four-minute friday: uncensored
Go.
No preconceived ideas on what I’ll write this time, McNiely. We’ll take this one exactly as it comes.
Holy crow—By next Friday, you’ll be in the same time-zone as me! I still won’t have seen you (seriously?!), but at least we’ll both be on the east coast of America. I’ve had July 31st in my brain as D-Day for months; I guess I need to reprogram it with August 8th. Get ready for the tightest hug and longest kiss of your life.
I love that I’m meeting you in DC. That makes our reunion seem so much more romantic and alluring. (No one needs to know we’re going there for business.) I’ve always wanted to be able to say something as chic as “I’m meeting my husband in DC.” And now I can. Yessss! Doesn’t it sound so… so… like we’re gonna have hot, wild sex all weekend? (Am I allowed to say that in the blogosphere?) It does kinda sound like that, doesn’t it. You should try it out. Go ‘head and say it. Although definitely say “wife” instead of “husband”.
I’m ready to see your face, play with your hair, kiss your lips, and smack your butt. Among other things.
I just have one question: How are you feeling now about us staying in a host home the first night together after 11 weeks apart????
Done.
YAY, you’re finally seeing your man after 11 weeks!
Hahahaha *blush* hahaha this is amazing! im so excited for yall to finally be together again. it would be really funny if baby thrive happened on this reunion. :) what a story.
“well son/daughter, it all happened one day when we had been apart to long. and then we met in DC. the rest is history.”
is it just me, or is it hot in here?
i think my computer screen is smoking…
some how this bothers me cus ive known you since you were tiny tiny tiny,
ok im over it…GET A ROOM!. :)
OH! MY!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! HAHAHA!!!
Don’t forget a scarf. ;-)
so if there’s a first time blog reader today…i’m thinkin they’re coming back!!! i can’t wait to see anti’s response to this one!!!
Oh my!! I am going to say this occasion definitely calls for a nice hotel room! Theres nothing like great sex when you don’t have to think about waking someone in the next room! (and this is speaking from experience, when we first were married we had an apartment with thin walls. My brother and his new wife lived on the other side and we always woke up to hear them screaming and fighting. Lets just say they always woke up to other kinds of screams! When we moved into our house I was so excited to know that no one would hear anything! Now Dan’s always worried I will wake Conrad, oh well!) So Neil how about it? Just get a room and have a blast! (oh that sounds bad! just have fun!)
“no one needs to know we’re going there for business”
IT’S BUSINESS TIME!!!!!
Bran you took my line!!!
Ok.. A very Long trenchcoat.. That’s all you need!! Trust me!!
Okay you need a room with a jacuzzi and mirrors and some mood music.. ok not motel 6.
Have him take you to Ritz or something..
11 weeks you DESERVE the BIG hello.. Not the Shhh honey we are making too much noise.
just sayin
(don’t forget your “I’m a little teapot” outfit….) surprised nobody said that yet. Ha.
oh. my. wooooooRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!
(having Niel in the next room as I read this was kinda wierd!)
HEIDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What!!!
She’s married!!!!
She hasn’t seen NEIL IN 11 weeks……
Oh Alece started it anyways. :)
you guys are CRACKING me UP!
hannah — that made me laugh. mostly, i think, because you said it!
mandy — crank up that A/C!
klampert — oh dear… yeah, slightly awkward considering we used to play hide-n-seek together. “go get a room!” — i’m tryin’!
bran — you made me laugh out loud!
jon mark — i can’t wait to see his response either!
faith — i blushed just reading your comment! i’m always always always surprised by you! oh my… when you have some time, i think you’d enjoy reading the comment dialogue on this post. it’s right up your alley: http://gritandglory.com/2008/07/11/guess-not-the-jeans/
cathi — i totally thought that when i wrote it! ha ha ha!
heidi — you made me burst out laughing. i never expected that from you. phew boy, that was funny.
becca — already got it packed and ready!
christen — ha ha ha! AWKWARD!!!!! (sorry, friend!)
why not?
bring it on, friend. i loved it.
This is your friend in the reals…
I love Jesus and I can be the holy than thou at times.
But down deep,
I’m a little bit of a rebel brewing..
well we’re brewin’ together today, aren’t we?!
yUP.. what’s this teapot thingie?
http://gritandglory.com/2008/04/26/oh-dear-2/
Oh duh… I remember now…
I think a trenchcoat and scarf will work too..
See an outfit for each day!! :)
i need to go shopping.
HA!
I’m laughing a *lot* right now. But inside. Because I don’t want to have to explain to the lady of the house I’m staying in this summer. ;)
wouldn’t THAT be a funny conversation!
“well, this missionary i know…”
YES.
And now I’m smiling and cringing. All at once.
ha ha ha ha! come on, you know you want to have that conversation… if only so you can blog about it!
