did you read on Mandy’s blog where I said that I wanted to exchange numbers with some blog friends but was nervous too for fear of them realizing ‘oh I don’t like her’ haha!!
I should probably start doing that soon with some you. ;-) hehehe
(thanks, smiley!)
saying:
If we live in the present, we’re satisfied. But if we don’t deal with past healthy, then it suffocates us and we feel like we are being untruthful all over again
I want to start new friendships healthy. I want to be able to share my life good and ugly over a cup of tea on a comfy coach somewhere or even through email and be ABLE to say…
I was there… BUT GOD BROUGHT ME HERE!!!
oh yes, I’d prefer NOT to feel at times. It’s so much easier that way. ;-) Truly.
i didn’t read that comment… but you know? that’s been my biggest fear in all this. that somehow the me that comes across in the blogosphere is more alluring than the me in real life.
but i’m learning that i’ll have to find that out the hard way!
and === for the most part === i’m okay with that.
yeah, my big worry is I’m know I’m not as funny or witty or quick in real life. Not that I am so much on blogs, but I have the time to think about what I am going to say on here….and I get to back space. ;-) haha!
amen, heidi! amen!
backspace is definitely one of my closest friends. i think that may be the highest on the list of reasons i tend to prefer to type than talk!
I was there but God brought me here…..
sometimes I need to say “I’m still there” *blush*
Brandy- I can so relate. I’m so much more witty on the blogs.
YES! Me too! I tend to be a blurter…haha… and being online helps me curb that. And I can process what I am going to say before I say it…which is good in some instances.
And I don’t always want to respond right away, so a lot of times I’ll be reading comments on mine and not reply for a while, so I can think. Or if I read a post, I don’t always comment right away. I think. ;-)
Brandy: Agreed. But that doesn’t mean He’s not working. I just happen to move at the rate of a snail.
sometimes i need to say “i’m still there”
yes.
yes.
yes.
Heidi, isn’t it funny the freedom that blogs can give? Or at least the sense of freedom. I say things here I would NEVER say face to face. ESPECIALLY during our last comment chat about the heels and trenchcoats. HAHA!!
Brandy–
But your not..
If you were still back there.. you wouldn’t be here tonight!!!
and i think we CAN say “i’m still there” to those we trust the most. to those we are closest to.
I’m still there.
*raises hand*
Becca, true, He is working. I just feel stubborn at times. Like, I am afraid to move forward. That is the part of me that would feel embarrassed to say “I’m still there”
Alece, yes and yes again. ;-)
Okay, did I miss my own point.
Why would you want to be “there”?
in a general sense, i feel i need to be saying that more to everybody. i mean that i need to feel more comfortable with not appearing as though i have it all together (cause i clearly don’t).
but… in the specific sense of talking through those things, that should be reserved for sharing with those i trust and have a level of transparency and intimacy with.
I just feel like I’m more eloquent when I write, and I’m hardly funny on blogs. I feel like the bulk of my conversation, particularly when I meet people for the first time, is humorous.
I always want to refer people to my blog because I feel my heart sticks out there the best. Who knows, though.
Heidi :D *BIG SMILE*
Alece, agreed. It’s good to reveal that at some point.
I struggle with “going deep” at times though too…. b/c then it makes me deal with stuff. UGH. I was NOT a good counseling patient. HAHA!!
“I don’t have time to deal!” is usually what goes through my mind. ;-)
“Being there” — I don’t think it’s a desire as much as it is a confession.
yes (to becca)
why would you want to be there?
There is comforting sometimes…. for someone who struggles with change anyway. Okay, for instance (Alece help me out here)…. where was that conversation we had about opening the blinds?? Where we said the dark was sometimes comforting?
There is kind of like that.
Alece- I don’t have it together..
in example:
Trust me as the clocks ticks to my son’s surgery, I’m getting more jittery than ever.
But… If I live in the past… I can never get the blessings of the future.
oh definately a confession…. and a fear of moving forward.
When I was in counseling, it took her several sessions to get me to tell her what I was really thinking for the first few meetings. After that, I came to expect that she’d ask pointed questions, and I couldn’t skirt. Ha.
That doesn’t mean I mastered it. haha.
i have to remind myself of this fact often:
even jesus was closer to 3 of his 12 disciples.
that doesn’t mean he was unauthentic with the other 9, or even with the masses and crowds that followed him, listened to him, were touched by him. he just went to a different level of intimacy/authenticity with those 3.
