Posted by: alece | June 18, 2008

flying colors

We’re staying in Middle-of-Nowhere, Missouri with Granny and G-Daddy. (Note: Their names have not been changed to protect their privacy.) G-Daddy seems to have been testing me since I arrived. The biggest test just got placed in front of me. “Wanna go for a ride?” he asks.

A few days ago he told me all aout his motorcycle. When he asked if I’d like to ride with him sometime, I said I’d never been on one before and it seemed a little scary to me. “Oh it’s not scary at all,” he assured me. “So I just hold onto you or what?” I asked. “Nope. You’re not allowed to hold on.” My eyes bulged and I started to laugh. Certainly he’s kidding… Amid some joking and swift topic-changing, the conversation dissolved.

And now here I am, in the final part of the test to determine whether or not G-Daddy adopts me into the family. (Figurativey speaking, of course.) A quick glance over at Dave and Amy reveals huge smiles and nods. “Do it,” Kitty whispers.

I look back up at G-Daddy. “Sure. Let me go grab my sneakers.”

Minutes later I am standing outside by his monstrosity of a bike, donned in a leather jacket, black helmet, and bug-deflecting goggles. As I climb onto the bike, G-Daddy whispers, “You can hold onto me if you feel you need to.” But I’m determined not to hold on. Not even as we pull away.

We’re off, wind in our faces. G-Daddy waves at every car we pass; he honks at a field of cows. We cross the swollen Mississippi into Slightly-Bigger-Than-Middle-of-Nowhere, Illinois. Destination: Wal-Mart. (Can you believe we have to drive to another state to get there?) Distance: 50 minutes. (Am I the only one who thinks of distance in terms of minutes rather than miles?  )

“You doing okay back there?” G-Daddy shouts back at me. “Yeah, this is great.” “You’re not scared are you?” “Nope. You can feel free to open ‘er up!” He starts laughing. “Open her up? We’re doing 90!” I smile. I know I’ve passed the test.

My eyes tear up as we pass the first Starbucks I’ve seen in days. It was just because of the wind though, I swear.

Errand completed, we head back. He cranks up the music. “Is that too loud for you?” “Nope. I like it. Fast and loud: That’s how I ride.” He laughs really hard. So do I.

I do the YMCA on the back of the bike when the song comes on. I discover that potholes really hurt on a motorcycle. The fields sparkle with lightning bugs; I keep my mouth shut to avoid eating them.

As we come to a stop back at the house, my face feels oddly plastered back from all the wind. I’m proud of myself for not holding on at all. ‘Twas a good ride.

We walk into the house. G-Daddy quickly tells everyone about me asking him to “open her up” and my announcement of “how I ride”. I smile and laugh.

I passed with flying colors…

Responses

Way to go on the passive voice. I like it. Who cares what Stephen King says, I say.

You’ll see, experience, and taste a Starbucks soon. I see this coming true in the very near future.
Thanks for making me laugh.

Wow, that sounds so great! Glad you had a good time. Love the jacket :)

Woah, Easy-Rider Alece!! Somehow I don’t get the feeling that G-Daddy’s approval comes cheap, especially when it comes to his chopper. ;)

I see metaphors here, sich as how, sometimes you have to protect your eyes and mouth so things don’t “stick” to you. And how God wants us to let go and trust Him to “let ‘er rip,” that He wants us to live life to the fullest and not so cautiously.

I feel like I just took a motorcycle ride with you and G-daddy! Thanks for sharing, Dennis Hopper! :)

I loved this post…..I giggled as I read the whole thing. I loved that you joked right back with G-daddy and I am sure that’s what won his heart over. The picture is just the icing on the cake…….that is a big bike! :)

This is a great look for you. How fun! I have never ridden a motorcycle either. DaRonn wants to own one. Sounds like a good time.

I, too, measure distance by time (rather than miles or kilometers).

I am so glad that you got to have this experience, friend.

Hahaha… Fast, loud, & passive Alece. This is a side of you I’ve not seen. Looks good on ya. Thanks!

Born To Be Wi-ii-i-lldd! :-D

I think G-Daddy (any relation to P-Diddy?) was won over BEFORE you even got on the bike! ;-)

What’s not to love?

And just WHAT was the man thinking doing 35 mph OVER the speed limit with Little Al’s Precious Mom # 2 on the back of his bike???

I may have words with that man!

Glad you loved the ride Leesh - but you wussed out - a sissy bar? and a padded one at that? A bike with a stereo???? James Dean is spinning in his grave.

You’d make a total Hot Momma in those leathers tho ;-)

<B

no! no, bikes. Danger, danger will robinson!!

haha! Good for you! Sounds great! Motorcycle rides are fun. I’ve only been on a couple, but … fun. :D

Too much fun! I’m glad you’re safe and sound in good ol Missouri :) I’ve been wondering how you were holding up.

oh you so totally rock!!!!

distance = minutes. ofcourse! everyone who’s a redneck knows that.
;)

haha.
that’s awesome.