I don’t know if I’d be able to handle blogging about it.
My mom reads my blog. And, occasionally, my grandparents. And *whispering* David.
I might be red. ;) Or entirely kidding.
You mean missionaries do that?
roo — all right, all right… too bad i can’t get you to involuntarily laugh out loud!
heidi — THESE missionaries do!
wow. all y’all (especially heidi) wow.
@roo
My pastors read mine.. No way in heck…
I’m old – mental picture.. Old people having rompas.. Not a picture for the preachers.
“not a picture for the preachers”! ha ha ha ha!
what was tam’s word: huggaboochin?!?!
Mandy — What??
It’s Alece’s fault really!!!
Tam would be all over this covo..
Yup huggaboochin..
I can’t believe it’s 10 in the morning and I’m talking about huggaboochin.
Did she ever tell us where she got that word?
no, it’s actually mandy’s fault. somehow, everything is always her fault.
yeah – she said it was on grease 2, which i’ve still yet to see.
“it’s 10 in the morning and i’m talking about huggaboochin”! oh you are on a roll today!
Yes. I agree. Mandy gets the blame.
wha ah sh muh eh um weh
no words
one word, tam: huggaboochin.
Come on Tam
You can say it before 11 a.m.!!
I have
I always find these comment conversations hard to follow- but some one up above said something about “Missionaries do that?” Well, isn’t one of the positions called “Missionary position?”
christen — sometimes i find them hard to follow, but the crazy fun that ensues in my comments are about the highlight of my day!
and yep — they didn’t name it that for nothin’!
42 comments. Wow. I am in awe.
I wonder WHY they named it that…. hmmm
total — that’s all you can say? we rendered you speechless, didn’t we?!
christen — ask niel to explain it to you… ;-)
HAHAHA!
totally rad.
And….hubby and I find that having to stay “mum” in other people’s houses…is EXTREMELY fun!
LOL, are you SERIOUS?
joy — mum can be fun… but… not after 11 weeks of celibacy.
christen — JUST KIDDING!
oh PHEW!
whatever you do, don’t look it up on wikipedia. take my word on it.
yeah, but now that’s like a temptation too strong to resist!
whatever doesn’t kill you just makes you stronger.
I’ve discovered that bridal showers here at college can get interesting…
Yes, this relates, Christen and Alece…
oh yeah????
do tell.
in the words of michael scott, “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!!!”
OH MY COW Kitten!! You went out of your box with this one… I think even I’m blushing. You go girl ;)
D-day is now the 8th, huh? It’ll be here before you know it…
Look out Nigel… what your baby wants, your baby gets… and I think it’s YOU!!!
And that was definitely NOT cheesy.
Umm…Alece…should I, like, unsubscribe…? :neutral:
mark — i don’t get it. (don’t watch the office.)
kitty — i laughed out loud at your 12 lemon reference. “what my baby wants, my baby gets”. i love it!!! and yes, thank you for noticing (and acknowledging) that this was WAY out of the box for me!!!
TNE — wow. i’m gonna lose readership over this one! yikes.
Ok, so are you going to blog AFTER the reunion??? LOL So glad you guys will be together again!!!! I don’t think there’s a thing wrong with what ya said…after all you have a license right??? ;)
Um, something about a book of positions… and passing it around. No, thanks. *hands it to the next person*
uhhhhhawkward!
deb — phew (wiping sweat from brow). thanks. now… i just need to find that license…
roo — ha ha ha! yeah. i’d have done the exact same thing back then. i’d still pass it along now… but secretly go find it later and check it out! (BLUSH!)
HA! Yep. I’m still cringing.
oh man!!! it would have been so perfect! sorry, my bad!
‘xplain me, mark!
K.. back
Somethin like work got in the way..
a book?
yeah explain Mark!
HA! That’s what she said jokes…
;)
ah! this is so funny! I’m going to victorias secret today, I will let you know if I see anything you might like.
hahaha, this is cracking me up! yay for missionaries who get married and perfect that uhh what did you call it again. i think i blush to much to say it. missionary position? i dont even really know what that is, not sure i want to till i get married. hehe!
First time to your blog. Read todays post, made me laugh. I will have to spend some time reading your back story. Have fun in D.C :)
faith — your favorite store!
hannah — i so would never have jumped in a conversation like this before i was married. so high-five for jumping into the deep end with us. and… just call it “huggaboochin”. you won’t blush as much, and it’s just funny to say! :-) ha ha.
lisa — kind of a scary first-day-visitors post. i sure made you feel welcome, didn’t i?!?! sheesh. i swear i don’t always blog like this. this was WAAAAAY out there for me!
but… awkward topic aside, i’m glad you’re here!
Lisa don’t leave…
Awesome blog… it’s TGIF day and we are letting out hair out.