I’m jittery right now. ;-) You’re in good company Heidi. ;-)
bran — http://gritandglory.com/2008/07/22/enlightenment/#comment-7493
Brandy- is the solace of the blinds because you already accomplished that and you feel like your successful.
But when the blinds open up are you scared away at the thought of “rehashing” or of failure?
different level….that is totally it.
I am “ME” with everyone, but the levels are different. I am never fake, b/c it’s not in me to be fake. But like you said before, just a different slice of me.
I hate the f word. I really really do.
and rehashing is never good….b/c in my experience, being authentic with certain people ALWAYS involves rehashing.
yes. i think i’m starting to get a heart-understand of what it means for ME to be authentic…
Oh, dear ladies – I think I am about to die. I didn’t get enough sleep last night, and tomorrow I’ll be doing the stressful haircut-at-a-totally-new-place thing. I might have to say goodnight. It’s been good (again. finally.)!
Becca, you just described my counseling. HAHA!!
It was like the floodgates opened when she finally got me to open up about my real issue…the underlying issue to everything. *sigh*
smiley — g’night, friend. thank you for jumping in on this with us. hope it’s been as good for you as it is for me! (“that’s what he said!”)
Roo.. You’ll have to show us photos!!
Goodnight new friend!!
*GASP* Haircut at a totally new place…..oh girl I feel for you…I’ve been here 4 months and have yet to go get mine done. I HATE starting a new place. And this comes from a regular “goin’ to get my hair done be back in several hours” girl. ;-)
OHHHHHHHHH. good one, ‘lece! you get a high-five for that one. and then some.
And I’ll be back soon. I love the girl time!
4 months?! bran – i started keeping track of you right before you moved. i can’t believe it’s been that long already!!
I so don’t get the “that’s what she said” thing. ?????
Night, Roo.
(I love you!)
i didn’t either — hang on, bran – i’ll find you a link!
I will post fotos on my blog. I’ve got many people waiting for them. ;) I’m ‘cited! And yes, I’m addicted to this blog. Nice, Brandy! My mom and I did it together for ages – we’d take off and get our hair done, and hit up the mall and Target. Goooood times.
yes ma’am….it has been that long. Crazy huh?
YOU TOO, Becca.
(I need your number.)
‘Lece, be expecting a call or a pic message tomorrow. ;)
I still email my hair lady from home. I love her. Oh do I love her. She was like a cheap counselor in between the expensive one. And a christian to boot! :lol: HA!!
Aaaaaaaaaaand, I’m out.
(bran — http://gritandglory.com/2008/07/25/four-minute-friday-uncensored/#comment-7658)
suh-weet, roo! can’t wait. ‘night, friend!
bran – “a cheap counselor in between the expensive ones.” — that’s what THIS is tonight! ha ha!
I’ve never paid for counseling
i’d make someone rich!
ALECE!!! I think I just woke up the ENTIRE neighborhood….that video clip was HILARIOUS!! OH MAN OH MAN!! Tears!! Insane giggling now…oh dear.
This IS counseling!!! Seriously. It’s great. :D
Becca, well techically I didn’t pay for it either. TriCare did. ;-) haha
heidi – whatcha thinking?
me neither… I just blog!!
and these blog-chats we have, both the insanely crazy and the deeply serious, are sooooo good for me.
take 2 of these and call me in the morning!
y’all are up late!!!
I can’t imagine what people say in the morning when they read these
mandy — YOU ARE! you’re gettin’ ready for this weekend, aren’t you!?!? :-)
We invited you.. Where did you go Georgia?
I did counseling before I knew blogging existed. ;-)
But seriously, it was much needed. LOL
OOOH Mandy graced us! You’re up late!
i’m usually like a deer in headlights…. but i haven’t even tried to read through tonite’s comments.
what’s this weekend?! :D
a whole slew of questions/thoughts have opened in my brain (like the proverbial can of worms)… sheesh.
Thank you for asking, but I didn’t want to be a busybody
B: i’m having a slumber party at my house this weekend…. poor drew.
How many comments are there?
Hopely Alece… You’ll write about them here!!!!
got earthquakes?
Because I would so be there!!!
i can’t believe you blogged through an earthquake today, heidi. that was wild.
I’d go to a slumber partay. If there were musical instruments involved.
It’s California!!
are you musical Becca?
