grit and glory

woah…first comment. Maybe, unless by the time I hit send someone has beat me to the punch (or click).

Well, friend, I am not going to weigh in on this one just yet. Mostly because when it comes to controversial topics (or really just anything debatable) I tend to disagree with the rest of the known world (just ask char - her friends think I’m a little off) ;)

Holy cow! talk about rambling. I’m definitely not first commenter now..err…..

holy cow! HOLY COW!

Well, I think that we all have to do things from time to time that are just not us. It’s just not my cup o tea to get up in the middle of the night when my son has had a bad dream. The natural part of me would like to sleep. However, it is important that I get up and comfort him.

I know, maybe not the best example, but I think we just have to do things from time to time to get to an end result.

It’s not comfortable for you to do these things as you said. I think it’s probably just a part of God stretching you. For some reason, He wants us to be more and more conformed into the image of His son. Who knew? :)

My two cents.

^^ cindy. listen to her. she’s got it together.

my thoughts? Paul = be all things to all people. not in ways that contradict our morals or convictions, but in ways that bend, mold, maybe even distort our personalities and preferences a bit, in order to reach people that we otherwise might not be able to reach.

drew had a mentor that became a pastor and started a church. he was struggling with the “role” he played. until he realized that people just needed someone to play the role - fit that spot - BE the preacher. DO the thing. so. he realized that in weddings/funerals/etc, he was to “be” the cloth. be the man in the cloth - the holy guy who could walk them through the process as an ambassador and representative of God, even though he’s nervous as all-get-out because he’s never done a funeral before.

sometimes the people need us to BE “something” for them. that’s servitude.
Christ: how authentic AND JARRINGLY INAUTHENTIC was He when He wrapped that towel around his waist, knelt before Peter, and offered to wash his feet?

be all things - serve South Africa - it needs you.

^^also very together.

i agree… and i’ve seen this played out in my own life so many times. i think it’s the way we develop our personalities, our strengths. yes, there are some things we’re just better at… but there are also many ways that we have to grow ourselves to be efficient in ministry. crazy to think about all the ways i’ve not been me in order to become me.

oh, and my green face is growing on me. he kindof makes me laugh. definitely a he. mmhmm.

That inner voice has both gentleness and clarity. So to get to authenticity, you really keep going down to the bone, to the honesty, and the inevitability of something.
Meredith Monk

I have this posted several places in my life. One of Them being in my bible.

Someone told me if I continue to go down the road I was going, than God will never be able to grow me.

Until I become real and authentic and raw
and then truly turnover my weakenesses

so that He may show His glory.

I get you. I understand the internal struggle.

You have a wise husband.

This is the key sentence: My friendliness and warmth aren’t fabricated; they’re just being expressed more often and in ways that don’t come natural to me.

Another thing that does not come natural to you is knowing that the needs in Africa are not being met because you decided to sit on your hands. What other option do you have? Seriously. Because if you know of a better way to connect people to the eternal purposes that we are accomplishing then pass the word our way.

DaRonn and I wonder if there will ever be a day when there is a completely equip and highly talented team that considers it their ministry to fund raise for the work here in Bolivia. It might be the next era in missions: that prosperous people realize their God-given skills in money management and come alongside missionaries to enable us to dedicate ourselves to prayer and the ministry of the word. (Acts 6:1-4).

20% 80%
Two of the twelve months is like 17%. So you are doing pretty good, I think.

Rhetoric for your rhetorical questions coming your way:

* When I have lengthy small-talk conversations, am I wrongly giving the impression that I naturally enjoy that sort of thing?

No. You naturally enjoy the results of that relationship though. Gotta think beyond the temporary discomfort. Which, I am sure you already are doing.

* When I speak in a church, am I painting an artificial portrait of what I feel comfortable doing?

When you watch other people doing what it takes to accomplish their goals do you wonder if they are comfortable? Your interns, an Olympic athlete, a new mother, a dedicated university student are all example of people who purposefully put themselves in extremely uncomfortable situations for the greater good.

* When I spend more time talking in one day than I normally would in a week, am I being insincere?

Insincerity deals with motives. Are your motives and goals to deceive the other person? Are your words full of lies and empty promises? I can’t imagine that this is what is taking place when you are conversing.

I am going to throw this out there; do with it what you will. Last night after church DaRonn was “keeping the lap top company” (I love that). I heard a voice with a thick accent coming from his direction passionately addressing issues of purpose and destiny. I got up and went over to see what he was watching. And there on the screen were my good friends Niel and Alece! DaRonn went on to explain all the wonderful strategies that Thrive has employed; dissecting piece by piece what you all (y’all) do and how you do it. And this was after he had spent the whole day on fund raising for the orphanage, then a whole church service. He was watching your videos on YouTube to wind down. :-)

Here is something too:
2 Corinthians 4:17 “For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison

Stick out the grit, the glory is coming.

Thanks for sharing this.

If we all were called to do what we were comfortable with, when would be have to rely on Jesus?

This non-vacation part is just as much a part of the ministry as teaching classes in SA.

As you do this longer, maybe you can find creative ways to make this part of the ministry closer to who you really are. Many people support Thrive because of their relationship with Grit & Anti-b (and the God-given vision)…the point is…people love you two and want to hear from your heart. You will still have to be relying on Him — you, of course, want to keep meeting new people (with that comes small talk) but we’ll be praying you have creative ideas.