Come back and you’ll be AMAZED by this woman.
Hey Alece I got our tacos waiting.
Yummo they are good and tasty!!
When are you comin they are gettin cold!!
man, i would LOVE a taco right now. that reminds me: i’m starvulating. i should go eat something today!
ok, michael scott is the office manager on The Office. he usually (at least once every episode) takes something that someone says and turns it into a sexual comment by saying, “that’s what she said!”
i would put an example here but i would hate to royally embarrass myself so, here’s a youtube clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmlhwpnswJI
[copy and paste it]
[cathi said it would be perfect so i don't want any, "mark's a pervert on my blog!!]
Huggaboochin….hmmm is that anything like belly slappin’? Just curious :roll:
Do you think LI and SD is too far to commute?
I have an extra!!
Huggaboochin is in Wikepedia.
It’s a Tam word Deb!!!
mark –i love that you asked for spousal permission first! THAT rocks. and thanks for that video. hilarious. i think i need to get me some seasons of the office on DVD to take back to africa with me… hmmm…
deb — yep! one and the same. or how about bumpin’ uglies? that’s another tam-ism.
heidi –a bit far to drive. i wonder how well a taco would fare in the mail…
Yeah 2750.82 miles to be exact!!!
I’m free for dinner..
let’s do it! :-)
Don’t tempt me.. I go on vaction in 4 hours and 2 minutes!!! :)
you do?!?! where to?!?!
Home :)
My baby son Isaac is having surgery next week, So I take off my Allstate cap and put on my “mom” hat.
ohhhhh… how old is isaac? what kind of surgery?
Isaac is 7
He was born with cleft lip and palate. The best way describe( half a nose and a split lip and palate)
Long story about all this, bus this is hit 9th surgery. This time they are taking bone marrow out of his groin and breaking his jaw to insert the bone marrow so he can form teeth in the front.
This surgery is intense but not the worst he has had.
He is a HERO
a most recent pic (not the best)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8518167@N06/2308740075/in/set-72157606133905969/
ahhhh I’ve learned many Tam-ism’s over the years…..I’m contemplating a book “Tam’s talk” It would be a best seller I’m sure LOL
I’ll buy it Deb!!
I deserve an award. I just read through EVERY.SINGLE.COMMENT. and didn’t wake my kids up from laughter.
WOW. I am SO BUMMED I chose today to lay off the computer while the kids were awake. *grumble*
SERIOUSLY!!! This is hilarious!!!
Heidi, you send her a trenchcoat. I’ll send her a scarf and heels. I’m tryin’ to get her to wear some spiked heels as well. She won’t budge. :lol:
crap I forgot the :lol: won’t work here. ha!!
ok.
so you both are gonna bump uglies in someone elses home after not seeing each other for 82 years AND you’re gonna try to be quiet.
hehe…i never thought i’d say this for a situation like this, but…id love to be a ‘blind’ fly on a wall in THAT house.
wha?!?!
“after not seeing each other for 82 years”
Really, that long?! She sure looks young for someone who is at least 82 years and one second old.
how can it be so “bump uglie” if its so enjoyable
heidi — wow. wow. wow. i don’t even know what to say. you are even more my hero now than you were this morning. i’ll be praying. thanks for sharing with me.
deb — can i preorder a copy of “tam’s talk”?
BM — i’ll send you your award after you send me those heels.
tam — no flies allowed! this conversation (and possibly the one that may follow the DC weekend) are as close as flies are allowed to get!
total — i’ve got good genes.
heidi — the tamster can take that one.
Isaac is the hero and pretty darn cute!!! looks like the milkman.
Just kidding. looks like both of us. Temper like his dad and the love for people like Jesus.
God rocks when it comes to LIL Iceman.
isaac is adorable. “looks like the milkman” – oh dear, you are really funny today. you’ve got TGIF and ready-for-vacation down to a science.
you and your family are precious…
Thanks!!
Those pics of me in there do NO justice by the way!!
Gotta run dear, I got 2 hrs and 13 minutes, I guess I truly should work.
See later tonight.
Lovin and Prayin!!!
Your blog is better than a Spanish soap opera!
Fun post! You make me laugh. Enjoy your man!!
heidi — go earn that salary! :-)
angie — i don’t know if that’s a compliment or not… but… thanks! ha!
shea — thanks, friend. i’ve been chuckling all day about this…
Better usually indicates good. (wink)
phew!
you’ve got a birth,
flooding,
evacuation,
an emotional passing,
a sexy heart-throb miles away from his damsel in distress,
and friends with witty and emotional comments all along the way to keep it interesting…
now all you are missing is outrageous costumes and feuding families… well you do have the outrageous costumes part.
when are you publishing your auto-biography? you could fund a lifetime of mission work with the sales on that priceless treasure!
ha – i loved your summary of my blog in recent months. and you know what? i’ve even got the feuding families. so … apparently my life is a soap opera! ha ha!
but see… when i sit and really think about writing a memoir, my mind goes blank. i’ve got nothing worth saying. hmph.