Yep. I like to fiddle with a little geetar and drums.
a slumber party!! I wanna be cool and have a slumber party….seriously…. that sounds like fun!
hey look at you throwing slumber parties when you didn’t know anyone when you moved there…. I think of you often when I think “WHEN will I meet people?!”
oh how I want to play the geetar
I just lloked at your blog…
Are you in SA? and talk to ALece everyday?!!!
I cannot imagine the phone bill!!!
haha. I haven’t changed that in a long time. I’m in Wisconsin. I did the year-long internship with Thrive.
haha!!!
So what music do you fancy?
Becca, where in Wisconsin? That is where my best phone friend Toni lives. ;-)
“slumber party” conjures up weird childhood memories and running home in pajamas in the middle of the night from my bff’s house (we were neighbors).
shame.
but… i guess it could be fun as adults ????
ha!
imagine that all best friends are in WI..
Hmmm.. I’m left out.. Hmm I’ll have to work that out..
hmm… to play or to listen to? I’m currently listening to Michael Gungor. I wish I could pick like him. I love, love, love James Taylor. He has this voice that transcends time, and will forever have a “classic” sound.
I loved the intense and unique harmonies of the mammas and pappas, and I fancied John Denver’s stories…
but I also very much like Caedmon’s Call, Relient K, Nickel Creek, and John Mayer.
And Brandy: I live in the Milwaukee area. But my family is moving to Virginia in a few weeks!
But I would be so worried….
What would I wear!!
i know — who knew ’sconsin could be the place to be, eh?!?!
Al: i was never a fan of slumber parties growing up either… but, now, as an adult – it’s GREAT fun!!!
Bwan: you can come!!!
Shyah! We even have a pseudo vegas, called osh-vegas.
It’s everywhere you want to be: Wisconsin.
I’m more Chicago, Styx, and Jon Mcloughlin.
I love John Denver– so crazy!!!
“what would i wear!?” exACTly!
There we go… a blog title.
What do you wear to a slumber party?
is that the state slogan, becca? it should be if it isn’t! you could sell it to the governor and make millions.
chicago was a very technical, very fun band…Very full and involved band. I think they’re a little too much for me sometimes. We played a lot of their songs in high school for pep band. I played trumpet. Haha.
John Denver had a more powerful voice than people thought. Most people thought he couldn’t sing, and was kinda lame, but the truth is- he was down to earth, and sang what was on his heart. He wouldn’t have gone too much farther in the music industry, but he would’ve kept getting lots of tickets sold for shows because of his personality.
Happy Wednesday to you all…
Hey Mandy is twisted Wednesday up yet?
what do you wear?
something. ANY THING. please. or nobody’s invited!
bran only ever wears heels and scarves to her slumber parties.
no twisting this week… sorry. just plain ol’ whatever.
Brandy will bring the high heels and the scarf..
And I’ll bring the trench
“twisting”??
enlighten me.
Alece.. I didn’t refresh and look what happen..
Weirdo… I told you that we thought alike!!
ALECE!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
I was over reading Becca’s blog and I come back to find out you tellin my tricks! HAHAHAHA!!! OOOHHHHAHAHAHAHA!!!
like you keep ‘em secret!?
HAHAHAHA!!
True. True.
wow
Mandy!!!
Actually regular whatever is just fine with me.
Mandy’s blog had Whatever on every WEDNESDAY. I wish it was up now. WE could so hijack it.
You know Alece you’ve been there before.
Mandy, wow?? hahaha!! I think you would blush if we filled you in. hehehe
and yep, heidi. we do!!!
I’m on vacation, I’ll hijack it in the morning. :)
Thanks for reading my blog! I’m glad you liked the mormon story.
Haha.
I cannot stop giggling over the content of these comment chats….oh how the winds change. hahahaha
oh dear, mandypants. i just figured out that twisting comment — i thought you were still talking about not coming NEKKED to the slumber party. and i figured it was some hip new term i missed out on living in africa.
Are you lost, because Alece could totally find you that amazing link where Brandy just let her hair all out with some weird chick named Hilda!!!
oh my gosh Becca that was hilarious…only b/c I hate when they come to the door. I used to gather the boys and run down the hall and hide in our room until they left. HAHA! I hated it. Once I didn’t noticed them until they were at the door and me and the boys sat on the couch until they left. I’m SURE they could hear the boys saying “WHY ARE WE HIDING MOMMY?!” hahaha!!
WOAH!
hijacking. sigh. y’all are awful. want me to post it now? i can…. but then the party over here would be all confused!
Let my hair out with some chick named HILDA?!?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Oh my goodness this is HILARIOUS!!