LEECEY, you’re so awesome!
Love it, my beautiful biker-chic friend.
And I only think in time when it comes to distance. Miles mean nothing. :)

I had a G-Daddy too, and the name just seems to suit your “Wall-Mart courier”, as well as my Grandfather! They have just the right amount of Mischief hidden behind the twinkle in their eyes that can be released at just the right time to create a wonderful memory!

becca — thanks for the compliments. and ya know… i had a starbucks when we did our eventful walmart run yesterday. mmm. bliss.

birgit — the jacket was amazingly warm. i thought i was gonna freeze with all the wind, but i stayed nice and toasty.

lisa — yes… i see them too… :-)

sarah — glad you giggled with me. the whole thing still makes me laugh.

@ — in general, i’m not a big fan of motorcycles. they still seem fairly unsafe to me. but i did enjoy my ride on the wild side.

ric — “fast, loud, and passive” - that about sums me up!

love — a bike without a stereo?! no thanks. the fact that there would be music is really what sold me!

kelly — look who’s talking, miss adventure!

annie — oooh. you’ve ridden, too?

moweezle — yeah… i’m still in theMo right now. been doing okay; just don’t really have internet access very much. we are headed to ohio (12 hour drive from here!) in a few days… which will be better for a lot of reasons, including wireless internet! :-)

mandy — are you calling me a redneck? c’mon! repeat after me: yan-kee.

joyrenee — you make me smile.

roo — awww… i’m your “beautiful biker-chic friend”? i love it. (and i love you!)

laura — i love when you crawl out of your hole to comment. i thought i remembered you telling me you had a g-daddy. i think you’d like this one… (how’s low-rider doing?)

i too do miles in min. it doesn’t mater f it’s 10 miles if it takes 30 min!!
I like your picture, i bet your butt is sore now.

Yes. Biker-chick is what I started to type… and left off the “k” because it seemed to fit better. ;)

You can join Uncle Ralph on a bike ride!!!

YOU are hilarious! I could so picture this as I was reading what you wrote. You have a great writing style, and your humor really comes through.
LOVE IT!! Storie
PS Did you have to floss your teeth afterward?
:-) HA!

What a great story and picture. I’ll be looking for the Hell’s Angel jacket and tats next. :)

I have been on a friends Harley once. Sadly I could no longer feel the wind rushing through my hair as I have none left. :)

You could probably have a lot of fun dirt bike riding on all your property back in Africa. Niel could hang on if he got scared. :)

You are totally rockin the biker look.

I do believe it is time to pass on the name Harley to a more worthy name barer. ;) there you go miss Alece. biker chick Harley van Rensburg

so, my friend, when I read, “donned in a leather jacket, black helmet, and bug-deflecting goggles.” My inner-angela-lansbury-voice was begging for a picture…you’re never one to disappoint, muffin!

next stop…let’s get you some ink! ;)

Wow…you totally look hot on that bike. Niel and you should totally invest. Seriously.

Biker chick!!!

I love to be on a bike.. Its been awhile…

but nothin like it!!!

love it love it

Love ya!

AAAHAHAHA!!!

This was hilarious!! I was totally jealous of you while reading this, but at the same time totally nervous. I was biting my lip and smiling at the same time! ;-) HA!!

LOVE the picture! Love it!

Great picture! I sat on a motorcycle once and was not very happy about it; it was a really bumpy ride and I think I’m traumatized fuh life. Kudos to you for enduring it! And I totally calculate distance in minutes [and no Mandy, I aint no redneck homey =P]. Oh and I was crackin up at you having to keep your mouth closed so you don’t swallow a bug. HAHAHA. Miss you Alece!

Hannah, no way are you ridding yourself of that nickname. It’s yours. :) Nice try, though.

wow. that’s brave.

ahh you mean im stuck with harley for life? i dont even ride bikes. i like bikes. but i dont have one. alece is much more worthy all dawned in her leather on the back of a HARLEY. it fits better i tell you.

faith — thankfully, i didn’t get sore-butt. that would’ve sucked.

roo — i’m glad you left off that “k”.

bean — i know! i’ll have to send uncle ralph a picture.

therealstorie — thank you for your kind words! i appreciate it. and nope… my teeth survived unscathed!

ed — i wanna buy niel a dirtbike. i did years ago… but when ministry money got tight, he sold it… this all happened before we even bought our property. now we have 2500 acres and he’s got no dirt bike! thankfully we do have a pair of ATVs that we traipse around on, but i know he’d love, love, love to have a dirtbike again… someday…

natalie — why thank you…

hannah — i could never be harley. that’s all you. for reals.

stegall — i’m glad angela started talking to you mid-post. i’d have been disappointed if she didn’t. and i’ve been contemplating some ink… (insert bug-eyed guy here)

applepie — niel would. in a heartbeat.

heidi — i don’t think i would enjoy it all the time, but once in a great while is fun…

bran muffin — hee hee! you made me laugh in return!

ayles — traumatized?!?! oh boy… not good.

:D you said “for reals.”
and…
i’d leave off the k for you any day, amiga.
how’s the o-HI-o state?

i did that just for you! ohio is great… i’m spending most of my time indoors with bubala or running in the grass outdoors with toddler. so … not much gallivanting or anything, but i’m very glad to be here.

Nice. Sounds great. These days I’m inside most of the day, trying to muster up enough concentration to finish homework.
Now you’re even closer than before - Ohio is very near. Shame.

roo — i drove through indy to get here from iowa city. i thought of you. i’m thinking of you again. right now.

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