Pretend you are writing about someone else’s life using your experiences as an outline…
You remind me of Lydia Christensen, her hubby (derek prince) wrote her biography as she dictated to him the events. Have you read “Appointment in Jerusalem”?
no… never heard of it.
hmmm…
absolutely NO HOST HOME the first night together…girl you will be 2 hours from me in DC…you two seriously need a room…I am going to pray for GOD to make that happen… I would just die if it were my first night back with HUbs and there were people around…I would definitely not be good company for anyone else.
thanks, darla! :-)
i should start a “hilton honeymoon suite” fund…
It is a very good book. I hadn’t heard of it until last year either – but it is not new.
She was a successful Danish teacher and the Lord pricked her heart for the people of Jerusalem. She ended up having a ministry to orphans and adopted like eight kids before she met her husband. Fascinating story – I think you would like it.
Anyway, she refused to write about her life for the same reasons you are giving. So her husband helped her. The funny thing is that his biography came out a little over a year ago (he lived longer than she did) and it was written by someone else that he dictated to. I read both of their biographies back to back and was just enthralled the whole time.
It might have been that I was interested in their stories because it was at a small store front church meeting that Derek Prince spoke at when I gave my life to the Lord at just eight years old.
wow. she sounds like an incredible woman. and how amazing that her husband was the speaker at church the day you gave your life to the Lord. i’m sure you read the books with unique eyes for that reason…
i’ll definitely check them out! thanks for the tip.
but see… when i sit and really think about writing a memoir, my mind goes blank. i’ve got nothing worth saying. hmph.
Are you serious!? Maybe I need to learn a lesson in humility from you. I get the mind going blank part… but the nothing worth saying part – not so much. :-)
(I meant to italicize that quote from your comment)
Seriously though… maybe when I come to South Africa on my sabbatical I will just sit next to you with a tape recorder and then make my millions off the book I write about you. :-) We will split the profits, of course. :-)
(When I got back from Santa Cruz DaRonn goes, “So you are going to Africa next right? When is your trip?” :-) He knows my heart.)
“we will split the profits, of course” – ha ha ha! sounds like a great plan. no more fundraising for us! than we missionaries can focus on better things… like, hot steamy sex with our husbands.
(awww… that’s so sweet that daronn asked that! and yes, come!)
Ah ha ha ha! Yes ma’am – we have to have our priorities!
fo’ sho’!
keep the main thing the main thing.
when i go to that fine city i try to do all those things fine people do….
i go visit the big man, pay my respects to him by reading his stuff on his blog of granite
i take a walk besides still waters next to the presidents swimming hole
and i sit and ponder all the wonderful things the city and its people has to offer
that is what i do in the fine city…
my man niel says he heard from a reliable sourse that that he might need to get a little physical with the lady of the blog….
he says he might need a manuel as it has been so long he thinks he cant remember how to do it …
i told him someone said that it i slike riding a bike .. once your on, it kinda all comes back to you.
he says remembering doing it as a young one but are looking forward to be taught all over again in his old age…something about old dog learning new tricks…
he says he might then want to move to that city if he is going t get all that excitement he heard is promised to him..
he says america aparently is a land filled with all kinds of amusement parks and marry go rounds and so on..and so he is looking forward to go and experience these climatic events as he never has in africa..
he says he thinks he needs to be shaving for this special event in that fine city and suggest the same to the lady of this blog as it is apparently a wonderfull thing like brazilian coffee..
he was wondering if he should pack and use a jacket when he goes to the city as he heard their might be showers involved this time of the year..
he did say that he is most excited about just seeing the lady of this blog and talking and walking beside the still waters of the big man..
ok and to the rest of you … dont you people have work to do seriously sitting here typing all day like a bunch of bloggers
oh my… i have tears streaming down my face. THAT was funny.
lincoln’s “blog of granite” — man, you’re good.
the lady of the blog says you’re hot!
“I just have one question: How are you feeling now about us staying in a host home the first night together after 11 weeks apart????”
My first question is how thick are the bedroom walls in the house, or the kitchen walls, or the laundry room walls (it is always fun to see if you can make it through the spin cycle), depending on your preference.
After 11 months apart, you could always make it a long ride back to the house.
I hope you have remembered to tell Niel that Airport security does check for whips and handcuffs, I am just saying.
K.. I had to peak.
Oh my gosh…. how sweet and hilarious at the same time.
Oh yea, anti I do have the time.. Vakay has started ((giggle))
peek
i’d say, “get a room”…but well, you know.