I hate answering the door!!!
Unless it’s a present for me!!!
you have missed out on a lot in SA, but nothin’ about bein’ nekked. sorry! :)
brandy — i have memories of my mom doing the same thing with us, but it wasn’t just for mormons. it was for all sorts of people. when we ask her about it now, she vehemently denies it. does not remember it at all. yet we remember being huddled in the bathroom with her on many occasions. what’s up with that?!
I think we might be banned if we talk about high heels, scarves, and trenchcoats on WW though. ;-) he he he And boobs. I forgot the boobs.
).
).
*giggling*
no she didn’t.
yet somehow we got it into the FAT thing, brandy… i’m sure we can worm it into WW…
Alece, I hide sometimes when I am not “decent” enough to answer the door, which is pretty much every day. HAHA!! Seriously, I’m scary on a daily basis.
and breast feeding — nekked!!
Brandy- did you ever get your laundry done?
“no she didn’t”
I am dying. HA!!!!
Alece, true, very true. But didn’t we get ovulation in there first? HAHA!!
ok. it’s time for me to go.
y’all don’t do anything too crazy while the moon is out.
aaah. the timing of heidi’s comment actually fits right there! ha ha ha ha!
Heidi, I got *some* done, but man oh man do we have a lot of laundry. It’s ridiculous.
Oh yes, nekked nursing. hahaha!!
YOU got ovulation in there!!!
and mandy – don’t worry, we won’t do anything you wouldn’t do!
Mandy, I feel like I should howl or something. he he he
How the winds change!!!
oh yes, I got ovulation in there. *blush*
I should have gotten PMS in there instead. haha I got quite the surprise tonight. ugh. *sigh* My years of non menstruating bliss are over.
how quickly we digress…
There’s a breeze a blowin through the grit. You can expect boobs, high heels, trenchcoats, authenticity, tears, and all things girl. ;-)
this was your first in how long???
Welp, I’m gonna hit the hay, ladies.
i thought you don’t get your period back while you’re nursing??
umm…. okay here is the rundown…..
after Dylan I had MAYBE two that weren’t even anything really. And after Aidan it was the same…. but it’s been about two years since my last one. Ahhh that was nice.
the greatness of motherhood..
‘night becca! all this period talk did you in, eh?!
Becca goodnight friend!!
Night Becca! :D
Well, you don’t if you’re exclusively nursing, but since I’m an extended nurser, meaning I nurse even though he is older and can live off of solid foods and anything else to drink, my body produces way less now so it is kind of kicking back into gear. Sucks.
2 years?! that’s amazing.
each time was about a 2 year hiatus. SAWEET!
aaah – got it.
How long will he nurse?
yeah, basically my boobs are toast. hahaha!
long age wise? or how long each time?
at least they don’t droop to your belly button..
(( sheesh did I say that out loud))
age
oh heidi, they are close. Oh are they close. Elbows.
umm..that rocks. I did not know this.
Anyway, yes, I am departing from this conversation now. Thanks for letting me in on it.
sorry Becca…
thanks for all you added to it, becca. ’twas a wonderful conversation tonight!
well I nursed Dylan until 11 months (sad I didn’t make the year mark) and Aidan until he was 15 months. I’d like to nurse Owen until 2 but I think he might give it up before then.
Although, he does still nurse quite a bit.
It’s going to be so hard to give up. With the other two, when I have up nursing, I was always pregnant again so I knew I’d do it again in a few months…..not this time. :(
(I’m just sleepy, even though this is all very enlightening!..Haha)
Oh Becca, I would do it again just to skip the periods! hahaha! Well, or not.
I hope we get to talk again Becca
oooh honey what do you want to know? I’ll tell you anything about babies and what not. ;-) I love it. heehee
born to breed.
haha. I’ll keep that in mind for the future.
Nice talking with you guys!
I’m done!!!
Brandy doesn’t have teenagers!!!
WOW I cannot believe I am still up!!
I went to bed last night at 9!! Missed a chat with Love! :(
I should go ladies. ;-) I’m going to be dead tomorrow. ugh. and I still have a bazillion loads to do! ;-)
Love you both! This was fun! I’m glad I made it. ;-)
And Alece, expect those shoes soon!
(Heidi she caved and gave me her address yesssss!) heehee
are you planning on having more kids, bran?
Yeah I am done….for sure done. ;-) Jake is SNIPPED. hehe
Born to Breed….oh man that isfunny!
goodnight my friend!!!