Love you. Thanks again for sharing this.

I basically agree with what everyone said, and I just want to add that although you may be uncomfortable with what you are doing, I do think you are still being authentic. I think authenticity ends when you do something that is outside of your character, not simply “uncharacteristic”.

nat’s right:

you’re not being fake. you’re uncomfortable. you might not be comfortable talking for hours each day, but you are genuinely passionate about the vision.

Oh, Alece. SO many good things being said here. I agree with all of them. And I TOTALLY sympathize with you. I know exactly what you’re talking about. I was thinking about it yesterday, in fact. I was all bubbly, and smiles, and warm, and friendly, and engaging, talking with my tables last night (I’m a waitress, you remember. I don’t generally talk to furniture … or at least, not with that much warmth.) I was thinking about how it must come across to them - well, how it’s intended to some across to them - versus what’s really going on inside of me. A part of me is genuine - because I’m not a mean, crabby, or rude person - but a part of me feels every time like I’m holding my breath, jumping into ice cold water, preparing myself for the shock. “Don’t think about it, just do it,” kind of feeling. And inside holding my breath the whole time wondering if I’m really going to be able to pull it off or if I’ll come up short and draw a blank. Am I being inauthentic?

I think about what these other lovely ladies have said here, and I think … “well, I do want them to enjoy their experience. I do want them be impressed with the service, both for the restaurant’s sake, and for my own sake. If I were a customer, I would want friendly, personable service.” It’s just not Annie to do and be those things with total strangers. But when I’m waiting on tables, I’m not just “Annie.” I’m a server at Biaggis. That means that to them, the first thing they see when they see me is Biaggis rather than Annie. So I’m representing the restaurant first and foremost, not myself. They walk away thinking “I like Biaggis. That was great.” Rather than, “Annie was so cool. I should hang out with her sometime.” When you’re representing something higher than yourself, it sometimes requires something more than yourself to accomplish it. And that’s ok.

All that being said, it is SO good to have the close friends who know you for you, who you can relax and just “be” with.

Annie gave some really great examples. I especially like the jumping into cold water one. Taking it just one step further… Who would purposefully jump into freezing cold water? Well, if it were to save a drowning person you would do it. That might be the same in your case. You are doing it for the people.

And ^THAT^ truth about you makes me wish we were on furlough right now so that our paths could “accidentally” (or maybe not so accidentally) cross… we should plan it one of these years…

What are you doing in my brain again? This is how I feel whenever we are at home fund raising…the whole stinkin time. Dang. This does however make me feel funky…hearing or seeing it, from your side…from somebody else’s perspective. I don’t know what the answers are. But I do know that “it” is a necessary “thing”…to get our message out. People have not a clue what goes on in this place, and so you have to tell them. I know from just our one day together and through our internet friendship that you are a lady of integrity…and so no. I do not think that you are being fake. I think that you are raising awareness and bringing it home for people who normally would never get to experience Africa.

There’s a lot of wisdom floating around here.

i’ve so appreciated everyone’s input here. thanks.

i definitely see the value in what i’m doing; that’s not really in-question for me. i’ve just been pondering the authenticity aspect of it all.

angie — “insincerity deals with motives” - that helped me. a lot. (and thanks for telling me about daronn’s “down time” choice. wow!)

natalie — i’ve been mulling over a sentence from your comment: “I think authenticity ends when you do something that is outside of your character, not simply “uncharacteristic”.” what do you think is really the difference there? break it down for me…

annie — THIS was so good for me to hear: “When you’re representing something higher than yourself, it sometimes requires something more than yourself to accomplish it. ” i’m gonna be thinking about that all day today.

KA — we need to make a date to get together when i’m back in SA…

oh - and kelly? you’re allowed—invited, even—to be controversial here.

Hi Kitten… so I think what’s important is that you don’t change who you are when you have seasons such as a States trip that inevitably forces you to spend more time filling roles for the ministry that aren’t as congruent with your personality and giftings as many of your other roles. I don’t think spending your time raising funds, meeting new people, making small talk… is unauthentic… I think it’s a necessary part of what you do as the directors of a growing ministry… and when you move past those initial meetings with people and start to develop relationships… then they have a chance to see beyond the “what you do” to the “who you are.”

I LOVE what commenter #10 said. You are being real, in an uncomfortable setting for you.

We are often asked to go outside our comfort zone. that’s how we grow. that’s how we learn to relate better to others. You’re growing even more in character being stretched by the very Hand of God to be His Hands to others as you serve others for Him.

Yes…Alece, for sure we will need to hang out…but only after you get some rest after your world tour. Say hi to Bono for me.

amy - thank you. when i read “then they have a chance to see beyond the ‘what you do’ to the ‘why you are’”, i both smiled and cringed. that’s sometimes even scarier.

tam - yes. that captures it so well. i am being real in an uncomfortable setting.

kristi - i got his autograph for you.

When I finished reading your post I wondered if Jesus ever felt that way? How would He have written that post? I think just like you did. He came from a heavenly realm to a contaminated earth - slightly out of his “Comfort zone”.

thank you, papa… (did you get my email?)

so, if the me I see isn’t the me they see, is the me they see the real me or the me I see?

Oh, this could make my brain hurt

for a second there, i thought dr. seuss was commenting on my blog.

that made my brain hurt.