Brilliant. I hope you both pack your business socks.
What a day for lurking!!
ed — spin cycle?!?! oh my cow, you had me blushing big time. and… it’s 11 weeks, not months. i’d go nutso (even more than i already am!) if i was apart from my man for almost a year!
cathi — i’m workin’ on it!
natalie — i’ve got mine all ready. locked and loaded.
michelle — you’ve been lurking?! what do YOU make of all this madness!?
I don’t know how you’ve done it. I’ve never been away from Phat for more than a week. And when he returned I couldn’t hug him long or hard enough, I felt desperate without him.
I still do. I think I’m co-dependent but that’s OK if you’re married, right?
I say make hotel arrangements. The W has sound proof rooms.
Just sayin’.
michelle — i can’t help but ask: Phat?!?!?!
and niel and i have traveled separately a lot over our almost-8 years of marriage. ministry/missionary life (for us anyway) has demanded it. i’m “used to it” in a lot of ways and have come to really enjoy my times of solitude when i have them (much more so now than in the early years), but this stretch is really long. and there’s been so much going on in my life that it’s made it much harder to be apart from him.
thanks for the heads up about the W! good to know! ha ha ha!
Not feeling well can make the separation harder, maybe that’s why I hate it so when he leaves for a week of business. But you seem to be a very strong woman, a rock and all!
Yes…Phat. I just do that to bug him. His online name in Comic Phat – he’s all that – or so he says. His real name is Gary.
For all my serious side, he’s the jokester. He laughs continuously. Opposites attacting…
I admire you greatly, Alece. God has called you to a wonderful ministry and great life for His glory. You are blessed.
yes, it’s definitely worse when i’m not feeling well. i would imagine that makes it really hard for you to have him be gone as well…
“comic phat” eh?! that’s hilarious. he sounds like he’s a ball of fun.
thank you for saying you admire me; that means a lot.
It’s kind of easy, Alece. You have given your life for God and others. You’re a beautiful woman with a heart of gold AND a sense of humor. From what you’ve shared here, wisdom flows from your pen and I’m assuming it must come from your heart. A true gift from God.
ok…eyes leaking…time to go.
oh man oh man oh man oh man!!!
I just read through all the comments I’ve missed since my comments.
ED!! SPIN CYCLE!!! I had to cover my mouth to muffle that laugh!! This is by far one of the best comments sections, next to the “guess” comments.
LOVE LOVE LOVE AB’s comment. Oh my word I thought I was going to pee my pants from holding in laughter. I needed a release somewhere!!!
Al, I’m emailing you for your mailing address. You better give it up missy.
Well, I mean, your address, to me. The other “it” goes to Niel.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wow, michelle… thank you for pointing out what you see in me. i forget too quickly how powerful that can be to the person on the other end. you are such an encouragement!
BM — between this one and the “guess” one, somehow all our wacky comment conversations end up back on the subject of huggaboochin. i don’t know how that happens. well this time, i was kinda askin’ for it with my post. but NOT with the “guess” one. that just kinda came up out of nowhere!
“give it up missy”… niel can tuck away that line to use later…
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I’m sure Niel has a few better lines!!! heehee
And yes dear, you were totally asking for it on this one! ;-) Totally!!
Just remember to ask for it later too. ;-) Begging is good.
WHA?!
you are on FIYAH!
hahahahaha!!! I’m so hot I could cook a steak. A nice meaty rump roast. heehee
I sent you an email. I expect a response before monday so I can be at the post office Monday morning! hahahahaha!!!
wait, steak and rump roast…..not the same thing.
I suck. In a funny dorky way. ha!
in south african restaurants, there’s almost-always a steak cut called…
(wait for it….)
…
ladies rump.
Holy cow
ladies rump??
LADIES RUMP! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*Baby Got Back!*
i’m not even kidding you.
Okay… is it small and petite or big and fatty?
just sayin
small but thick.
ya know… a little junk in the trunk.
I know! It’s so funny!!!
Okay, I’m checkin’ out. :( Battery is half gone, need to put Mr. O in bed, and then get busy sorting laundry.
Why can’t we all be nudists???????? Why can’t I just blog and blog and blog all day and night? WHY?! WHY?! WHYYYYY!?!?!
I so love you!
p.s.
email
get
on
it
p.p.s.
You could also say to Niel “lets hop on the good foot and do the bad thang”
A personal favorite of Jake’s. Oh he kills me.
bran - how can you say something like “let’s hop on the good foot and do the bad thang” and then get offline? this jakester of yours is krazy!
nudists? umm… no thanks. i’m all for the all-day-and-night blogging. but i’d rather do it clothed. comfy clothes, but certainly fully clad.
email… you don’t even know my size!! and you can’t send me shoes. seriously. you—uh—need ‘em just as much as i do!
nite Bran
Dang.