Enjoy your day…
I need to find that trench now…
ouch.
and yes – way past all our bedtimes i think. thanks for this, girls. this was wonderful, wonderful!
I would have liked one more, but I can’t have anymore. I mean, I could PHYSICALLY have more…. but being pregnant is not good to my mental health. Seriously. That’s why I’m on medication now. Being pregnant so much in such a short amount of time really messed with my hormones. And plus Jake doesn’t want any more. AT ALL.
brandy – let’s to-be-continue that for another day. or in an email. i wanna talk to you about all that, if i can!
heidi — you did NOT just say that! ha ha ha! you go girl!
It’s only 10:30 here. No sleepy for me.
But I have several emails to write.
Love you girls!!!
This was awesome and totally church!!
right now, i wish i lived on the west coast! :)
hahaha!! Work that trench!! WORK.IT. hahaha!!
Alece, oh yes for sure continue it…in fact…to get you started on the “back story” I’ll send you a post I did about it a long time ago (not on this blog). ;-)
Night girlies!!
and yes – totally church!
why?
wanna go for a coffee?
the night is still young, heidi! enjoy it, trenchcoat and all!!
night, brandy – thanks!
Yeah…
Hubby is asleep, Iceman is playing with a hairdryer in his roos, and I have emails and this cup of balckberry burst tea.. night is young!!
g’night friend… talk to you soon.
Lovin and prayin friend!!
476 comments — WOW
You are neck and neck with symphony now!!!
We had some church here!!!
I even missed a few comments.
This morning I had church again.
Mmmm, I read through the ones I missed after bed, too.
Good stuff.
And now, over to the new post! :)
Hm… gave a quick glance to the convo… looks like you had a meaningful time.
Let’s see if I can express my thoughts clearly here…
So since Harrisburg (this is your city in South Africa right?:-/ ) … is six hours ahead of Cochabamba this conversation that took place from 10:00pm to 1:30am would have happened from 4:00am to 7:30am (my time and your current furlough time) if you had been operating in South Africa during your regular nocturnal ‘office hours’. Now, you are totally worth conversing with at any stinking time of the day or night because you are just so so very awesome and such a congenial blog host; but maybe I can be a fuddy duddy and humbly ask if you would be so kind as to schedule these chats so we can plan for them in the future. You know, like take a nap because we have a date with Alece at 3 or 4 in the morning. But, the spontaneity is part of the wonder of it all. So – you do what you like. It may be that these ’slumber parties’ are just a part of this furlough season of your life. And we will enjoy them while we can. Live in the moment already, Angie. :-) Those are my thoughts. Am I off base or out of line? I want to know, seriously. You can tell me like it is.
I love you, Alece. It is an honor to call you friend.
oh wow I’m not even going to try and catch up with this post! I hope you are all having fun on here. Just out of curiosity whats the most comments you have gotten on a post? Oh and I see you are even with another writer on the poll! I will keep voting for yours, because after all it is the best! (even though I didn’t read ALL of the others, hehe)
I voted.
Ohohoh, @ngie!
The time is set to her New York time right now. So it was actually *behind* Bolivia time, I think! :D
Roo…
How’s the haircut?
Go check my blog… I’m diggin’ it!
Roo – It is 8:06
(This is a test – it is only a test…)
Same as New York time, right now. :-)
Yay!
Feel free to join in on the fun – I didn’t think we were that far off on time schedules! :)
Hope to catch you on sometime soon, friend.
heidi and roo — thanks for catching up this morning and having church again. last night rocked.
@ngie — (harrismith…) my blog is set on NY time right now; the spontaneous chat was from 10PM-1:30AM. i do think when i get back to SA i might try to schedule some of these in, as i’m going to miss them so much. up until now, they’ve mostly just erupted on their own. last nights started a bit differently. there was a conversation topic that heidi and i wanted to reconvene about, and i made sure becca could be there for it… but it still wasn’t really scheduled; we all just happened to be free and able to hop on right then to talk!
faith – i think puppy love takes the cake with 1,041 comments!
melissa – thanks for coming by. and for voting. who’d you vote for?! ;-)
EVERYONE — i’m still second on the story contest… sigh.
Shame, ‘Lece.
I should go to the library tomorrow or Friday and raid the computers.
1. your ’story’ is pretty terrible
2. do you not feel bad soliciting votes from people who a) state that they liked another story, but b) voted for you out of loyalty?