This is the best comment section yet!!
oh my gosh. I have laughed so hard that I have snorted, cried, peed (TMI) and wanted to come back for some more!!!
Okay I waited for your response…so I’m still here….briefly…b/c I love doing laundry so much.
Jake is krazy. I tell him often. haha!!
I’m going to guess your size since we are the same height.
Heidi, get her address will ya?! She needs some heels! The girl needs some heels! Crazy loud sex has to be started in some spiky hooker heels!!!
Time is short! GET.ON.IT!!!! hahahaha!!!
Heidi, I peed my pants last night when I threw something upstairs to Jake. Seriously. THese boys, they have ruined me.
I have decided to multi task….feed Owen while typing and THEN get off. That buys me some time. ;-) haha
fishnet stockings???
FO SHO!!
Sister after my own heart!
cindy — dang straight!
heidi — ha ha ha! thanks for the pee confession!
bran — if you’re insistent, i’ll email you my size too because i’d hate for you to waste a pair of shoes… “crazy loud sex has to start in spiky hooker heels” — oh my cow, that’s hilarious.
you multi-taskin’ mama, you!
and heidi, brandy does NOT need any assistance in “ho-out-alece” department…
oh your cow it IS hilarious and it somehow helps add to the volume. Not sure why. *shrug* hahahaha!!!
Also, Niel said Brazillian. I saw it. He did. He said Brazillian.
red lipstick!! and the teapot dress!!
red lipstick!! and the teapot dress!!.
ho out alece!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!
HO 101
Instructors: Brandy and Heidi
Materials Needed: spikey hooker heels, trenchcoat, fishnets, scarf.
i wondered if you’d catch that, brandy. that’s the part where i laughed so hard i cried.
i am cracking up over here.
roll call: hot sexy mama? HERE!
CHECK!
I can see the headlines in the church newsletter.
Missionaries from SA hoed out on the hide a bed in their host Home..
you got get a room
that’s the part I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants!!
Heidi, is that what did it for you?! haha
Seriously, you need to get a room. Seriously.
We should start a fund for you!!!
“Help Huggaboochin Homies Ho it up!”
heidi — oh my wombat! no no no no… i’m blushing already in the anticipated embarrassment. i’m gonna set up a lemonade stand tomorrow to make some money to “get a room!”
BRANDY!!!
yup!
Even if they don’t HEAR you, they’ll KNOW what’s going on. That’s almost worse! B/c then they could be trying to make sure they don’t hear anything by first making sure there’s something they’re not supposed to hear….ya know? hahaha!!
I remember the first time that happened to us….oh it was bad. I don’t think we succeeded.
Then, when the parents would come stay with us….ugh….even worse!!!
wha? What’d I say?
heehee *evil laugh*
Brandy I just choked on my Hot tamale!!
I’m crying really!!
“i don’t think we succeeded”… sometimes that happens, bran…
oh no….we “succeeded” ;-) But I don’t think we succeeded quietly.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! I can’t stop lauging. This is nuts!
I said nuts.
You wait Alece!!!
Just at that moment.. KNock Knock
Mom! mom !
Then open sesame.. It you and your husband nakety with a child looking at you… Hmmmm
is all you can say..
okay — slightly changing the topic — my blogging habits are going to have to CHANGE majorly when mr. hottypants and i are back together. i’ve been spending hours on-end on here, and i don’t know how you guys actually do that while maintaining your lives and marriages (and you two have kids!)
I think somewhere an anti blogger is blushing.
heehee
yes, brandy. you said nuts.
and… note to self: always lock bedroom door.
(i wonder if he’ll ever read all these comments!)
Alece dear I was JUST thinking that when you go back to SA this probably won’t happen….”live chatting” or “live emailing” like it does now. :( That makes my heart twinge just a bit.
I neglect Jake and then make up for it with spikey heels and a scarf for an outfit. hahahahaha!!!!
Seriously though, we talked last night about both of us cutting back on our addictions….him and the tv and me and the blogging….which is why I was barely on earlier today. New rule….none when the kids are up.
well, except for Mr. O. ;-)
Okay ahemm seriously here.
Today i got absolutely NOTHING accomplished..
But that’s okay…..
But it was ssssoooooooooooooooooooo much fun!!
aaaaah… that’s good. yeah, i’m guessing niel and i will have to have the “boundaries talk”. i think i’ll be the only one needing to cut back on something though… and that kinda sucks. and i’ll miss my blog-family so much. sheesh.
I’ll make it up tomorrow
sorry, heidi. and sorry, heidi’s boss.
my house is a disaster area and we are all naked. I wasn’t joking about the laundry.
*sigh*
And with that friendly little reminder…I…must…go!
Love you girls and continue on! I need something good to read tomorrow morning before the kids get up! HAHAHA!!
(brandy – did you go leave my man a birthday message? slather on some crazy for him.)
oh yes yes I MUST do that first!! THen I’m outtie!
did I just say outtie? geeze.
but you know what….
we’re talking so negative.
We’ll just l have to have planned events, So your not busy with Hotty, and Jake, and paul and the runts.
We’ll laugh our heads off and pee and go back to our lives.
simple!!
are you REALLY naked?
(i have an innie.)
that’s true, heidi. we’ll just need to plan it – make times to have crazy comment conversations!
innie too
innie too
(i need to call it an early night tonight… i am ZAPPED! but THIS has been oh-so-fun, i don’t even want to get off…)
brandy – i love your comment for niel. i burst out laughing just now. my oh my!
and… i’m seriously trying to wrap my mind around the fact that we’ve been having THIS conversation with you not only nursing but sitting NAKED. tell me you’re kidding!
Guess what me too.
I have my presentation staring at me.
Lovin ya!
heidi — major gear-shift for you… but you can do it. i’m confident in your ability to switch from huggaboochin to visioneering. g’night friend!
I COMMENTED ON AB’S!! Go check it out. You will laugh. A lot.
Thanks for that push!!
oh yes, I am TOTALLY naked.
Besides the pants and shirt. No undies though. I’m commando the whole way. So, I’m half naked??
commando comment conversation concerning consummation craziness.
UNBELIEVABLE.
that makes this whole thing so much funnier to me.
THAT IS HILARIOUS!!! hahahaha!!
I had to leave another comment at AB’s b/c I goofed. I hate wordpress. Sometimes.
no worries… seriously. i like that you asked him to tell you what color! ha ha ha!
okay. for reals… we all need to get off of here.
good night, ladyfriends. thanks for a darn good time.
(“that’s what she said!”)
nighty night!!
*kisses*
take a look: http://alece.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/sects-2.jpg
Wow. We just stopped painting and delayed going to bed to read this. Silly girls!
You seriously need to not be at a host home.
you didn’t read ALL of it, did you!??! that would take ages at this point.
sheer craziness seems to erupt spontaneously on my blog at times.
great job, lovely…great job!
[and perfect use of "that's what she said"...you're a rock star!]
yessss! i’m glad you saw that. i’m a fast learner, you know.
now i just need to actually watch an episode of the office!
(did you see my “take a look” link up there? you’ll like that.)
you never cease to amaze me, queen of the african nights! And yes, the picture was beautiful…and quite accurate, I might add!
However, as a couple who’s lived w/ other people more than we’ve lived on our own…I might have some handy dandy tips for you. First…get a lock b/c getting interrupted during the “booch” of hugaboochin aren’t may favorite memories! And if a lock isn’t available, use a stopper, or a chair, or a dresser! For heaven’s sake!
yes yes yes. good call. what other tips ya got for me, oh liver-with-other-peoples…???
if someone does end up coming into your room, never say, “uhhh, not now”. it’s a dead give away that you’re waxing the floors.
oh, and if you have to be loud, make the other person cough. it can be quite tricky at times, but you’ll get the hang of it after the first few times.
“waxing the floors”!?!? i’m learning all sorts of new phrases…
so… what do you say instead of “uhh…not now” when someone knocks???
great question! You just causally say, “I”m so glad that you decided now was a nice time to talk. However, I’m in the middle of something and would find it most advantageous to speak with you another time. Mind leaving a message on the door WHICH WAS CONVENIENTLY SHUT!”
just a suggestion
maybe niel can say,
“we’re not available right now. please leave a message after the beep. BEEEEEEEEP.”
yeah, but I”m thinking that “BEEEEEP” will actually be the Hollywood sound bite for (*&(*&^*&(*$$%#%!
HA HA HA HA!
dang, you’re good!
that’s missionary for “what the ???”
(thanks for translating to missionary-speak for me.)
(i did just learn that “walk it out” means dancing… so sometimes i need translations.)
well, i take some tips from you most frequently…so, it’s only fair.
that’s what he said.
…and he’s ever so grateful!
ha! oh cathi, you are good for my heart.
Ok, so …… that was a lot of comments.. I think I read half and then I gave up reading more… just way too many. lol.
You go guys, get your groove on! ;)
Dustin and I were apart several times when he was in the Air Force. First of which was 6 weeks for boot camp. That was nearly impossible. Then he moved to his Tech school. The first four weeks he had to live in the dorms on base, I also lived in that town in our apartment. We got to see each other every day, but no nookie for the 4 weeks. Just holding hands and an occassional kiss. It was actually really amazing for our marriage, though I wouldn’t want to do it again.