3. it’s not a popularity contest; it’s a writing contest. true, it’s not a big deal– it’s not even a $$ prize. but if you win, it’s because you have a blog, not because your writing was superior.
4. I entered my story as well– it hasn’t been posted yet– and i spent 6 hours writing/revising it. I hate the idea that the whole contest is going to boil down to a ‘who has more internet friends’ thing. if it were a popularity contest, you would win… but it’s NOT.
5. clearly, objectively, your story does not deserve to win. it’s full of cliches, ambiguities, abstracts. it’s a sweet idea, but… really. even you have to admit that it’s not near the top of the batch
6. WWJD?
also
We end up on the merry-go-round. I wish the playground version wasn’t called the same thing as the large, ride-a-horse-up-and-down-while-listening-to-creepy-
carnival-music version. But it is.
it’s called a carousel.
I… um… gr.
I really want to tear apart those arguments, because I don’t think they’re valid. But I don’t think it’s my place. So I’m just going to say that:
A) That was rude.
B) I honestly liked Alece’s story the best.
C) That was so rude.
Hmpfh.
Alece dear , in the past you have been the Great Diffuser. I am interested in knowing how you handle this one.
Oh, and just so you know I had the same doubts about the merry-go-round in my original reading of this article… trusty wikipedia says that it is indeed both.
And finally, hate it or not, how can it not be about internet friends when the poll is on the internet?
Your story is very good Alece.
I LOOOVE when people go to someone else’s blog, criticize them, leave RUDE comments, and then DON’T leave a link back to them in some way.
Besides, everyone only gets to vote ONCE, so how is that unfair?? *shrug*
C — when there’s an online competition that encourages normal people to read and vote, the results may be a bit skewed from what they’d be if the entries were judged only by seasoned writers or editors. it sounds like the latter is more what you had in mind when you entered this contest. in future, you may want to submit your essays only to competitions that are judged by professionals.
i believe all of us who entered the contest did so because we want to be better writers. in that same vein, thank you for your criticism. i’m digging for the grain of truth in your words.
i wish i knew your full name so i could keep an eye out for your story in the coming weeks of the contest.
be blessed.
friends — thank you. sincerely.
c- carousels have horses and you don’t find them on the playground of a local park. If you knew the story behind the story you would know that.
A good editor would always find out the facts first.
But you see C. I am a friend of this writer and that story didn’t only inspire me, it also moved me into rekindling friendships and starting new ones.
Sir or maam…. be blessed and have a good night!
someone is still holding a grudge about not making homecoming queen.
[In my professionalism and kind etiquette, i most definitely don't want to say that I want to slap C in the back of the head, so I won't.]
heidi — this post is actually what started our friendship. you emailed to tell me about how what i wrote inspired you to have that difficult reconnection conversation with an old friend… and voila! here we are. a-mazing!
cathi — if i had been eating or drinking something when i read that, it surely would have come out my nose.
Cathi- you are too much..
Yes, Alece I have the first post saved to my computer. alas and voila here we are..
God Incredible amazing.
Cathi, I’m trying to be all sentimental and all I can think is Homecoming queen, if C is a guy, that’s one Hairy homecoming queen..
Alece love ya
oh, heidi…the term “queen” was very intentional! Every. stinkin. bit.
I heard there’s a good sale of wax at K-mart.
It’s even a blue -light special
girls, girls…
*giggling*
(lots and lots of it!)
alece, “i’m digging for the grain of truth in your words.”
that was priceless. digging. ha.
:D I’m eager to see if C shows up again. :D
To be completely fair I decided I would need to read them all and vote for the best writing. … But besides being short on time, I became deeply concerned where that road might take me.
So I decided to be a fan instead and vote for the hometown writing queen instead. Then I read her story.
And loved it. I could see girls of any age playing out this story.
But be warned, if we ever go head-to-head … grrrr
And if I ever stumble across a story written by an author named C, I will endeavor to offer equally encouraging comments on the brightest aspects of his/her story. Because whenever I see someone sinking in the waters, I will stretch if necessary to help pull them up.
color — why thank you. i liked it too. ha!
roo — no sign of s/he yet!
ric — thanks for your comment. it made me chuckle!
It’s about 9:15, and I am sitting at my kitchen table. I just reread all these comments. I was encourged too by an email I had saved in my inbox.
I miss you tonight. You are so deep on my heart.
I prayed for you.
Not sure really why tonight of all nights..
Love you
look at you going back in time… you made me smile!