Then he spent two stints over seas. They were each two months at a time. These were actually easier to do cause Grace was a baby and I was busy with her. But we were glued to each other forever when we got back together…. I hate being apart. And I hope we never have to endure that again for more then a day or a few days. :)
I can’t wait to hear about your reunion. Though you can leave out the juicy details of that kind of *ahem* stuff… hehehe!
MSN had this piece on how to kiss better. Notice the very last line…HA.
Get your hands in on the action
“Run them through my hair, or, if you really want to get me going, stroke my neck. Yeah, it’s a bit effeminate of me, but it makes me feel as if she’s enjoying it so much that she can’t control herself. Just lip-to-lip contact is the missionary position of making out.”
anna — reading “nookie” made me laugh. my oh my, the list of alternate words/phrases for good ol’ S-E-X just grows by the minute. who says blogging isn’t educational?!
becca — i don’t know which is funnier: that the kissing article used the phrase “missionary position” or that YOU were reading the kissing article!
Hey- It was on my email site. haha.
I’ll figure out how to master it in due time. Though I did read it.
….
Haha.
You have never heard of nookie before? LOL
I can’t help it…. it’s much easier to use an alternative then to say SEX
becca — yes, but you clicked on it! (and… purpose to only master it with your husband. will save you a lot of heartache.)
anna — what can i say? i live in africa! and oh yeah, i’m all for avoiding saying the S-word.
SEX
SEX
SEX
SEX
SEX
SEX
SEX
SEX
SEX
SEX
:shock:
CRAP! I always forget. *sigh*
ROFL
I am soooo glad that I didn’t have internet yesterday and I was able to stay out of this one!!! heehehe
oh my this is so funny! I have read every bit of this over the past few days! And I have to comment about the “Brazilian” comments. I’m not sure who said it or what it was in context too. How about a Brazilian bikini wax?? Thats what I think when I hear Brazilian! Or Brazilian cut panties which are cool too, but if you wear those you really need the wax to make it all work well together. Oh and I went to Victoria’s Secret yesterday and scored some awesome panties and a purple bra!! They look really great and are way comfy too. Maybe I should join the “Hoe out Alece” group and send you some panties for your reunion! I’m all for hoeing up the married ladies!! Oh and the other week I got some great “hooker” shoes and they worked like a charm (even with blisters on my feet, it was well worth it!). Ok so my husband Dan asked what I was reading for so long and when I tried to explain it didn’t go very well. He basically thinks that Neil and Alece are in a group called “missionaries who have hot steamy sex”.
sweetness…did you ever think of how many people you have made smile within this one post?
You’re nothing short of amazing!!!!
@Faith’s comment:
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *deep breath* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
OH my gosh I’m dying. Absolutely dying!!
Faith, I’m sending her some spikey heels! You send the undies!!! Yess! Let’s get a care packaget together!
Oh this is funny. So so funny!!!
brandy — you will never cease to make me laugh!
mo — c’mon! jumping into the scary deep end is the best part!!!
faith — phew… you’ve got a knack for making me blush on my own blog. and i cringed that you caught onto that brazillian business… and i had to laugh at your last sentence! ha!
cathi — if lots of babies are born 9 months from now, don’t blame me!
“this just in…the baby boom of 2009 has been traced back to a blog posted by none other than a missionary named Alece. Thanks to her great endeavors, the human population has grown and we are experiencing a major economic upturn – gas prices have fallen and the housing market has leveled. The President will be visiting Alece this weekend in South Africa to present to her a medal of honor and a years worth of birth control”
ha ha ha ha! if he’s gonna come with a million bucks in hand (for the ministry of course), then bring it on… and start havin’ babies!
aaaaaaahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
CATHI!! HILARIOUS!!
Dear Sweet Alece, it’s fun to make you laugh. heehee
outrageous!!!!
i learn so much on this blog!
invaluable!
so do i, tam!!
michelle — i just checked. there’s no “W” in DC… SHAME!
SHOOT!
I read that and stared at it and read it again…no W in DC??? Sure there is…Washington, DC…George W. Bush…?
Decided you must have been talking to another Michelle…came to read…oh yeah!! The W!!!
I am shocked! We stayed at the one in New Orleans, pre-Katrina days.
The Westin is the same chain…not as chic but still quite luxurious (not sure about the sound-proof rooms though). Could have just been a New Orleans thing – considering the wildness of that city!
I found this in DC…same chain…looks nice *shrugs*
http://www.starwoodhotels.com/westin/property/rooms/index.html?propertyID=1013
michelle — ha ha! i’m glad you figured out what i meant… i’m looking at the westin right now… need to get a thumbs up before i hit submit on that credit card purchase!
YAY!!!
Have mad passionate love but please, please, don’t tell us about it…PLEASE!!
oh… i won’t.
lips will be sealed.
the pre-conversation was bad enough for me! a post-post? forgeddaboudid!